


Color Me

by onlyasdark



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-13
Updated: 2016-04-23
Packaged: 2018-03-12 04:48:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 43,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3344192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlyasdark/pseuds/onlyasdark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the ark safely arrives on the ground, the sky people start staking claim to land that isn't theirs.  In an attempt to understand the sky people's intentions, Lexa allows herself to be captured and taken to their camp.  Upon meeting Lexa, Clarke is intrigued and insists she can learn more about life on Earth from her.  The more Clarke learns, she finds herself more willing to side with the grounders than her own people. Clarke/Lexa. Octavia/Lincoln on the side.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Color me Intrigued

The painful truth about peace is that it never lasts but god, does she wish it could. When they see the sky light up and hear the crash of a thousand missiles, it doesn’t take long for fear to spread across Tondc and then the rest of the clans.

She reassures her people, knowing they deserve their rest after seasons of war. She makes them promises she’s unsure she can keep. She tells them the sky people will not wander this far. She lies through her teeth and hopes they can’t tell. She sends out scouts hoping to gain more intel and they return with nothing but worrisome news. The people of the sky have started wandering their land in search of resources. They have weapons – not knives or swords or bows but guns. And suddenly, they’re a real threat. Any men like the mountain men are not allies. They cannot be bartered with. They cannot be won over with a boar and a union. In these times of peace they cannot share a common enemy.

When only one of her three scouts returns, claiming the others have been killed, she needs to act. There are hundreds, he tells her. Hundreds with weapons just like the mountain men.

“Kil em ol.” Indra spits at their next meeting and Lexa understands. Her general has lost too many to count and she will not take this threat lightly.

It has crossed the commander’s mind before. After all, she has the coalition at her disposal. Thousands versus a few malnutrition hundreds. If they acted now, while the sky people were still new to their land, they would emerge victorious. You can’t shoot what you can’t see. They wouldn’t expect an attack. For all they know, the Earth is barren wasteland. Their defenses are at an all time low. Lexa allows herself to consider the possibility but she cannot seem to justify killing an entire clan without at first attempting to understand them. Solutions found through diplomatic means are in the best interest of every leader, she reminds herself.

She knows she needs to get in there somehow, not as commander but as a young girl. Infiltrate their camp; find their weaknesses and their intentions.

“Heda?” Her general Indra looks up at her curiously upon noticing the commander is deep in thought.

They could leave whatever has fallen from the sky, hope it doesn’t find them, hope it stays where it is meant to be. She’s heard legends; of course, they all have, of those who took to the skies before the nuclear war broke out.

She cannot slaughter them, not yet at least.

“Osir raidd.” Lexa states, rising from her throne, Indra fast on her heels. They mount their horses and ride in the direction of the crash.

It isn’t long before a piercing noise echoes through the woods. It’s one she hasn’t heard for seasons, not since the fall of Mount Weather.  
“Gon faya.” She states, her eyes wide. Indra’s expression turns panicked as she looks around in the darkness. It is not her life she worries for, Lexa knows. Usually when the commander leaves more of her guard follows but she told them to stay put tonight. It’s just the two of them against armed invaders.

They wouldn’t survive in the woods very long, Lexa concludes. Their movements are heavy and they’re loud, shouting commands. In the dim light of evening, her armies could snatch them one by one without notice. Hell, they wouldn’t be much of an opponent during the day.

She doubts they’re proficient in the art of hunting, any animal within a ten-mile radius could hear them.

“Kuik!” Lexa whispers but as soon as they start riding back to camp, she freezes and pulls her horse to a halt. She can’t lead them straight to Tondc.

This is it, she thinks, this is her chance. She quickly removes her shoulder plate, sword, and daggers. She hands them to Indra and the general nods understandingly. The commander has always been more merciful than she.

“Indra, gon turn villai. Ai turn wen ai kan. Kar gon kru.” The commander rushes out and Indra hesitates before she nods and turns her horse the opposite direction. She knows better than to question the commander.

  
“Hav yu no kum sev dais, ai kum.” And with that she is gone. Seven days. She has seven days to find out what the sky people are capable of.  
Lexa dismounts and slaps the horse on its behind, knowing he’ll follow Indra back to camp.

Without her armor and her weapons she feels as vulnerable as she looks. She looks like a villager, not a warrior, in her dark tunic and tights. She steps lightly on the forest ground, as she undoes some of her braids; her hair falls easily into her eyes.

She spots the sky people before they spot her. There are four of them. She could kill them all but she knows they’d send a rescue team and that’s something she’d like to avoid. They’re heavily armed, rifles aimed at nothing in particular. They wear black bulletproof vest and Lexa can’t help but roll her eyes. A bulletproof vest cannot protect you from a sword.  
She takes a deep breath before she limps out into the open and fakes surprise at the men with guns.

“Grounder,” A blonde woman screams, “Get on your knees, hands in the air.” Lexa pretends not to understand. She can’t let them know she speaks their language. She raises her hands but doesn’t get on her knees. She allows a panicked express to spread on her face. She acts as her prey would, eyes drifting from one guard to another.

“On your knees,” A man yells again, gun pointed right at her.

“Ai kant hend,” she pleads, looking at him with faux confusion; he swings at her with the butt of his rifle. He’s slow and she could easily have avoided his attack but they can’t see her as a threat. He hits her right above the left eye and she feels blood beginning to drip down her face. She accepts the hit but refuses to give into his demands.

“I said get on your fucking knees.” He hits her again, deepening the cut and causing more blood to drip down onto her clothing. She clenches her jaw. Don’t kill him, she has to remind herself as she feels herself wavering.  
Just as the guard is about to deliver a third blow she hears, “don’t hurt her!” She looks up to see a dark haired man yell as he approaches them. He’s older than her and has warm brown eyes. Her head feels light and before she steady herself she’s falling, damn head wounds. Her vision starts to blacken but to her surprise she feels strong hands grabbing her before she hits the ground.

“I’ve got you.”

././././././././././././

There’s a freedom she feels on Earth that she’s never felt on the ark. The feeling of air in her lungs is indescribable. Seeing the sun from a space station is incomparable to feeling it on your skin. The world is alive and it’s so breathtakingly beautiful. She could draw a million paintings and never be able to capture the colors of the grass or the trees or the sky. She’s only ever seen such colors in pictures, she wasn’t sure they even existed until this point.

Her mom told her not to leave the ark, to stay in her room at least until the forest was thoroughly explored. She rolled her eyes, Abby should have known better than to think she’d ever be able to keep her from the outside world. She wandered aimless through the woods, never drifting too far. She wasn’t scared, per say, but it was getting dark and she didn’t want to get lost before she knew more about her surroundings.

She heard shouting and saw a dark haired boy and girl sparring with branches. He ducked as she swung but couldn’t foresee her next attack. She quickly swiped at his legs, causing him to fall over laughing. Bellamy and Octavia Blake, she recognized them as. They were both prisoners on the ark but here on Earth they were pardoned. They seemed to be enjoying themselves as much as she was.

As the boy stood up from the ground, wiping mud off his pants, he noticed her sitting and whispered something to his sister who nodded.

“You’re Clarke, right? Your mom’s on the council?” He asked, both of them approaching her now.

“That’s right.” She nodded. Her mom voted to float their mom, she was aware of that and couldn’t help but gulp. Here on Earth their actions weren’t limited by rules of the ark and that caused her concern.

“I heard they caught a grounder, that true?” Octavia asks and Clarke sighed in relief before she could comprehend their words.

“Wait, what?” She asked in confusion, “I thought everyone died?”

“Apparently not, “ The boy shrugged, “Rumor has it they’re torturing her for information as we speak.”  
He didn’t seem the least bit phased by this.  
Clarke’s stomach dropped. Torturing her. Being on the ground was a chance to start fresh, a chance to stop capital punishment. They didn’t have to float people anymore. She couldn’t imagine the council torturing anyone until she remembered how ruthless they were on the ark. Abby and Kane tried to float each other on multiple occasions.  
She hears Octavia mention something about a sparring session but Clarke’s too busy getting up to pay her any attention.

“I have to go,” Clarke muttered, dusting the remnants of leaves and dirt off her pants.

“What’s got her panties in a bunch?” Octavia wonders out loud as Clarke’s walk turns into a run

“She’s just scared she’d lose to a brat like you.” Bellamy grins, sticking out his tongue and darting away.

“Asshole!” Octavia exclaims, following him. She’s happy to see him like this – happy, carefree, young. On the ark, constantly protecting her and working for the guard was draining. He started to lose himself. His smile only made rare appearances and his playful vanished. It was as if landing on Earth had completely rehabilitated him.

  
Octavia took a moment to appreciate her surroundings, no more hiding under the floor boards for her. She had a new lease on life and she wasn't about to waste it, she thought, tightened her grip on her weapon and sprinted after Bellamy.

././././././././

When Lexa comes to her hands are restrained behind her back. She curses herself for losing consciousness. Had she been able to stay away she would have known how to escape, now she was clueless. Her head throbbed and she felt the sticky blood beginning to cake on her cheek.

There were three other people in the room. A dark skinned man standing next to a petite woman, looking over what seemed to be outdated maps. In front of her, with a canteen in hand, sat a man with a kind face. She recognized him as the man that came to her defense in the forest. He was the one that caught her. He stood up as her eyes fluttered open and tried to press the flask to her lips, she refused, turning her head to the side. She didn’t trust it. The man nodded in understanding and brought the canteen to his lips, taking a sip. She watched the water deplete from the container before she nodded at him. He tried again and this time she didn’t hesitate to drink.

“I do apologize for our guards, some of them don’t know how to listen to orders.” She has to keep herself from smirking, experiencing the struggle herself.

“She’s awake.” The dark skinned man says, both him and the woman turning to face her. The maps, she notices, looks like they were from before the war. They wouldn’t be much help to them now and for that she is grateful.

The room’s walls are metal and there are no windows. There’s only one way out the sliding door directly in front of her. With her hands behind her back she has no chance of escape.

“I am chancellor Jaha. This is Abby and this is Marcus.” The dark skinned man states, pulling up a chair and sitting next to Marcus.

“I apologize for the restraints, I didn’t find them necessary but someone insisted.” Marcus smiles apologetically. Marcus. She likes that man already. If it comes to war, she will not kill him she decides. Not yet at least.

“What’s your name?” Jaha asks carefully. She’s careful not to give anything away as she raises an eyebrow. Even someone who doesn’t understand the language would understand the intonation of a voice.

“Does she not understand?” woman asks from behind Jaha.

“She must not. She spoke a different language in the forest.” Marcus recalls and then points to himself and says his name. He then points to Jaha and Abby, doing the same.

The commander nods in understanding and just as she’s about to give out her name, the door slides open. It reminds her of the sliding doors of Mount Weather and she can’t help the chill that creeps down her spine. By now Indra must have returned to the village. Her people must know she’s here. She knows that if she doesn’t find a way out soon they’ll come for her. She only has a week, tops, before her armies start looking. Her only hope is that these people are less savage than the mountain men. She hopes she’ll still be alive for Indra’s arrival.

A girl, no older than Lexa herself, appears from behind the door. Her skin is a lot lighter than Lexa’s and her hair – it’s golden. Lexa can’t remember the last time she saw one of her people with hair that color. The blue jacket she’s wearing only serves to bring out her eye color. They remind Lexa of the sky on a clear day. She’s strikingly beautiful.

“Mom, Bellamy and Octavia said you-“ The blonde’s smile quickly fades as her eyes fall on the girl. She’s not from the ark that much Clarke’s sure of. Her hands are tied behind her back and Clarke feels the anger surging inside her. Her mom promised no one would get hurt. In school, they said no one survived the nuclear blast, that no one could have possibly survived the radiation. But what if they did, Clarke always wondered. We won’t hurt anyone, she remembers her mom saying. Promising. Swearing. Yet, here is this girl with her arms tied behind her back and dried blood on the side of her face.

“Who is that?” She asks, her heart racing. She knows it has to be a grounder but she doesn’t want to believe it.

“Clarke, you need to leave.” The woman Lexa has come to know as Abby says, turning to walk towards Clarke. She places a hand on her shoulder and tries to lead her out of the room.

“No, who is that and why is she tied up?” The blonde side steps her and starts walking towards Lexa. Her head wound the only thing she has in mind.

“This is a closed council meeting, Clarke.” Jaha states. Chancellor. The leader of these people. She could kill him and take over. She wonders if it would be that simple. It’s tradition if you challenge a leader and win, you become the new leader of the clan. But do the sky people adhere to the same traditions?

“Look at her, she’s a child. She can’t be any older than me. What are you doing to her?” The golden girl snaps her out of her thoughts as she kneels in front of her.

“Hi, I’m sorry.” She whispers apologetically and Lexa knows she means it. What does she have to apologize for, she wonders. Is she apologizing for the head wound or the fact that she’s tied up or for landing here in the first place? As if sensing her confusion Clarke clarifies, “I’m sorry for all of this.” She motions to her sitting in the chair.

Lexa doesn’t think she’s ever seen a warmer blue.

“Get me something to clean her face with.” Clarke states, looking over her shoulder at the elders.

“You do not give the orders here, Clarke.” Her mom says sternly but Marcus nods and crosses the room to retrieve a bowl. He hands Clarke the bowl and a clean rag and pats her on the shoulder.

“Let us give them some time. We have much to discuss. This girl is the least of our problems right now. First and foremost we need to find food. I doubt either of you can hunt.” He chuckles. At Marcus has a sense of humor, she can appreciate that.

“Kane’s right.” Jaha sighs as he stands, “Clarke, I trust you can take care of this at the moment.”

“If you need anything Clarke, if she tries to hurt you, there’s a guard right out the door. Just yell.” Abby states, her eyes sweeping over Lexa’s restrained form once more. She looks around the room, probably in search of anything that can be used as a weapon, and leaves.

She could kill her, Lexa thinks. She could snap her neck, easily. She doubts the girl knows how to fight. She could, but this girl has shown her kindness. And as Abby stated there’s a guard just outside the door. She wouldn’t make it far if he had a gun.

When the door closes, Clarke reaches to her foot and draws a knife. The golden haired girl catches her lip between her teeth as if pondering her next move. Lexa doesn’t think she’s going to harm her, but as she watches the girl she realizes she doesn’t know anything about the sky people. Here they all think her to be a handicapped, powerless, little girl.

The girl stands, knife in hand, and walks behind Lexa. Lexa sighs in relief when she feels Clarke tugging at the restraints. She cuts the material and Lexa brings her hands to rest in her lap.

The courage, or maybe stupidity, of this girl astounds her. She untied Lexa without knowing what she's capable of. Lexa can’t help but narrow her eyes. What are you, she wants to ask.

She watches the blonde carefully examine her wrists, frowning. Lexa tears her eyes from the girl’s face to look at her wrists. She observes the raw flesh and now that she’s thinking about it, it stings. Clarke shakes her head and looks up into the commander’s eyes.

“May I?” She asks and Lexa really wants to answer. She wants to say yes but she has to keep up her façade.

“Oh, right. Um-“ Clarke grabs the rag, wets it, wipes her own wrist with it, then looks at the girl expectantly.

Lexa nods and Clarke smiles slightly, pulling up a chair and grabbing Lexa’s hand. She’s deliberately slow in her actions as she presses the cool rag to her wrist. Lexa clenches her jaw as the water soothes the raw skin on her wrists.

The girl concentrated on her work, giving both wrists plenty of attention before motioning towards Lexa’s face.  
Once again only after the girl nods does Clarke proceed. Clarke wiped the blood off her cheek before carefully dabbing the wet cloth on the wound. It didn’t look deep and wouldn’t require stitches, for that, Clarke was grateful. As she wiped the girl’s face her eyes drifted to her features. She couldn’t tell what the girl was thinking. She couldn’t tell what she was feeling; her eyes were void of any emotion. Clarke couldn’t decide whether they were blue or green and when she realized she had been staring, she felt the redness creep onto her cheeks.

“There, all done.” She announced before she had the opportunity to embarrass herself some more.  
She stood up, smiling proudly at her work. Besides a small cut above the girl’s eye, she was as good as new.

“Mochof.” The commander speaks and nods her head, hoping the girl will understand.

“You’re welcome.” She responds almost automatically, her eyes lighting up and a smile spreading across her face. She's young in a way Lexa's never seen before. From a young age their children are taught to be warriors, carrying that weight on their shoulders. The commander doubts this girl has ever seen anyone take a life, let alone taken one herself.

“Mochof.” The girl mimics, bringing Lexa out of her thoughts.

“My name is Clarke.” She offers Lexa a hand but the girl doesn’t respond, tilting her head in confusion. She assumes this is a sort of meeting ritual for the sky people. The blonde frowns at Lexa's unresponsiveness.  

She points to herself, “ My name is Clarke.” She taps her chest, repeating her name, "Clarke."

Then she points to Lexa, waiting expectantly.

“Mo nom Lexa,” the brunette replies.

“Lexa.” Clarke repeats before smiling and saying, “Mo nom Clarke.”

Lexa tries to stop the smile from forming on her lips, she really does, but she cannot help herself upon hearing the sky person attempting to speak her language.

Color her intrigued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa have officially brought me out of retirement. I haven't written a fic since the second season of Glee. That being said, I apologize if I'm a bit rusty.
> 
> I am not fluent in Trigedasleng so if their language makes absolutely no sense to you in this story, I do apologize for that as well.
> 
> I hope you enjoy! Comments and suggestions are always welcome!
> 
> "Osir raidd" - we ride  
> “Gon faya” - gun fire  
> "Kuik" - quick  
> “Indra, gon turn villai. Ai turn wen ai kan. Kar gon kru." - Indra, return to the village. I will return when I can. Care for our people.  
> “Hav yu no kum sev dais, ai kum.” - If you don't return in seven days, I will come for you.  
> "Ai kant hend" - I don't understand  
> "Mo nom" - my name is


	2. She Fights

“What are we going to do with her?” Kane asks cautiously, unable to get the grounder girl off his mind. He can’t quite place it. He doesn’t understand if his fascination with the girl stems from the fact that she’s the first person from Earth he’s met, or if it’s about the way she carries herself. She can’t be older than 20 but there is an air of importance to her. Even with her hands tied behind her back and blood streaking down her face, she held her head high. When Thompson swung his rife at her, she didn’t cry or beg for her life, she was composed, her eyes actively scanning her surroundings.

“The girl can wait. What we need right now is to find an adequate source of food and water. The rations we have left will not last long.” Jaha sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. 2 weeks at best is what his advisors have claimed. 2 weeks to find a river of sorts and learn to hunt, start a garden maybe – if only they had the seeds.

“We shouldn’t have tied her up. And we most certainly shouldn’t have knocked her out.” Kane states, “If her people had any intention of helping us, it’s gone now.”

“She doesn’t even speak English, Kane.” Abby rations, "Look, the grounders we shot down a couple days ago carried weapons. We have no way of knowing whether they’re a peaceful people.” She trusts Clarke. She knows she's got a smart one on her hands but the thought of her being alone with the grounder is making her nervous. She didn’t like the way the girl’s eyes trailed Clarke’s every move. 

“We killed them.” Kane exclaims, no longer being able to hide his frustration, “We killed two of their people and now we’re holding a child captive. I do not agree with this, Jaha. Look, those men we killed carried bows, not guns. They’re primitive people. They’re probably hunters and gatherers. I highly doubt they’ve evolved past an agrarian society. They pose no threat to us.”

“Alright then, Kane. What is it that you suggest we do? Let her go?” Jaha asks, his voice rising. 

“What if that was your son, Jaha? Or my daughter?” Abby wonders. She knows what Jaha would do. And she knows what she would do. She would burn the entire forest looking for Clarke. The grounder girl’s people can’t be any different. She wonders if they're looking for her as they speak.

“We need her. She knows the land. She can lead us to water and supplies. For now we put her in the holding cell. And that is final." The chancellor says, rising from his seat. 

“Jaha, what part of she doesn’t speak English do you not understand?” These people cannot be reasoned with, Kane realizes. There's no point in arguing when he's faced with such a stubbornness. 

“Then teach her.”

././././././././././././././././././././././././././././././.

 She’s an interesting creature, Lexa decides. She doesn’t seem the least bit frightened, given she doesn’t know who Lexa is or what she’s capable of.

“What is this?” The blonde asks pointing to the chair.

“Sita.”

“Oh, that’s easy.” Clarke repsonds. Much to Lexa’s amusement, Clarke has been running around the room for a good 20 minutes pointing at inanimate objects and demanding their names.

"What am I?" 

“Skai plan.” Lexa states and Clarke catches a bit of resentment in the girl’s voice. She hasn’t moved from her position in the chair but her eyes have stayed fixed on Clarke.

“Skai plan.” Clarke repeats and their heads both turn to the sound of the sliding door. Upon seeing the chancellor and his council appear at the door, Lexa motions towards them.

“Skaikru.” She states, sitting up a little bit taller in her seat.

“The sky people.” The blonde states, looking to Lexa for approval. When the girl nods, she grins.

“Clarke, what is she doing untied?” Abby's eyes are wide and Lexa can sense the panic in the woman’s voice. She thinks I’m dangerous, Lexa muses. At least someone does. She watches Abby motion to the guard standing just outside the door.

“Wait, no. It’s okay. I untied her.” Clarke says, standing in between the guard and Lexa. He doesn’t seem too thrilled with this and turns around, looking questioningly at the council.

“What did she just say, Clarke?” Kane asks after he calls the guard off.

“Skaikru. I think it means sky people. We’re the sky people to her.” She smiles as Kane nods in approval, clearly fascinated.

“What’s her name?” He asks Clarke and the blonde turns to Lexa almost as if she’s looking for approval. It’s only after the brunette nods that Clarke tells them.

“Lexa, those people in the forest, the people we shot, were those your people?” Jaha asks calmly. She wants to nod, she wants to avenge their deaths more so, but she keeps her mask. After a couple seconds he sighs, “Take her to the holding cell. We’ll think of something to tomorrow, it’s getting late.”

“This isn’t right. She’s a human being, not an animal. You can’t just catch her and put her in a holding cell. She hasn’t done anything wrong!” The sky girl hasn't relented, shielding the grounder from the council. 

“Clarke, know you place.” Abby snaps. She doesn't like this one bit. She knows Clarke has never been complacent, she's always stood up for others but Abby cannot find the rational in standing up for the grounder. 

“She’s right, Abby.” Kane argues. Abby’s eyes widen as she turns to Jaha, pleading.

“Enough of both of you." He waves them off. He sometimes wonders how it's possible they haven't killed each other yet, "We aren’t here to hurt anyone, Clarke. We don’t intend on harming her people. We want peace and her people probably do too. I can’t imagine life has been easy for them.”

Peace? Her people will not allow for peace until they get their commander back intact. Two of her people were killed – murdered – by those similar to mountain men. A desire for peace will not erase the wounds from the past. The death of her people will not go unforgiven. Even if she could look past it, Indra and the rest of the clan wouldn’t. Blood must have blood.

“You killed two of her people and captured her. You think that’ll slide?” Clarke murmurs as her mom reprimands her. “What? If someone just happened to arrive on the ark from a different space station and killed two of our people and then captured one of our own, would we just accept that? Wouldn’t we seek justice?”

“Clarke, that is enough.” Lexa can tell the older woman is furious but she can't help but look smug. The sky girl is smart. She's just. And Lexa's respect for her just grew.

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate.” She shrugs as if it’s the simplest thing in the world.

The loudspeaker comes on and it catches Lexa off guard. There’s a voice that seems to carry throughout the room, an announcement of sorts.

“Kane. Abby. And Chancellor Jaha. The guard requests your presence.”

Upon mention of the guard Lexa visibly tenses. The adults might not have noticed it, but Clarke sure has and she eyes Lexa curiously. Is it possible that the girl understands more than she’s letting on?

“Put her in the holding cell for now.” The chancellor says, turning to walk out of the room. Their requested presence can't mean anything good.

“Wait. No. Release her under my supervision.” Clarke all but shouts and the room falls silent. Being under Clarke’s supervision would make it easier to escape. It would also make it easier to learn more about these sky people. She doesn’t want to admit it but she probably wouldn’t mind being in the presence of the sky girl either. Kane looks to Lexa, and he swears there something going on behind her eyes. 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Clarke.” Abby’s not exactly sure what the protocol for this type of situation is. On the outside Lexa looks like any other teenage girl, but is she? She was born on the ground. Questions suddenly flood Abby's mind. She wonders what types of things Lexa has had to do to survive and has to stop herself from shuddering. She wonders if the grounder played games as a child? If her parents showed her love? Did she have parents? And the most important question: is she dangerous?

“Mom, there are hundreds of us and only one of her. There are guards everywhere, the fence is electric. She’s not going anywhere. It might be good to show her that we’re not the monster she probably thinks we are.”

“I vote to allow it.” Clarke’s known Kane since she was a child, but she never saw in him the man he’s now showing her he is. She hated him for years. After her father’s death, Kane started spending a lot of time in the Griffins’ quarters and she hated him for it. She nodded him a thank you and looked to her mother and the chancellor.

“I trust you can handle this, Clarke.” Jaha states and turns to leave the room. She can’t hide the smile that stretches across her face.

“Clarke, if she tries anything-“

“Mom, I got it.” Clarke states, rolling her eyes. She realizes how she must look now, a sassy teenager with an attitude but she can’t seem to care. As soon as the council leaves, the blonde looks to Lexa. She’s grinning and she looks so much like a mischievous child, Lexa can’t help but raise a brow.

“Come on, I’m exhausted and you are probably too. We can get ready for bed and then I can show you the ark in the morning.” She offers Lexa a hand and the girl looks at it for a long second before grabbing it, and allowing Clarke to lead her out of the room. Clarke feels the girl visibly tense as they step out into the hallway. She’s looking around but her eyes are distant.

“Are you okay?” the blonde asks but she gets no response. Lexa is starring off into the distance. This all looks oddly familiar. The concrete walls and sliding doors. The eerie, lifeless feel of what Clarke called “the ark.” There aren’t any paintings on the walls, no furs, no trees. Everything looks so artificial. So much like Mount Weather.

Lexa hopes she’ll never see a deadlier battle. She hopes she’ll never again have to see her people being drained of their blood, locked in cages. She can’t help the frown that crosses her face. Disgusting. It’s Clarke’s voice that finally pulls her out of her thoughts.

“Where did you just go?” The girl wonders, she isn’t expecting a response but the far away look in Lexa’s eyes tells her it’s not a light subject. As Clarke leads them, the hallways look identical and Lexa doesn’t doubt she’d get lost looking for a way out. There are people passing by and their eyes scan her cautiously. They try to hide the fact they’re staring but it’s obviously. They’re dressed in brighter colors than she’s ever seen one of her people wear. There is a sea of pink and orange shirts, all too bright for Lexa’s taste. They’d stick out in the forest like a sore thumb. Clarke is talking again and Lexa does her best to tune out everything but her voice.

“…So to save the human race, the countries with space stations sent people to space before the nuclear bombs exploded. I guess no one figured there’d be survivors. We didn’t think there were. But here you are, alive and with no visible defects from the radiation. Incredible.” Clarke murmurs, her eyes drifting to Lexa's body. There’s a moment of silence and Lexa notices Clarke’s eyes taking her appearance in. Clarke looks up, catching her eyes and she looks away quickly. Lexa notices the red slowly starting to spread on her cheeks and she has to admit, it’s a good look on her.

“Uh, here’s where my mom and I live.” She states and Lexa doesn’t miss how she doesn’t say “parents.” She wonders what happened to Clarke’s father and why he’s not in the picture. Did he die in space? Are her parents not together?

It’s not too uncommon to have single parents or orphans in villages. She reminds herself it’s not her place to care. She isn’t here to become involved; she’s here for information. Clarke leads her into another windowless room. It must have been dark in space, dark and empty. Ugly fluorescent lights flicker slightly and Lexa can’t imagine spending her whole childhood in a place like this. The room looks almost sterile. The mountain men at least had paintings along their walls of the outside world. There is a main living room area with what Lexa recalls to be called a “couch.” It’s like a smaller, less comfortable version of a bed. The walls are a dull grey color. There’s a table with two chairs and a kitchen, if you can even call it that.

“That’s my bedroom and that’s my mom’s room.” Clarke points to two doors on opposite ends of the home.

“Here, sit.” Clarke points to the couch, “I’m going to grab you something to sleep in.” She retreats into the room and Lexa proceeds to sit on the couch. She leans against the rigid material. It’s nothing like her furs back at home. She trusts Indra is doing a fine job back in Ton DC but she can’t help but miss her village. If she were a real prisoner, she would have already attempted to escape.

She felt the dull pain returning as she closed her eyes. She doubts Clarke will kill her in her sleep, Abby on the other hand though. The woman doesn’t trust her, rightfully so. She’s cautious around her and she’s even more so concerned about her daughter. Lexa feels sleep taking over when Clarke comes back. She doesn’t open her eyes as she hears Clarke shuffling.

“Poor you, you must be concussed. I didn’t even realize.” Clarke murmurs and then Lexa feels a soft material being draped over her body.

The grounder feels fingers lightly brush against her cheek and as soon as they appear, they're gone.  

“Goodnight Lexa. If you need something, my door is open.” 

She replays the moment in her head until sleep takes her.

./././././././././././././././././././././././././././.

After a light breakfast, some bread and granola, Clarke insists they explore the ark. Lexa finds herself missing her own breakfasts, filled with fresh fruit and kills from the night before. The arks is no more welcoming in the morning than it was last night and when they finally pass a window, Lexa cannot look away.

“You’re probably not used to being trapped inside this long.” Clarke sees the way Lexa’s eyes light up at the sight of the world outside.

“Come on.” Clarke grins, pulling her by her hand. They’re not running, but they’re definitely not walking. They gain some confused and annoyed looks, especially by the elderly, but Clarke is grinning and Lexa finds a smile spread on her face. They step outside and Lexa feels she can finally breathe again. She smiles and inhales deeply as the sunshine hits her face. She realizes she’s still holding Clarke’s hand but she can’t seem to mind. Not now.

“It’s beautiful.” Clarke whispers. Her eyes are closed and she thinks she’ll never get used to the feeling of fresh air in her lungs.

Clarke’s hair looks even more golden in the sunlight and when she finally opens her eyes, they glow. Lexa isn’t sure she’s ever seen pure bliss until this moment. She decides Clarke looks better in the sunlight then she ever did in the fluorescent lighting.

As she forces her eyes from Clarke’s face, she notices many of the sky people have the same blissful expression upon their faces. It’s evident most of the residents of the ark are outside, enjoying the warmth. It won’t last for long now. The sun sets earlier and the autumn and winter months are coming. She wonders if the sky people know of winter and the devastation it might bring. If the cold takes their lives, Lexa won't have to. 

Lexa feels a tug on her hand and allows Clarke to lead her away from the ark’s entrance. There aren't many children, Lexa notes. Most of the children are already in their teens and Lexa wonders why that is.

Her villages are always alive with children, at least during times of peace. Lately it’s been difficult to find a parent brave enough to let their youngling wander out with the Mountain Men but slowly, seeing as they were no longer a threat, the villages were alive. Children laughed and played their games, only stopping to acknowledge the commander. She’d smile at them then, smile at their curiosity and obliviousness. These children would be raised in a world free of war, she would make sure of that.

Clarke doesn’t want to admit it but she likes how Lexa’s hand feels intertwined with hers. The grounder hasn’t made an effort to let go, and Clarke knows there’s no way in hell she’ll let go voluntarily. She wonders what it is about the girl. Sure, Lexa is pretty but she’s seen a lot of pretty people in her day. It’s like Lexa’s from a different world. She is, Clarke reminds herself. She’s older than her years and Clarke wonders if that’s what living on Earth does to a person.

Lexa is extremely observant. Clarke watches her eyes fall on the young boys and girls kicking a ball around. They’re laughing and screaming and Clarke swears she can see the shadow of a smile on Lexa’s face.

She watches as the grounder’s eyes fall on the wired fence around the perimeter. A safety precaution, Jaha had called it. Lexa pulls her towards it and examines it carefully before reaching out.

“No!” Clarke exclaims, pulling her back before she touches the wires, “You’d get fried.” She explains, grabbing a stick from the ground. She throws it at the wires and they come alive. Electricity. It’s a brilliant tactical move. The mountain men had a whole mountain; the people of the sky have an electric fence. Her warriors would have to find a way to dismantle it or destroy it before invading. Her people have fences but nothing like this. They’re a lot taller, impenetrable but not in this way.

Between the largeness of the ark and the electric fence, her people would have to wait for the sky people to come out of hiding before they struck. 

“Clarke! Woah, is that- is she a grounder?” She’s young, probably a little younger than Clarke. Her features are angular and strong and her jaw clenches as she examines Lexa. She has a long stick in her hand, and one slung behind her back, her hair is tied in a lose ponytail.

“Octavia, this is Lexa.” Clarke says cautiously, eyeing the grounder.

“Does she fight?” Octavia asks as she pulls the stick from its holder on her back and hands it to Lexa. She assumes her fighting stances and grins at the grounder. It’s a challenge if Lexa’s ever seen one. But the girl is smiling. It’s playful. It’s like sparring with a child. Foolish girl, Lexa rolls her eyes. She could dismember her in a matter of seconds. She lets go of Clarke’s hand and faces her opponent. Clarke frowns at Octavia. She’s not jealous, per say, she was just enjoying Lexa’s company.

“Kwel plan, yu kwait gonplei?” Lexa mutters just loud enough for the girls to hear.

“Enough talk, come on.” Octavia grins, jabbing her ‘sword’ at Lexa. The girl easily dodges her attack. The sky girl swings again only to be met with Lexa’s stick, the grounder maneuvers under their sticks and kicks out Octavia’s legs. The girl falls to the ground but instead of disappointment on her face, appears a smile.

“Yes. That was incredible!” She exclaims quickly picking herself off the ground. She gets back into her fighting position.

“Hod.” Lexa states, talking up to her. She motions towards her legs and taps the stick at Octavia’s ankle. The girl widens her stances and Lexa nods in approval.

“Thanks.” She smiles genuinely.

“Mochof.” Clarke corrects her and Lexa’s surprised she remembers.

“Mochof,” The younger girl states before lunging at Lexa, faster this time. Lexa has to remind herself to take it easy as her natural instinct to fight back is trying to take over. She starts to counter attack and tries to land her own blows on the sky girl. She’s a lot faster than Lexa thought she was. There’s elegance to her movements and Lexa can’t help but think, she’d be a great warrior if she’d been raised amongst our people. She’s a natural. She could be a deserving second if she worked hard. She watches as the sky girl starts tiring, as her movements grow sloppy. She swings a little too animatedly and Lexa ducks before disarming the girl, Lexa points her stick at her neck.

“Daunon.” Dead, Clarke concludes. She was going easy on Octavia. Any bystander could see that. If this were a real fight, Lexa would have killed her before Octavia even had the chance to swing. The thought sends chills down Clarke’s spine.

If this seemingly innocent girl fights so well, what is that to say about the rest of her people? Are they as skilled as she is? She decides against mentioning it to the council. If they found out she was a skilled fighter, they’d lock her up without a second thought. For some reason Clarke feels she cannot let that happen. Clarke makes herself comfortable on the ground as she watches the girls spar. They’re a blur of movements. Octavia’s grin juxtaposes Lexa’s intense glare. Again and again she watches Lexa disarm Octavia.

The girl is persistent, Lexa has to give her that. She fights back, every time. By the time Octavia admits defeat, it’s getting cooler and the sun is lower in the sky.

“That was awesome! Can we do it again tomorrow? I want to get better!” Octavia’s grinning. She would have never believed she’d be on the ground having sword fights with a grounder. Hell, a year ago she never thought she’d be on the ground.

“Can you show me how to fight like you? Can you help me get better?” She’s speaking to Lexa now. Before Clarke can tell Octavia that the girl doesn’t speak English, Lexa nods.

“Sha. Yu don yuj.” It surprises her – the fact that she answered, and even more so the fact that she said yes. She isn’t in any position to offer fighting advice, nor should she want to. But this girl, she has potential. It would be a waste of a warrior not to train her. And who knows, maybe she could even be convinced to merge with her clan. She decides she won’t kill this Octavia either.

“Is that a yes?” The girl asks cautiously and when Lexa nods, she squeals.

“Yes! Bellamy is going to get a kick out of her. I bet you she could take him. Till tomorrow then!” She grins, grabbing her sticks and racing off to find her brother. Lexa’s slight smile fades when she turns to see Clarke watching her curiously.

“You understand us.” She states. It’s a shot in the dark and she’s not expecting Lexa to answer. The grounder looks at her and raises an eyebrow.

“Ai ron nou op.” She responds, a smirk spreading across her face as Clarke crosses her arms. She doesn’t look the least bit amused and Lexa’s having a hard time keeping a straight face.

"Fine," Clarke huffs offering Lexa a hand, "Let's go, I have more to show you." Lexa can't wrap her mind around how comfortable she feels, walking around the yard, hands intertwined with Clarke. She shouldn't feel comfortable in the sky girl's presence, she knows that, but right now she doesn't feel like the commander and maybe, just maybe that's okay for now.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry this took a while. School is killing me right now. 
> 
> Thanks a bunch for all the kind comments and for all the kudos! I'm glad you all are enjoying it so far. I'm so, so excited for the next couple chapters!
> 
> I have the next chapter half written so I'll have that up before Wednesday! I'm playing with the idea of a college au as well, so we'll see how well that works out!
> 
> Skai plan - sky girl  
> Kwel plan, yu kwait gonple - weak girl, you wish to fight  
> Sha. Yu don yuj - yes, you are strong  
> Ai ron nou op - I don't understand


	3. Return Her

To Lexa’s surprise, she enjoys Clarke’s company. She enjoys hearing the girl’s stories of the sky just as much as she enjoys the little tidbits of information Clarke provides about every familiar face she sees. 

She also enjoys how Clarke holds her hand as they walk around the ark, their fingers intertwined.  She wonders if Clarke does it because she wants Lexa to feel comfortable or if she does it solely because she wants to. 

She wonders if Clarke enjoys it too.

As promised the day before, Lexa and Clarke make their way to meet Octavia.

“She was locked under the floor for 16 years just for being born.  The council was pretty strict about the one child per family rule.”  She’s got a fire about her, Octavia.  It makes sense.  Lexa can’t imagine being locked up for 16 years.  It sounds inhumane even to her.  She’s never tasted freedom like this and Lexa knows she can use this to her advantage. 

“Bellamy, the boy she mentioned yesterday, that’s her older brother.  He was a part of the guard until they locked up Octavia.  Their mom died.  She got floated.” Clarke explains as they sit on the grass, waiting for the girl to show.

Floated. Lexa has never heard of this concept and the confusion must have been evident on her face as Clarke elaborates further: “It’s when we’d execute people by sending them into space.” 

It sounds rather barbaric.  Lexa can’t say she knows much about space but she knows humans alone cannot survive there due to the lack of breathable air.  She wonders what it feels like, having the air drained out of your lungs, maybe it’s similar to drowning.   She looks to Clarke and notices the girl frowning.  The sky girl’s face grows sad for a moment before she regains her composure and continues. 

“It used to happen often – floating. We had a limited supply of oxygen and food and water, so almost every crime was punishable by death.  If you were under 18 you usually got lucky though.  I was locked up until they announced we were heading to Earth.”

Lexa wonders how long.  And why?  Why would Clarke be locked up? She wants to ask but she can’t.  She reminds herself to ask another time.  She eyes the girl.  Definitely not murder, she decides.  She doesn’t think the girl has a murderous bone in her body.

“Ladies!” Octavia announces her presence. With her, there’s a dark hair boy with a freckled face.  He’s strong, Lexa notes.  He’s a lot bigger than most of the other sky people she’s seen.  He doesn’t smile when he sees her; instead, it looks as though he’s sizing her up. When he meets her eyes, he smirks slightly. Underestimating an opponent is a dangerous game and she will prove it to him. 

“Bellamy, this is Lexa.  Lexa, Bellamy.” Octavia introduces.  She’s been giddy all morning, excited to learn more from the grounder.

“She beat you?” Bellamy asks. The grounder doesn’t look like much. She’s much shorter than him and a lot younger than he expected.

“Don’t knock it till you try it.” Octavia grins before turning to Lexa, “Kick his ass.”

 The slight smirk on Bellamy’s face infuriates her. Arrogant little boy.

“Watch and learn.” He offers Octavia and Clarke a shit eating grin and motions Octavia to toss him the stick as she shakes her head. He hands it to Lexa before drawing his own. He faces her and waves the stick in her face.  He’s a test to her patience if she’s ever seen one.

They circle each other before he lunges. Lexa easily sidesteps his blow. He looks disheveled before regaining his composure.  He swings again, only to be deflected.  Lexa takes advantage of his surprise and grabs his arm, wrapping a leg around his calf and pushing him back.  He falls heavily and looks at her, mouth open and eyes wide, then at Clarke and Octavia who are now laughing. All power and no skill, she allows herself to smirk.

"Damn, Bellamy. I thought you had more in you!” Octavia grins, teasing her brother.  Clarke can’t remember the last time she laughed so hard.  There has to be at least twenty of them, all gathered around to watch Lexa.  She’s a work of art really. Graceful and powerful and Clarke is having a hard time concentrating on anything but the lean muscles of her arms.  Her movements are captivating.  And even against opponents three times her size, she holds her own. It’s really quite impressive.   

Lexa can feel Clarke’s eyes on her and she puts a little more effort into her swings and dodges.  Maybe she’s showing off, maybe.  It surprises her.  She has no one to impress here and yet, she’s fighting for Clarke’s attention. She smiles every time she hears the girl clapping for her.    

“They’d all be dead if this were real.” Kane states, bringing Abby out of her thoughts.  She’s been standing a good distance away for a while, her eyes trained on the grounder.  

Again and again and again, Abby watches the grounder girl disarm the boy.  It has become a bit of a spectacle, really. 

Anyone who wishes to challenge Lexa does so, and like clockwork, loses.  Every single time what Abby would deem a worthy opponent swings at her, they end up disarmed. Bellamy, she thought, would at least put up a better fight.  As strong and as fast as he is, he should last more than a minute before Lexa has her ‘sword’ at his throat.

Clarke doesn’t seem the least bit concerned. She smiles and laughs and cheers every time Lexa defeats an opponent.   

“She’s holding back.” Abby grimaces, watching her daughter stand up and approach the grounder.  She says something before reaching up to wipe some dirt off the grounder’s cheek. It’s a playful gesture that seems to catch the grounder off guard momentarily but she accepts it, leaning into the blonde’s touch.    

Kane watches the exchange and witnesses the slight smile spread on the grounder’s face, the first genuine smile he’s seen. She’s cautious around all of them, she keeps her distance except with Clarke.  He saw them walking through the ark holding hands earlier. If he didn’t know any better he’d think that – no.  He pushes the thoughts out of his head. 

“Are you worried about the rest of her people?” Kane finally asks, tearing his eyes away from the two girls.

“Are you not?” Abby asks incredulously, “If this young, innocent girl possesses such a high skill level, what about their strongest warriors? This is nothing for her. A joke.”

Abby watches as a grinning Clarke grabs the stick from Bellamy, and turns to face Lexa.  The grounder raises a brow as Clarke grins.  She swings but every blow is met with nothing but air. Lexa doesn’t strike back as she does with Octavia or Bellamy.  The only time her stick collides with Clarke’s is when she’s on the defensive.

Clarke is getting frustrated and Lexa can tell. She sees the swing coming, she could have easily avoided it but she lets Clarke hit her thigh.

Abby watches Clarke stop and point at the brunette accusingly, “You did that on purpose!” She yells and all the grounder does is grin and nod.

“That’s not fair! Again!” Clarke huffs facing Lexa. The grounder holds up a finger and strides up to Clarke.  Her hands ghost over Clarke’s as she adjusts the blonde’s grip.  

“She’s taken quite a liking to Clarke.” Kane states, noticing the frown spread on Abby’s face.

“I don’t like it.” She huffs, stalking away from the girls. She doesn’t trust Lexa.

“Clarke stop flirting with the grounder. It’s my turn!” Octavia grins as Lexa quickly withdraws her hands from Clarke’s.  The blonde is blushing profusely at Octavia’s comment and Lexa looks confused, hoping Clarke will explain.  Instead, Clarke mutters something about shutting up before she takes a seat next to a laughing Bellamy.  Octavia assumes the fighting stance Lexa showed her and the grounder nods in approval, clearly satisfied.        

In the youth, Kane saw hope for both of their people.  Most of the adults steered clear of the grounder but the youth seemed to gravitate to her, eager to learn. They were just kids, not political figures.  Children could always find a way to peace, he mused, adults not so much.

././././././././././././././././././././ 

Clarke watches intently as Lexa rubs the two sticks together, creating enough friction for a spark.  She cups her hands around the smoke slowly starting to form and gently blows.  And suddenly, there it is – fire.  

“Woah, I mean, I knew it was possible, I just.” Clarke looks at the small fire.  Some dried moss, a branch, and a sharpened stick and Lexa started a fire.

“Let me try.” Lexa stands up, gently stomping her foot over the flame.  It dies out and she hands Clarke the stick.  Clarke tries again and again and after a couple of minutes she nothing if not frustrated. Lexa had made it look like child’s play.

She looks to the grounder for help and Lexa nods, reaching for Clarke’s hands. Her fingers gently cover Clarke’s and she re-angles the sticks.  The gesture shouldn’t make Clarke think twice.  Lexa is only helping her but when she looks up and notices Lexa’s eyes carefully examining her face, she feels the red coloring her cheeks for the second time today.

Lexa’s hands linger as do her eyes.

The sound of her mom’s voice causes her to break eye contact.  Lexa rips her hands away upon seeing the disapproving look on Abby’s face.  It softens once her eyes land on her daughter. 

“Clarke. Thank god you’re okay.” She’s out of breath and her forehead is damp with beads of sweat.

“Mom, you okay?” The blonde asks, not getting up from her position on the ground.  Lexa turns back to her fire, looking completely uninterested in the conversation at hand.

“Two of our people are missing, Clarke. They’re missing.” At this Lexa's ears perk up.  She keeps her head trained on the ground but she wonders in Indra had something to do with this.

“Did they get lost in the forest?” Clarke wonders. These woods are mostly unexplored. They’re somewhere in the Eastern United States and the forests have regrown, hiding all traces of the old world.  The maps they have on the ark are outdated and for the most part, useless.  

“Thompson said the grounders took them.” Lexa feels Abby’s eyes on her but she ignores them, feeding the fire with some dried grass.  Indra must be growing impatient, sending a warning sign to the sky people.  

“What?” Clarke’s eyes widen at this. She figured they were peaceful people. Her eyes drifted to Lexa. They want her back. This is their warning. Take one of ours and we’ll take two of yours. 

“They took them, Clarke.  They used the trees.  They’re extremely fast. They wear skulls on their heads. These people are dangerous.” Lexa looks innocent, almost too innocent, as she pokes at the fire aimlessly.

“It’s because we took her.” 

Abby doesn’t argue with her logic.  

./././././././././././././././././././././././././././

They found them.  They found their missing people.  Strung up on the trees, spears through their hearts.  They were bloodied and beaten. 

As if the camp didn’t have enough to worry about. The survivors were concerned about their missing people but watching those people being brought back, bodies mutilated, a sort of panic spread across Camp Jaha.  

There was a note.  Elegant writing scribbled on a yellowed sheet of paper.

“Return the girl” was all that was written.

Abby almost threw up when she saw the condition the bodies were in, as they were being carried back to camp.  

Two others had been taken.  Jaha doubts their fates will be any different then those of the men in body bags.  He needs answers.  He needs Lexa to talk.  

“Where is she?”  Abby bursts through her home door to see Lexa and Clarke sitting on the floor. Clarke holds a book in her hand and Lexa appears to be listening intently to her speak. 

“Mom, what’s happening?” Clarke asks, gaze landing on the two armed guards.  Before she has the chance to argue, the guards hoist Lexa up off the floor and tie her hands behind her back. The girl doesn’t look the least bit concerned and Abby wants a reaction from her.  Abby wants Lexa to feel what she's feeling right now - fear - but a rather unamused look appears on the girl's face.

“Where are you taking her?” Clarke’s on her feet now, a panicked look on her face.

“A private conversation with the council.” Abby’s face is cold as she answers. It’s one Clarke hasn’t seen in years.  It’s one only reserved for criminals and council hearings.

Clarke feels her stomach drop. A private conversation with the council only meant one thing.  

“No, mom. You said you wouldn’t do things like this. You said the Earth was a chance to start over.” Clarke’s yelling now and she feels hot tears welling in her eyes.

“I’m sorry, Clarke.”  Her mom says, signaling the guards to escort the grounder out of the room. She watches Lexa look over her shoulder in confusion and then understanding.  She offers Clarke the only thing she can, a slight smile, before the door shuts behind them and Clarke is left alone.

././././././././././././././././././././././././

The guards force her down, with heavy hands on her shoulders, to the same chair she found herself in a couple days ago. 

“We don’t mean you any harm, Lexa.” Jaha starts but it’s his face that betrays his true intentions.  She’s seen leaders like him.  Weak. They panic at the first sign of danger. He had no adversaries in space. No outside threat challenging his rule.  

“Two more of our people went missing tonight. Where are they?” Lexa has to hand it to Indra. Four sky people missing in the span of a couple hours.  She knew her general was brilliant but she didn’t think the sky people were so careless in their treks. 

“Lexa, we don’t want to hurt you. We just want our people back.” Abby speaks up.  Lexa finds herself not particularly fond of Abby.  She means her harm, she looks at her like she's a liability to them.  She looks at Lexa like she's the enemy, like she's the one that invaded their lands.  Lexa especially doesn't like the disgusted look that appears on Abby's face whenever she sees her and Clarke together.  

She looks around the room, memorizing each and every face that is a part of this situation.  Kane's absent and she's thankful for that, thankful he's not involved in this. The sky people have started something they don’t know how to stop. They’re scared and they’re acting irrationally.  At the hands of Jaha, a truce seems more and more unlikely.  They’ll be lucky if she decides to spare their people after this. They will beg for their lives and she will appear merciful.   

She feels the first fist connect with her jaw but she doesn’t flinch.  She doesn’t allow herself to whimper or whine.  She takes blow after blow with her head held high.

The man swinging is the same one that swung at her with the rifle.  She looked at his name tag. “Thompson.”  He’ll die first, she decides. She'll drive her sword through his heart.  

“Where are they?” Jaha’s voice is louder and at this point, she’d let those captured sky people die just to spite him.

“Your people hung ours, dead and bleeding, from the trees.”  He’s walking towards her now, stopping at her feet.  He looks her dead in the eyes and swings.  His fist connects with her cheek and she feels the flesh split under the force. 

She gasps quietly, eyes drifting to Jaha’s fist. He’s wearing a large, gold ring on his middle finger.  She feels the blood seeping out of the cut and it stings.  The blood drips into her mouth and before she has the chance to recover, he swings again.  She tastes copper. 

Jaha approaches her again and leans down so he’s on eye level with her.

“Please –“ But before he gets the chance to finish, Lexa spits.  It’s a cheap shot but it’s the most she can muster with her hands tied behind her back. He retreats quickly and wipes at the red on his face.   

They’re pathetic.  A couple punches.  She’s not even sure she can call this torture.  This isn’t even something she, as a leader or warrior, can respect. 

“Jaha, did you decide-“ Kane freezes when his eyes land on Lexa.  She watches the silent fury appear in his eyes as he pushes past the guard to her. He kneels in front of her, quietly examines her faces and shakes his head.  Abby and Jaha look away, seemingly ashamed of their actions.

“I thought we agreed this wouldn’t happen.” He stands up, fury evident on his features.  To torture a solider, okay, sure.  He can understand the politics behind it but to torture an innocent girl, that's something he will not stand for. 

“Our people need answers.”  Abby states, biting her lip.  She’s trying to justify their actions more to herself than anyone else. 

“This is not how we are going to go about things, chancellor or not.” Kane states, motioning for the guard to cut her free. He hesitates, torn between following the orders of the chancellor and the council member. “Now,” Kane raises his voice and immediately her hands are being freed.

Now, if Kane were to lead the sky people maybe an alliance or at least a truce would be possible.  Kane offers her a hand but she refuses, her pride not letting her to show weakness.  She pushes herself off the chair and has to will herself not to stumble as her head spins.  Abby reaches to steady her but she flinches away from her touch.  The last thing she wants is the council member's filthy hands on her. 

She's led through the halls by Kane, who ready to catch her whenever she wavers.  It’s empty for the most part, majority of the ark residents turning in for the night.  

“Here we are.”  He says and tells the guards they can leave now.  24 is the number written on the door.  She wonders how many there are.  It slides open and a single fluorescent-lit room comes into view. There’s a single cot and a bucket in the corner.  The walls are concrete and there's window, directly above her.  She can see the starry night sky.  How cruel it is to put a window in a cell.      

She settles on the cot realizes she’s never been in a cell.  She thinks back to Clarke saying she was locked up.  Lexa wonders if she was in a cell similar to this.  She can’t imagine how lonely she must have felt. Lexa hope she’s alright. The way Clarke reacted to her being led out of the room made Lexa want to fight the guards just to tell the girl it’ll be okay.  She wanted to reassure her, tell her she’d find her way back.  The tears on the girl’s cheek infuriated her.  It only made Lexa want to comfort her and she couldn't for the life of her figure out why.    

The sky people will pay.  She will have Jaha’s head.  Her people will skin him alive when they see the condition he left her in.

Kane’s standing at the door, arms crossed, a concerned look on his face as he examines her.  He tells her he’ll be right back and the door slides closed behind him. She closes her eyes and leans back against the wall.  Her head is throbbing. She brings her fingers to trace her swollen lip and wishes she had some water to rinse the copper taste out of her mouth.  She allows her eyes to close and takes deep breathes to calm herself.   

The door opens after a few minutes and she jerks up only to be met with Kane’s concerned gaze.

“Clarke wanted me to give you this.” He says, a dark green blanket in his hand.  She recognizes it as what Clarke covered her with the first night she was here. She nods and reaches out for it.

“I am sorry.  I know you have no reason to return to your village and tell your people we mean no harm, but not all of us mean you harm.”  He says sincerely.  He’s one of the good ones.  He hands her a cup of water and she nods thankfully as this.  She brings the cup to her chapped lips and drinks greedily.  

“You will get to return to your people, I will make sure of that.” Kane promises as he offers another apologetic smile. He looks like he wants to say more but he offers her a “goodnight” and leaves, promising to return in the morning.

The blanket is soft against her skin and she hopes Clarke won’t be upset if she gets blood on it. She breathes in the scent and allows herself to grip it tightly before sleep takes over.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I know I promised I'd update on Wednesday and it is currently Saturday. I am a dirty liar and I apologize for it.
> 
> Thank you all again for the positive feedback. I really do appreciate the comments and kudos. It warms my heart. :)
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this!


	4. A Favor

A sleepy looking Octavia opens the door, squinting in annoyance at Clarke. She’s about to scold the late night visitor when she notices Clarke’s eyes are swollen and red; she’s been crying.

“Hey, are you okay?” Octavia asks softly, a little more aware now.

“They hurt her.” Her lip quivers as she says it but she refuses more tears to fall.

Kane had knocked on her door and explained he walked in on the council interrogating Lexa. He gave Clarke his word that she’ll be okay, that she’s under his protection now. Clarke asked to see her, begged even but he refused, saying her mom wouldn’t be happy with him if he allowed that. He told her he can give the grounder a message, if she’d like. She’d ran and grabbed her favorite blanket, the one her dad gave her and handed it to him. She knew how cold and unwelcoming those cells were.

“What are you talking about?” Octavia asks, clearing the way for Clarke to come inside. She sits on the couch with her head in her hands.

“Octavia, what the hell-“ An annoyed and very shirtless Bellamy Blake walks out of his room. His annoyance completely drains when he sees Clarke sitting on the couch.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, concern laced in his voice. He walks over, grabbing his canteen from their kitchen table and handing it to Clarke. She takes a sip and makes a disgusted face. Alcohol. Whiskey, to be exact and Clarke wonders what Bellamy traded to get his hands on some of this. She takes another sip, feeling the liquor burn down her throat. She’s never seen the appeal in it but it calms her now. She goes to take another sip but Octavia catches her arm.

“Why don’t you slow it down there,” she says kindly and Clarke doesn’t think she’s ever heard Octavia’s voice that soft.

“So, what’s up?” Bellamy asks, taking a seat next to her. He throws his arm around the back of the couch and waits for her to respond.

“The grounders killed some of our people and took two more. The council came and took her away.”

“Took her away? Took her where?” Octavia asks. She’s not naïve, not by any means, but it isn’t until Bellamy clears his throat that the look of realization crosses her face. Her lips form an ‘o’ shape and she looks at Clarke apologetically.

“That’s not right,” Octavia offers as Clarke takes a long swig. She wonders what’s happening to Lexa right now. She clenches her jaw at the thought of her mother being in the room as Lexa’s being – well, she doesn’t let her mind go there. She doesn’t want to imagine it, Lexa beaten and bruised.

It’s easier to concentrate on the burn in her throat than it is to think about Lexa lying in a cell, bleeding.

“How can we help?” Bellamy asks, leaning forward and reaching for the canteen. Clarke hands it to him and he takes a sip, offering it to Octavia. She looks at him with surprise before grabbing it quickly, just in case he reconsiders, and taking a swig. 

“I need to get in there. I need to see her, talk to her.” She turns to face Bellamy, eyes pleading. He clears his throat and runs a hand through his hair.  Before she was floated, Bellamy promised their mother he'd keep them out of trouble.  Helping Clarke sounds the opposite of keeping out of trouble.  

He owes her nothing, she’s well aware of that but for some reason she trusts the Blakes.  She'd even go as far as saying she considers them friends of sorts. 

“Finn’s on guard tonight. I think he could be persuaded to let you in.” He says simply and Clarke appreciates it. No beating around the bush, no asking for favors in return. He stands up and goes into his room.

“Can I ask you something?” Octavia asks curiously after taking a drink and offering it back to Clarke.

“Sure. Anything.”

“Why do you care? You’ve known her for a couple days and yet…” It’s a valid question, one she’s not sure the answer to.

She’s a person. She’s human. She deserves better treatment than the council is giving her. But she’s also Lexa and Clarke’s not sure what that means. In reality, she knows nothing about her.

All she knows is that she likes the way Lexa holds her hand.

“There’s something about her.” Clarke answers, shrugging away from Octavia’s gaze. The answer doesn’t seem to satisfy the girl but she’s saved from further explanation when Bellamy returns, wearing a grey long sleeve and dark pants.

“Come on then.” He motions to Clarke. She stands and attempts to find her footing. Bellamy can’t help but chuckle as he watches her sway slightly.

“Lightweight,” he mutters under his breath before turning to face Octavia, “Maybe you should stay here, O.”

“No way.” Octavia’s walking to the door before he can further protest. He rolls his eyes but offers Clarke an arm as they follow after the younger girl.

././././././././././././././././././././././

Sure enough, when they reach the guard’s booth, Finn’s inside. He’s not alone though. He’s joined by an attractive woman with dark hair and dark eyes. Raven, Clarke recognizes her as, an engineer on the ark. Bellamy clears his throat and the two break away. Finn looks panicked before relief washes over him.

“Holy shit. You almost gave me a heart attack. Thought you were my superior.” He states, grabbing his chest dramatically before peaking his head out of the door. He looks around before grinning and offering Bellamy a hand.

“You look like shit.” Raven says, eyeing Clarke. She should be offended but she rolls her eyes at the comment, that's so Raven.

“I need a favor.” Bellamy ignores the mechanic and looks at Finn.

“Sure, anything for you man.” Finn nods.

“I need you to take us to the grounder. I know she’s in here somewhere.” Bellamy says quietly. It's asking a lot, he knows. Finn could be punished for this, kicked off the guard, maybe even killed. 

“I – uh. I don’t know, man. Abby Griffin herself came here and told me not to let anyone but the council see her.” Finn says but when his eyes fall on Clarke's red, swollen eyes he can't find it in himself to say no.

“Finn, please. I need to see her.” Clarke speaks up now, her voice a strangled whisper.  She ignores the questioning look on Raven’s face and looks directly into Finn's dark eyes. He looks from her to Bellamy and then nods quickly.

Much to Raven’s dislike he’s always had a weakness for pretty blondes.

“This way.” He says after he grabs a keycard from the guard’s booth. He leads them down the hall and stops at the cell door labeled 24.

“We’ll wait out here.” Octavia says before Bellamy and the rest of the gang have a chance to enter the room. Finn looks like he wants to protest but nods and hands Clarke the keycard. Clarke takes a deep breath, worried about what she might find when she opens the door. Worried she might not be able to look at her mom the same way. Though, she supposes their relationship hasn’t been the same since she allowed her father to die.

She swipes the keycard and the door slides open.

“Lexa.” Clarke’s eyes are wide as she takes in the sleeping form. The lights flicker on as a result of her movement. As she nears the cot, she notices the nasty cut on Lexa’s cheek. Jaha’s ring. She has to clench her jaw shut to keep from screaming. She sees Lexa shift slightly and blink a couple times, squinting at the lights.

“Clarke?” Her eyes widen in surprise. She pushes herself up and groans when the pain in her head is still present. There’s a bruise starting to form above her eye and there’s a deep cut along her jaw.

Clarke tries to tell herself it’s a bad idea but before her mind can register it, she’s walking towards Lexa and throwing her arms around the girl’s figure. She snakes her arms around Lexa’s waist and buries her head in her shoulder, allowing the tears to stream down her cheeks. Lexa stiffens at the sudden contact before softening. She listens to the girl’s quiet cries and bravely reaches up to run her fingers through Clarke’s golden locks. She relishes in the feeling of having another human being so close.  

She hasn't felt warmth like this in years. 

“I’m so sorry they did this to you. I tried to stop it. I really did, I begged my mom. I told her it isn’t right. And it’s not. It’s not right.” Clarke whimpers, her head still buried in Lexa’s shoulder. She should find her pathetic, weak. That’s what this unnecessary display of emotion should be. But she can’t find it in her to push the girl away, she can’t find it in her to think any less of her.

“Chon yu bilaik?” Lexa asks and finally Clarke looks up. Her cheeks are wet with tears and it appears as if crying has only made her eyes bluer. Lexa lifts a hand to wipe her cheek. She wants to tell her not to cry, not to be sad for her. She wants to tell Clarke she’s felt worse pain, pain Clarke couldn’t even imagine. She wants to tell her the worst scars are the ones no one can see. She’s so enthralled by this girl - this girl who cares for her safety so much, who shed tears over her safety, who has shown her nothing but kindness.

“What does that mean?” And Lexa should look at her in confusion, should act like she doesn’t understand. She should shake her head at Clarke’s question and ignore it. Maybe it’s the dull pain in her head, or maybe it’s the soreness of her body, or maybe it’s her youth but she leans back, resting her head on the wall, and watches the blonde.

“Who are you?” It comes out a whisper and the words sound foreign in her mouth. It’s been weeks since she’s spoken English but she knows the words are correct. Clarke’s eyes widen and she searches Lexa’s face for an answer.

“You speak English.” It’s more a statement then a question and Lexa nods in response. Clarke looks at her skeptically. It doesn’t catch her off guard. Not really. From Lexa’s curious gazes during their conversations and her perfectly timed nods, Clarke considered Lexa having some knowledge of the English language. She’s more surprised at the softness in Lexa’s voice and the genuine curiosity.

“And you always have.” It all feels very real now, knowing every bit of information she’s shared with Lexa has been understood. There’s something about Lexa understanding that makes Clarke’s arms around her waist feel more intimate and she has to pull away, placing her arms in her lap. She fights the need to apologize.

Lexa misses the contact but doesn’t react. Clarke’s eyes are trained across the room, looking at the wall. She looks deep in thought but she doesn’t seem angry.

“I apologize. I couldn’t reveal myself to someone I didn’t deem trustworthy.” She states apologetically. She doesn’t know why she’s apologizing. Sure, she needs Clarke to get out of here but a commander doesn't apologize.

“You trust me?” Clarke asks, turning back to Lexa, a small smile playing at her lips. It’s a loaded question. Lexa doesn’t trust anyone with the exception of Indra and Lincoln, one being her second in command and the other being a lifelong friend. But she revealed herself to Clarke, so a part of her must trust this girl, at least to an extent.

She nods in response.

There’s still blood caked on Lexa’s forehead and cheek. Her lip is swollen and she’s going to have a slight black eye, Clarke can tell. She stands and ignores the concerned look that colors Lexa’s face. She’ll be right back, she reassures the grounder. She leaves the room, grabbing a clean bucket from the janitor’s office and fills it with cold water. She grabs a rag and returns, sitting close to Lexa on the bed. She makes sure their thighs are touching and she thinks she’s being subtle about it but the smile on Lexa’s face indicates she’s aware of the blonde’s actions.

“Can I?” Clarke asks, dipping the rag into water and wringing it out. Lexa nods and Clarke concentrates on gently wiping the red off Lexa’s face. She apologizes every time Lexa winches. Lexa watches the concentrated look on Clarke’s face as she pulls her lip into her mouth. She tries not to focus on Clarke’s tongue as it darts out to wet her lips. She needs to distract herself from Clarke’s face. She needs to think of anything else. Because right now, with her eyebrows scrunched together and her lip pulled into her mouth, she looks like a mistake Lexa cannot afford to make.

“Did your cell look like this?” She asks, remembering Clarke mentioned being imprisoned. She doesn’t want Clarke to feel uncomfortable but her curiosity gets the best of her.

“Exactly like this. Number 72.” She states, her eyes trained on Lexa’s cheek.

“Why?” This stops Clarke and she looks into Lexa’s eyes. She’s only inches away and she has to lean back. She forces herself to keep her eyes on Lexa’s and no lower.

“Treason.” The blonde states and Lexa’s eyebrows shoot up.

“Treason?”

Clarke chuckles at the way Lexa’s eyes widen and her mouth drops. It might be the most demonstrative display of emotion she’s seen from the grounder.

“Would you like to hear the story?” Clarke asks. It’s a story she hasn’t told anyone before. It’s a touchy subject, one she doesn’t allow herself to think about often. But when Lexa nods she sighs, throwing the blood soaked rag back into the bucket. She leans against the wall and pats the spot next to her. Lexa shifts, thigh against thigh, knee against knee, ankle against ankle.

“We all knew the ark had a limited supply of oxygen, we just didn’t know when it would end.” Clarke starts, unsure where to begin. “My dad was an engineer. He found out about it and told the council. They forbade him from telling anyone on the ark. One night, I walked in on him filming a video of himself exposing the problem. He thought the people had a right to know.” She pauses, looking over at Lexa who is watching her intently.

“My mom didn’t trust him to keep quiet.” She remembers that day very well. The guards bursting in and grabbing him by the arms. She screamed and screamed but they held her back as they carried him away.

Lexa’s fingers touching hers bring her back to present day. She flips her palm up, allowing Lexa to intertwine their fingers. It’s a small gesture but it offers her comfort.

“So, they floated him. She let him die.”

“I’m sorry.” Lexa whispers and Clarke shrugs. She can’t allow herself to go there, she can’t allow herself to dwell anymore. She’s forgiven her mother, she reminds herself.

There’s a sort of understanding in Lexa's tone and Clarke wonders why that is.

Lexa knows being a leader means making hard decisions, decisions you never thought you’d need to make. It means sacrifice. And she wonders if she’d sacrifice to life of her beloved for the lives of her people. She let her father’s death go without justice. She didn’t attack when the ice nation took her father, nor did she attack when they took her brother. She let them die, something her mother could never forgive.

“Family first,” Her mother would always say with the kindest smile. She taught Lexa love and she loved, my god did she love, until guardsmen showed up at her house.

And then she could love no more.

She squeezes Clarke’s fingers gently, willing her to go on.

“I told him I’d tell everyone. And I did. I played the video on the ark-wide channel. That’s why I got arrested. I got really lucky that they didn’t float me. Once it was done, they couldn’t just kill me. The people were outraged; they would have revolted had they killed me. But instead of population control, they brought the ark to the ground. And here we are today.”

“I’m glad you’re here.” It comes out quickly, a rush of words and Lexa looks down, ashamed of even thinking such things.

“Are you?” Clarke asks incredulously.

“Not your people, just you.” Lexa clarifies. She probably shouldn’t say things like that. She shouldn't be that honest.  She shouldn’t allow herself the pleasure of holding Clarke’s hand or having conversation with her. She shouldn’t allow herself to feel any fondness for the girl, or any more for that matter. In a few days they’ll be on opposite ends of the battlefield, if that’s what it comes to. And she won’t be able to spare any lives, not even Clarke’s if that’s what her people demand.

“What’s going to happen with all this?” Clarke asks and for a second Lexa thinks she means them, but she comes to her senses. Clarke means their people. What’s going to happen with their people.

“I don’t know.” She answers truthfully.

“Jaha is not a strong leader. And your council, I am not fond of them with the exception of Kane.”

“He’s a good man.” Clarke agrees.

“If you hope for a truce, it will not come with me here, nor will it come with Jaha in command.” She says it with confidence and it looks like Clarke is about to ask her how she can be so sure of that, but decides against it.

“I know you don’t have any reason to believe we’re a good people. But the mistakes of one man don’t define the intentions of all the people. Lexa, I know these people and I know that we can do better than this.”

“Jus drain. Jus daun.” It comes out a lot colder than she intends it to but there is no other way to say it. Blood must have blood. It’s why she’s had to kill thousands, because that is what her people demand. She wonders who will have her blood one day. She owes it to many people.

“What does that mean?”

“Blood must have blood.” She answers, “It’s something my live by. You kill one of ours and we kill one of yours. You capture one of us, we capture one of yours.”

“An eye for an eye.”

“This is tradition for my people. We killed those two guards because some time ago you killed two of our scouts.”

“You ever hear the saying, ‘An eye for an eye and the whole world goes blind?’” Clarke muses. She’s not exactly a history buff, that’s more so Bellamy’s field than hers but she remembers this quote sticking out.

“Gandhi, I believe it was? I wasn’t sure we were going to engage in philosophical discussion or I would have prepared a sound argument.” Clarke can’t help but smile at Lexa’s attempt at humor. Who knew that grounders could joke? She appreciates it and even allows a laugh to escape her lips.

Lexa thinks it's the most wonderful thing. She hopes she will hear it again.

“You need to help me escape, for this bloodshed will have no end until I am returned to my people.”

“Why do they want you back so bad? Who are you?” Clarke asks her skeptically. Why would the grounders start a war over one life? Would the council start a war over one missing girl?

“Every life is valuable, Clarke.”

She says it with such conviction. And Clarke feels the weight behind her words. It is. Every single life. She has so many questions swirling in her head, now that she knows the grounder will respond.

She wants to ask about her family and if she has one. She wants to ask about what she does for fun and if she has friends. She wants to ask about how she grew up and if the Earth will change them all.  

But when she looks over at Lexa and sees her swollen jaw and her bruised face, she decides the girl has had enough of questioning tonight. Clarke feels her eye lids droop and she find herself leaning her head on Lexa’s shoulder. She closes her eyes, hand still holding Lexa’s. Sure, she’s in a cell but she feels content.

She thinks the months she spent in here would have been a lot better had Lexa been here with her.

She swears she feels Lexa press her lips to her hair before the girl leans her head on Clarke’s.

She swears, but it could just be the whiskey.

././././././././././././././././././././././././

She wakes up to the sound of the door sliding open. She’s not fast enough. She doesn’t open her eyes fast enough, she doesn’t scoot away from Lexa fast enough. And there is Kane, standing in the doorway with a tray of food, eyes wide. His mouth opens and closes and he pauses before coming in. She’s can’t be sure of the thoughts that cross his mind.

“I brought breakfast.” He says, clearing his throat. His eyes scan the two girls and land on their hands. Clarke lets go of Lexa’s hand and pokes her thigh. The girl groans and slowly opens her eyes. She notices Kane right away and sits up straighter, eying him suspiciously. The last thing she wants is for Clarke to face repercussions for seeing her.

“Your mom will be coming here later today, so I suggest you not be here when she arrives.” He places the tray at the edge of the bed and says nothing more, leaving the two of them behind. Relief washes over Clarke upon realizing he won’t be telling Abby anything.

“I’ll be back tonight, okay?” Clarke states, getting up and heading towards the door. Lexa nods, her face dropping before it goes blank. Clarke sees right through the façade and understands her disappointment.

“Hey,” She says, coming to sit at the edge of the bed, “I won’t leave you here alone, I promise. I’ll be back in a few hours.” She grabs Lexa’s hand easily, it almost comes naturally at this point, and squeezes it gently before leaving.

She doesn't like being left alone with her thoughts.  She doesn't like having to think about what happens when they leave the sky people's camp.  She doesn't like having to think about Clarke's fate.  

She knows her time in the cell will come to a close shortly but she can't even begin to imagine how Clarke must have felt when she was here.  When she didn't have the promise of tomorrow, when she had no promise of freedom.  She thinks this kind of silence can drive a person crazy.   

It's hours before the door slides open and to her surprise Octavia is grinning, sticks in hand.  She allows her face to fall for just a second before she raises a brow at Octavia, not seeing much room for sparring.

“Damn. These rooms are smaller than I remembered.” The sky girl frowns, “There goes our fight.” She looks legitimately disappointed and Lexa admires her drive. It’s a good quality in a warrior. Octavia shrugs and then settles down, sitting cross-legged on the floor. Lexa appreciates her presence.

“I wish you spoke English,” she huffs before remembering that Lexa nodded to her proposition of training,

“Wait, you understand me. I know you do. When I asked you to train me, you agreed.”

Lexa stares at her blankly.

She’s glad Clarke hasn’t said anything to anyone but this Octavia girl isn’t stupid.

“Gonplei. That’s fight, right?” Lexa caves and nods, impressed at the girl’s memory.

Octavia asks questions for what seems like hours but Lexa can’t find it in her to be annoyed. She’s a commander not a schoolteacher, but Octavia is a quick learner. She picks up on the language and is able to say several short phrases. It intrigues Lexa, this girl’s desire to learn Trigedasleng.

They hear the click of the keycard and Octavia looks worried for a split second before they see Bellamy poke his head through the door. 

“Dammit, Octavia. I thought I told you to stay out of trouble.” He says, rolling his eyes at the sight of his sister sitting in the cell with the grounder.  He's not concerned about Lexa, though he feels he should be.  It might be foolish but he believes his own people would quicker harm Octavia than Lexa would. 

“And I told you that you can’t control me.” She says sweetly before continuing, “I wanted to keep her company.”

“Two more men have gone missing,” He states, biting the inside of his lip. It can only mean one thing for Lexa and they all know it. "Clarke's fighting for you as we speak."

She doesn't know why but those words make her shiver.  She'd not concerned about the council, nor is she concerned about the pain.  But the thought of a sky person, and not just any sky person, Clarke fighting to keep her out of their hands, now that's something.

That's hope.  

“Uh, here. I brought you this. It’s nothing but it kept me sane for a little while. I would make up all these stupid games with it.” Bellamy says fumbling over his words and throwing her a small red ball. She catches it with one hand and throws it against the wall. It bounces back up into her palm and she nods at him in gratitude. It’s a kind gesture, one she appreciates.

Clarke cleaned her wounds and showed her tenderness, Octavia came just to keep her company, and now Bellamy is giving her something to calm her mind.  Maybe there's some sort of understanding amongst prisoners, a of bond formed. 

“Mochof.” She says it and she means it.  She sees good in these people. 

“That means thank you.” Octavia explains grinning as the commander nods in approval. She’d be a worthy second. Under Indra or Lincoln, she’d learn a lot and she’d become a hell of a warrior.

“Yeah, no problem. Sorry I don’t have anything else. I wanted to bring you art supplies but uh, O and I are kind of broke.” He shrugs.

He’s a good man, a little arrogant at times, but that's something she can look past. 

“Thank you, Bellamy. I appreciate it.”

Their eyes go wide for a split second before Octavia grins. They risked their freedom, freedom they just recently obtained, to offer her comfort and that's a debt she'll one day repay.

“You owe me! I won.” Octavia's laughing now and throwing her hands in the air, “I knew it!”

“God dammit. There go my berries tonight.”

././././././././././././././././././././././././

Finn’s taken a liking to her. He jokes easily with her and lets her in without question. He could ask why she cares about the grounder, he could question her intentions but he doesn’t. She appreciates that. They walk in silence to Lexa’s cell and before she has a chance to open the door, Finn grabs her arm.

“They took her earlier. I thought you should know before you go in there.” He lets go then, and walks away. She feels tears stinging her eyes and she quickly swipes the card. Her mother lied. She swore they wouldn’t do it again. She looked into Clarke’s eyes early this afternoon and promised Lexa’s further safety all while knowing they’d take her again.

She feels the anger course through her body before it drains completely at the sight of Lexa on the floor. There are spots of blood coloring the concrete and Clarke quickly drops to her knees in front of her.

“They don’t know how to land a punch,” Lexa jokes for the blonde's benefit, grimacing as Clarke helps her to a sitting position.  From the way Lexa grabs her ribs and her labored breathing Clarke assumes her ribs are broken. She reaches out to touch Lexa's side but she flinches away before Clarke's finger reach their destination.     

“Come on,” Clarke says, gently hoisting Lexa up to her feet and leading her to the cot. She sits with her back against the wall and with her hands on Lexa's back, helps her lie down, allowing the grounder to place her head in her lap. Clarke runs her fingers through Lexa’s brown locks and examines the girl’s face.

Soft fingers trace her jaw and cheek and Lexa finds herself closing her eyes, trying to memorize the feeling of Clarke’s fingers against her skin. It’s okay to do this, she reminds herself. She’s only doing it to gain the girl’s trust. She’s just playing a part. She’s not the commander of the grounders right now, she’s just Lexa, just a girl captured by the Sky people. She reaches for Clarke’s free hand and holds it tightly, drawing circular patterns into the soft skin with her thumb. She wants this moment, needs this moment.

Clarke’s hand is softer than any she’s ever felt. It’s not a warrior’s hand, it’s a woman’s hand.

“We’re leaving tomorrow.” Clarke states, eyes closed. She shouldn’t be aiding a prisoner. She shouldn’t be aiding a grounder. If Jaha finds out, he’ll punish her and not even her mother will be able to stop it.

“Who?”

“Me, you, Bellamy and Octavia.”

Indra would be first in line to slit their throats, followed closely by the rest of Ton DC.  She could provide them with immunity, give them a chance to earn the respect of her people.  Or, she could use them as leverage.  She's seen the way Abby watches her daughter.  The woman is ruled by emotion and she'd agree to any terms for the safe return of her daughter. Clarke would have to suffer.  She'd have to be beaten and bruised and dangled in front of her people, half alive.  And then, if Jaha refused to submit to the commander, Clarke would be killed.  It's not her preferred plan of action.  Looking up at Clarke, she'd not sure she'd be able to see her golden hair doused red.  

“How do you plan on pulling this off?”

“You think I’ve just been standing idly by as you’ve gotten the shit kicked out of you? Finn is on guard tomorrow and he’ll make sure we escape unseen. Raven, a friend of ours, is a mechanic. She’ll turn off the electric fence so we can sneak through. Bellamy won’t let us go alone in the middle of the night and Octavia is pretty instant on tagging along.”

“And what is your purpose?”

Clarke's inclined to tell Lexa the whole truth. She's inclined to tell her that she's not ready to say goodbye, not yet. 

 

"I want to speak to your leader.” She says instead and it's a half truth.  This is an opportunity for the grounder's leader to see them as human, not as invaders and not as enemies. 

“What?”

“Someone needs to speak for my people. I don’t trust the council to make the right decisions. I figure if I can speak to your leader, I can bring back news.  I can tell them we mean no harm.  I can find a way to end the fighting."

They’re dangerous. They’re armed. With them they’ll bring death. They’re too much like the old world – the one before the war - the one filled with such weaponry.  It was those very weapons that almost ended life all those years ago.  

She’s not sure what Clarke has to offer. Her plea for peace is understandable and something Lexa also desires. Her only worry is that their way to peace may vary.

She doesn’t want sky people wandering around her lands, hunting her game, trotting through her villages with their automatic weapons, and frightening her children. She wants them gone, vanished from her sight.

And then, only then will they have peace.

“The commander will give you an audience.”

Clarke nods and starts humming, trying to keep her mind off having to speak to the grounder's commander alone. She hopes Lexa will join her.  

As commander, Lexa will listen to what Clarke has to say for her people.  And as commander, not as Lexa, will she decide Clarke's fate.  

She falls asleep with Clarke's fingers in her hair. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I apologize for the wait.
> 
> I would just like to say that I am really, really grateful for all the comments and kudos. Your kind words never cease to make my day. 
> 
> Next chapter will be out sometime this week since I'm on spring break for the week! :) Expect that before Friday, I promise!


	5. Heda

She’s lying on her cot, bouncing the ball off the wall when the door slides open. She quickly sits up, expecting to find Clarke but is instead met by a boy with long dark hair.

“Hey, uh- you must be Lexa. I’m Finn, friend of Clarke’s,” He explains. He’s wearing a guard’s uniform and Lexa eyes him cautiously.

He follows her gaze as it drifts to his clothing and he grins, “Oh, yeah. Don’t worry; this isn’t some sort of ploy to get you caught. Clarke got caught up at dinner with her mom. I’m going to bring you to them.”

When she doesn’t move from her sitting position, he peaks his head out the door.

“Come on, we have to hurry. The council are scheduled to pay you a visit in an hour and you have to be long gone by then.”

She doesn’t have a choice, not really. She remembers Clarke mentioning a ‘Finn’ but Clarke also said she’ll be the one to escort her out.

“Umm, okay. Clarke was locked up in cell 72. Her father’s dead. Uhh, Bellamy and Octavia are siblings. Uh-“ He was racking his brain for more information Lexa might know when the girl stands, nodding. He throws her a jacket with a hood and she pulls it over her hair. She stuffs the ball into the jacket pocket and grabs Clarke's blanket from the bed.

He leads her through the ark stopping at a door identical to others. She misses the variation of the outside world.

“Don’t let anyone hurt her, okay?” He turns to her. His eyes are large and honest and hopeful. 

And Lexa finds herself wondering if Clarke has the same effect on everyone. All the children on the ark, Bellamy, Finn, Kane, Octavia, they trust her.  They see something in her that maybe she doesn't see herself and Lexa understands for she sees it too. 

“Please.” He says again when she doesn’t respond and she nods. 

It’s not a promise she can make. But as the door slides open and she sees golden hair and a smile to match, maybe it’s a promise she'll have no choice but to keep.

“Lexa, I hope you didn’t give Finn too much trouble.” Relief washes over her quickly as the girl teases.

“None at all.” He winks at her and then turns to Clarke, his face turning serious, “Good luck. May we meet again.”

He steps up then and wraps his arms around Clarke's shoulders, pulling her in for a tight hug before stepping away and waving them off.

Lexa finds herself wishing it was her arms wrapped around Clarke's neck.  She stops the scowl from forming at her lips. 

“Hi.” Clarke greets her when Finn rounds the hallway.

Lexa nods in response and almost reflexively reaches for Clarke’s hand. The sky girls smiles at her and as Lexa looks at their intertwined fingers, she wants to cry.

She’s hasn't seen kindness like Clarke's for too long, it feels almost foreign to her.  Clarke has no reason to help her, she's never had a reason to help her.  If the sky people found out, the repercussions faced could be fatal.  She could be tried for treason and killed. No matter the people, helping a prisoner escape is traitorous.   

And Lexa vows for that not to happen, even though she shouldn't.  

Lexa can't guarantee the safety of anyone, only the commander can. 

“Hey, it’ll be okay. We'll get you back home safe. I promise.” Clarke says reassuring her.

And Lexa feels guilt tugging her insides.

It's an odd feelings and she reminds herself her loyalties lie only with her people. 

Clarke pulls her in and Bellamy and Octavia are sitting on the couch, looking at them expectantly. Lexa watches Octavia’s eyes drift to their intertwined hands curiously before drifting back to her face. Bellamy has in his hands a gun and she quickly shakes her head.

“No. You can’t bring that to Ton Dc.”

“Ton DC? Like, Washington DC?” Clarke questions.

“That’s what it was called in the old world, yes. But that gun mustn’t come with us."

There's a finality in her words and Clarke knows Bellamy has lost the argument before it has even begun.  

“We need protection in the woods.” Bellamy argues, his eyes narrowing.  He trusts Clarke and Clarke seems to trust Lexa but there's something about her that makes him feel uneasy.  Octavia raves about her every chance she gets, praising her swordsman ship and her speed and Clarke seems just as infatuated with her.  It doesn't bother him, not per se, it just makes him wary.  

“I will guarantee you protection.” He looks at her skeptically and she understands his reasoning. Going into enemy territory without weapons isn’t something she’d personally wish to do either.

“Look, I know you’re a good fighter but going out in the middle of the night in the forest isn’t safe.” He reasons.

“The only threat in this forests is your people.” Lexa says it with teeth clenched and nostrils flaring. She doesn't appreciate being questioned.

“We’ll leave the guns.” Clarke speaks up, noticing the anger seething from Lexa.

Her calm demeanor cracked momentarily and Clarke wonders if it's all a facade.  She doesn’t like it. For a second there, Lexa almost looked, dare she say it, frightening.

She squeezes Lexa’s hand gently and Lexa’s shoulders fall. She visibly relaxes and turns to the blonde, nodding apologetically.

Bellamy stands and places the gun on the table before unhooking the pistol around his waist and throwing it there too.

"I hope you know what you're doing, princess."

And Clarke hopes to whatever entity there might or might not be, that she does. 

They’re putting their lives entirely in Lexa’s hands.

Outside of the ark, they’re at her mercy and their lives are hers to exploit at she wishes.

././././././././././././././././././

She’s surprised at how easily they slip through.

The ark should really up their security detail, seeing as 3 people are able to sneak out undetected. When Clarke throws a branch at the electric fence and nothing happens she goes to cross it but Lexa tugs her back and goes through first.

Lexa doesn’t miss the look Octavia gives her as she does so, nor does she miss Clarke's endearing gaze. And suddenly, she's thankful the darkness hides the redness of her cheeks. 

Against Lexa's better judgment, she walks towards Ton DC. She doesn’t like having to lead the enemy straight to the village, straight to her people. If she lets them return they’ll be able to lead their people straight to Ton DC.

She could run.  She could slip away from them and leave them lost in the dark.  It's a viable option.  They'd find their way back to camp in the morning.  Her leaving would only offer a short term solution.  The sky people would march further and further and eventually, they'd arrive at Ton Dc anyway.  

They walk for a couple hours and when Lexa determines they're halfway to Ton DC, she stops and builds a fire.  They're far away enough from both camps to not attract any attention and the fire will keep the night predators away.  

As the siblings start drifting away, Clarke and Lexa are left looking at the fire in front of them.

The people of Ton DC will not take lightly to the outsiders.  Indra will be harsh and she can imagine her general demanding their immediate death.  Lincoln will take to them, she knows that, especially Octavia. 

And then there's the task of introducing Clarke to the commander. 

They will arrive in Ton DC by dawn and this will end. She will send Clarke away and never hear from her again.  

She will show mercy, as Clarke has shown her, and let them leave.  She'll let their people vacate tree clan lands and move south into neutral territory.  

They won't live an easy life but at least they'll get a fair chance.   

Or, she could allow them to keep the land they have and form a truce of sorts as long as they demilitarize. She can’t see Jaha going for that deal. She can’t see any of them going for that deal. Once you achieve military might, once you achieve power, no one is willing to give that up.

Maybe she could let them stay as long as they keep the weapons within their walls.  But, how could she trust them to do that.  Even if she kept scouts along to river to survey everything the sky people do, she can't guarantee her people safety when she returns to Polis. 

Indra will argue to slaughter them all.  She will not stand for a threat this close to her village, not another one.  Ton DC faced the most destruction, the most casualties following the war at Mount Weather.  She can't leave them exposed to another threat. 

The sky people wouldn't put up much a fight, not really.  Sure, they have guns but they could be picked off one by one whenever they left the protection of their electric fence. She could starve them out.

But what of Clarke? And the siblings? Would she - could she spare them?

Would they want to be spared?

The light from the fire makes Clarke look warm and welcoming and there's a storm brewing in her eyes. They’re thoughtful and she’s biting the inside of her cheek no doubt preparing herself mentally for their arrival.

She's frightened that much Lexa can tell but she shows no sign of backing down.  And Lexa finds that to be extraordinary. 

Though the silence is comfortable, when Lexa remembers the finite time they have, she has to break it. She needs to hear Clarke's voice. It's lower than she'd thought it'd be and it's calming and there's a familiarity to it she can't explain. 

“What do you hope to achieve by talking to the commander?”

“Your people killed my people and my people killed your people. It's time to stop that, don't you think?"

If achieving peace was as simplistic as Clarke was making it out to be, the old world would still exist.  

“That’s a bit idealistic, don't you think?” Lexa challenges. 

 “I have to believe there’s good." Clarke sighs, running a hand through her hair. Her mom once told her she was naive and she wonders if Lexa would agree, "Do you believe people to be good?"

It’s an odd question and it catches Lexa off guard. She’s made choices that weren’t good, that weren’t pure. She’s not sure if there is a good. Maybe people aren’t good or just.

Maybe people are just people and maybe they do the best they know how.

And maybe it's dangerous to believe people can be more than just people.

“People blew up the earth. They started a nuclear war and almost ended the human race, almost ended life itself, over such trivial things. People have killed each other over less than land, Clarke. And they've been killing each other since the beginning of mankind. We do what we must to survive.”

“Like I said, you can't judge a people by the actions of a few individuals. People have learned from the past. Maybe this is humanity's chance to get it right.”

She knows how desperate her words sound, how pathetic.

“You believe that?”

“I choose to.”

"Why?"

"Because if people aren't inherently good, if they're selfish creatures and their only concern is their own well being, what's the point? I want to believe that there's good in the world, I have to."

And her words twist at Lexa’s insides. They make her stomach uneasy and they make her heart feel heavy.

“Clarke, this world is unkind to idealists.”

She felt her own idealism crushed. She felt her own childish hopefulness destroyed from the expectations that were set forth for her. Her desire to rule with a kind and giving heart was quickly dispelled and she quickly found out that she couldn't be the person she wanted to be.   

“I have seen injustice. My whole life on the ark was filled with it. I need to believe that there's something more than just killing. I need to believe there's something more than just survival.”

And she sounds so hopeful. She sounds so good and it breaks Lexa’s heart. She just wants to grab her hand and hold her and protect her from the harsh truths she will learn.

“I don’t know if you’ll find it on the ground, Clarke.” Lexa fights the tears stinging her eyes.

And she remembers when she was younger, when she just took over command. She remembers how quickly her resolve broke, how quickly she broke. First her father, then her brother, then her mother. She watched the world take them from her, one by one.

She watches Clarke scoot over, leaning into her. She snakes her arms around Lexa’s waist and rests her head on the grounder’s stomach. Lexa’s stiffens, foreign to the contact, before her arms are moving to pull Clarke in even closer.

She wants to ask what this is, what this means. Why Clarke is doing this. More importantly, she wants to know why she likes it and why she craves it and why the thought of Clarke pulling away is more frightening than any enemy she's ever faced.   

“Peace is the rational choice.” Clarke murmurs into her stomach.  Lexa closes her eyes and tries not to concentrate on Clarke's breath seeping through the thin cotton layer she wears.

She allows her fingers to trace circles on Clarke's bare arms.  Her skin is soft and free of scars and Lexa wants her hands all over it. 

“You’re assuming people are rational beings, which I assure you they are not.” Her answer is composed even when she is not. 

“Are you saying your commander is irrational?” Clarks asks, lifting her head off her stomach and Lexa almost whines at the loss of contact.  Clarke doesn't pull away though, she looks up, a playful look coloring her features.   

And only then does Lexa realize how close they are.  How all she would have to do is lean down, just a little, and she could press her lips to Clarke's.  The fire reflects off her eyes and Lexa swears she's never seen anyone so welcoming before.  

Lexa swallows hard before answering, “I suppose that is for you to decide.” 

./././././././././././././././././././././././././././

The wall is large and it’s mostly made of a multitude of metal structures - plane wings, rooftops.

Clarke hears noises of a village alive with people. She smells food, real food. She smells meat and Clarke feels her mouth water. Lexa let’s go of her hand, offering her a final squeeze before they step out into the clearing.

Clarke swears it feels like goodbye.

“Heda!” It just takes one and then they hear the cries of many. There are men and women standing on top of the wall, spears in hand, yelling the word over and over.

“What does that mean?” She hears Bellamy whisper to Octavia and Clarke. They both shrug their shoulders and look to Lexa, who ignores them, her eyes trained on the wall.

The walls are opening then and the village comes into view. There are houses and trees and children and it makes Clarke smile. This is all her people from the ark have ever wanted, something like this. A home. And Lexa has it.

There is, what Clarke thinks, to be the whole village waiting on the other side of the wall. Their heads are bowed in respect and Clarke wonders if they greet all their people as such.

At the forefront, stand a shorthaired woman and a dark-skinned man.

Until now, Lexa was the only grounder Clarke had laid eyes on but now she understands why they might frighten her people.

They look barbaric.

They look anything but welcoming with their dark clothing and paint over their eyes. They bare no smiles.

The large man stands with his arms crossed and his mouth pressed in a thin line. When his eyes fall on Lexa they soften and he runs toward them. The shorter woman eyes them coldly before following suit.

“Lexa.” The man greets her, offering an arm. She grabs it and he pulls her into a one-armed hug. She looks so small in his arms and Clarke wonders who he is to her.

His hands find Lexa's chin and he gently examines the bruises on her face. When the woman notices the cuts and bruises she growls and draws her sword, pointing it at the sky people.

Clarke swears she's about to slit their throats.  

"Plenty, Indra.” She hears Lexa say and the woman obliges without an argument, shielding her weapon quickly. Clarke swears Lexa sounds different, she sounds strong and her words come out as more of a command then a request. 

“Lincoln, sky kru taik em set din," Lexa instructs the man and he nods, dropping his hands from her face and turning to them. 

"Lexa?"  Clarke asks questioningly and Lexa hears the worry laced in her voice.  She sees the anxious looks on the faces of the sky people and she sighs. All she wants to do is reassure Clarke that she'll be safe, that she won't allow any harm to come to her, but she holds firm. 

“Go with Lincoln. Don’t worry, you’re safe. I will return shortly.” She promises and without a second glance she turns to follow Indra. 

She's afraid if she looks back at Clarke's fearful face, she'll change her mind. 

./././././././././././././././

The man Lexa called 'Lincoln' leads them through the village and Octavia seems immediately enthralled, falling in step with him and striking up a conversation. Clarke admires her for it. 

Bellamy hangs back and walks beside Clarke.  They earn many looks, some curious, some malicious, some filled with fear. The children are ushered away from them and a path is cleared.

She gets the feeling they're not welcome.

Bellamy doesn't say anything as they walk but Clarke can tell he's anxious.  His jaw is clenched and he's actively scanning every grounder that passes them by.

They stop when they reach a large area lined with tables and covered by awning - an outdoor dining area of sorts. Clarke swears she’s never seen so much food before. There’s an assortment of meats and berries and fruit.

They look at Lincoln expectantly and he motions to a stack of plates.  

Clarke takes as much as she can carry. 

Lincoln eats nothing and sits with his arms crossed, his face betraying nothing as he watches them carefully. She doesn’t think anyone on the ark would be fit enough to spar with him.

Clarke has so many questions but she's not sure they're allowed to speak. 

Finally he leans forward and asks, ”What brings you here?”

His voice is a lot softer than she expected and there's no malice to it.  It's calm and it's quiet and it's no wonder Octavia feels a pull towards him.

“We wanted to be sure Lexa got back safe. It’s dangerous to travel through these woods alone at night.” Bellamy says between bites.  At this answer Lincoln looks somewhat amused and Clarke wonders why that is. 

She doesn't doubt Lexa knows the forest well but at the end of the day, she's still just a girl. 

“And I want to talk to your leader.” Clarke adds, looking up to meet the man’s eyes. At this Lincoln raises a brow.

“The commander?” He asks cautiously. 

“You call him the commander?” Octavia asks.

“Her.” Lincoln corrects, his eyes landing on Octavia. She's devouring her food and he can't help but wonder where she fits it all. From the way the sky people are eating it's almost as if they've never seen real food.  

“That’s so badass.” She murmurs before tossing some grapes in her mouth.

Clarke tries to imagine the commander.  A woman who rules over the villages and armies. She's probably older, maybe her mother's age.  She imagines her to be ruthless and beautiful and strong, so strong.

"She's quiet the catch." Lincoln agrees and there's mirth in his voice.  Clarke feels like she's missing something.  

When they’re done eating and their stomachs are full, the woman with the scars on her face returns.

Clarke wonders how she got them and she wonders if Lexa has scars of her own.

She places a hand on Lincoln's shoulder and says something in a language foreign to Clarke.  She recognizes some words and wonders how their language came to be. She wonders if it's a dialect or if it's an evolved form of English. She doesn't ask.

The woman's words have bite and they seem to be in a disagreement before Lincoln rolls his eyes at her, shaking his head slightly. 

“You’re with me.” He says, pointing to Octavia and Bellamy.

A silence falls over them and Bellamy doesn't like the thought of being separated. 

“What for?” Octavia finally asks. She doesn’t want to question. She doesn’t know if it’s safe to question but there's something nonthreatening about Lincoln.  

“Indra tells me, Lexa said you’ll make a fine warrior one day.” Lincoln answers and there's a slight smile tugging at his lips.

At his words, Octavia grins, "Well, if Lexa says so."

“Indra will take you to the commander.” He turns to her and purses his lips.  It looks like he wants to say more but sighs and stands. 

Clarke swears the woman is ready to kill. She slowly feels dread spreading through her stomach. She feels her hands starting to sweat and tremble but she nods confidently. She knows she needs to look strong.  From the looks of the people here, they value strength and courage. 

“I’ll be okay.” She tells Bellamy and only after that does he allow himself to follow Lincoln and Octavia. She swears there’s a smirk on the dark-skinned woman’s face as she leads her to a rather large tent made of animal hide and skins.

There are two guards, twice her size, standing outside, no doubt a scare tactic.

“After you.” Indra says, pulling open the flap of the tent. She wants to ask the woman where Lexa is and if she's safe but this woman doesn't seem as open to questions as Lincoln. 

Clarke takes a deep breath and walks in. 

And there, across the way, sits a woman with long brown hair and intricate braids. She looks dangerous, deadly. Her face is smothered in black paint – war paint – Clarke realizes. She looks regal with her head held high and her gaze unwavering.

She's just a girl.

When their eyes meet, Clarke swears she sees something familiar in them. 

She almost doesn’t recognize her - almost - but when she does, Clarke freezes and all the confidence drains out of her body.

Her cotton clothing has been replaced by black armor with all sorts of belts and buckles. She’s wearing a shoulder plate and a red cape of sorts hangs from it.

She sits on a throne and Clarke can't decide if it's tree branches or bones that she sits on. 

For the first time in her life Clarke feels true fear. The hairs on the back of her neck stand and her legs are ready, her body is ready to make a run for it but she wills herself to stand straighter and raise her head higher. 

Clarke wants to look away from her eyes, wants to look away from the death she sees in them. She swears she’s never seen eyes more void of life than Lexa’s. She's not even sure if she can refer to this girl, this woman, in front of her as 'Lexa.'

The smile she’s come to know has vanished, replaced by a thin line.

She’s the embodiment of a warrior.

A Commander.

Clarke feels her body tremble, a nauseating feeling settling in her stomach.

“The ice nation sent scouts while you were away.” Indra saves her from having to say the first word and she never thought she'd be grateful for the woman. 

Clarke swears that Lexa growls at Indra’s statement. Her eyes turn cold and her jaw clenches. She looks animalistic almost. 

And Clarke swears this isn't Lexa.

“We apprehended them and are keeping them in the cell. They let slip that the ice queen sent them to keep tabs on you. They said they heard the rumors of a sky people.”

Clarke doubts they just let that 'slip.' 

Send both of them back, too merciful.

Send one of them back badly beaten and bruised, it sends a message but more will come. Send one back and the ice queen will have the pretense to start a war.

Send none back, more might appear but a message will be sent nevertheless. And in the case the ice queen accuses her of killing her scouts, she has no proof. 

She will not tolerate the ice queen’s advances nor will she tolerate her tactics. She’s more trouble then this alliance is worth. Their relations have always been cold, have always been strained but now that their common enemy has fallen, there's nothing holding her at bay.

The ice queen is greedy and she’s arrogant and she wishes to control the coalition. 12 clans, 12 leaders, and amongst those leaders one collation commander – Lexa.

And she will make sure that, as long as she lives, it stays that way. 

“Kill them both.” Lexa’s voice is even and Clarke swears she says it so easily, like she's not about to end the lives of two people.

"Sha, heda." Indra nods and leaves them.

Lexa is the commander. These are her people. She is their leader. Getting captured was a ploy.

It was all a ploy.

“Clarke of the sky people,” Lexa’s voice rings out. And it’s not the shy, quiet, confidence-lacking voice Clarke has heard before. It’s even and it carries through the room.

It demands respect.

“You’re the commander.” It's more of a statement than a question but she allows room for correction, as if she's waiting for Lexa to prove her wrong.

“Yes.”

Clarke looks deep in thought for a split second before her face turns serious. She needs to get it together.  She's here for a reason.  A commander is a commander be it Lexa or not. 

“I came to discuss the possibility of a truce between our two people.”

Lexa is impressed at how quickly she recovers. 

“Your people are invaders on Trikru territory."

“We can't change what has already happened. I can't change where my ship landed.”

“Your people are to leave my land."

It seems simple enough but Clarke knows they can't abandon the ark.  Providing hundreds of people with shelter would not be an easy feat.  All their medical supplies and equipment is at the ark and moving it is not an option. 

“We can help each other. We have medicine that you don’t. We have technology. We have guns.”

“Exactly.” Lexa's voice rises and Clarke has to will herself not to flinch at its fierceness. 

“I don’t understand.”

“You wouldn’t.” Her words carry a weight and she’s right, Clarke doesn’t understand.

"We cannot leave the ark."

“I want no guns on my land. If you surrender your weaponry, you may keep your ark.”

“We can’t leave ourselves vulnerable. We can’t just destroy all our weapons. The council will never go for that.”

And all Clarke wants to ask is what Lexa has against guns.  They're useful and they're a necessity here on Earth. Though, as she recalls, she has yet to see a grounder with a gun.  She wonders why that is.  She wonders if this post-apocalyptic society has yet to develop guns.  But Lexa's familiar with them, what they are and how to use them, so they can't be a novel concept. 

“Then you will leave.”

“And if we don’t?” Clarke's testing her. 

“Then the sky person will be a thing of the past."

And it hurts. It hurts to say it. And it hurts to see the look of pain cross Clarke’s face.

Commander first, she reminds herself. There is no room for weakness right now. Yet, when she looks at Clarke all she can see is the girl that woke up in her arms this morning, the girl that held her hand as they walked through the forest, the girl who cleaned her wounds. 

Clarke doesn’t for a second doubt Lexa's words to be true. She says it calmly, almost too calmly, as if killing an entire population of people doesn't phase her. 

"Lexa, please. I know we can find a way to live together." 

She's reaching out.  She's hoping the girl that tried teaching her how to start a fire is there, somewhere.  She's hoping the girl who clutched her blanket for dear life is there. 

"Commander." Lexa corrects her and she feels her heart scream as Clarke looks down but she continues, "You have heard my offer. You have showed me mercy and this is me showing you mercy. Once you leave Ton DC, your people have a week to either leave Trikru territory or turn in your weaponry. I expect you, and only, to return to Ton DC and deliver me news of your people's choice.  If anyone but you crosses north of the river, they will die." 

“I will pass the message along to the council, commander.” Clarke nods and turns to leave the tent while she still can. She feels defeated.  

She wants to fight and she wants to argue but she's well in over her head. She has to find Bellamy and Octavia and get out of here.

Lexa isn’t a friend and these people aren’t to be fought with. Maybe her mother was right to think them to be savages. She’s so stupid, so stupid to think Lexa was anything more than a savage.

“Wait.”

She hears Lexa call and the commander is gone. It’s the girl again, walking towards her.

It’s Lexa and Clarke wants to hug her, wants to ask her how she did that. How she disappeared for those couple of minutes.

“It’ll be dark before you can make it back to the ark. Stay tonight.”

There’s a promise in the proposition and Clarke tries not to read into it as Lexa reaches for her hand. Clarke lets her.

“Please stay tonight.” It’s breathy and if Lexa’s manipulating her, then god, let her be manipulated.

Just tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry I suck! I know, I know.
> 
> But how about that finale?  
> Now, that was heartbreaking. 
> 
> If you guys have any questions or want to bother me and persuade me to update quicker, feel free to message me at justmenotwe.tumblr.com
> 
> :)
> 
> As always thank you for the feedback, it honestly makes me day every time I read a comment.


	6. Better than Ever

As they walk through the village, people stare. They stare in awe, in admiration, and in what Clarke believes to be reverence.  They look at Lexa as though she’s a walking legend.

And Clarke wonders how someone so young became a God.  

Lexa allowed herself to be caught by the sky people in order to see how much of a threat they were, she got caught in order to judge their character.  It was a test. And they had failed. 

Jaha failed.

Her mother  failed.

If they had let her go, hell, if they hadn’t laid a hand on her, then maybe Lexa would have been more open to letting her people stay in the ark.

Lexa believes them to be dangerous, a threat to her people and Clarke thinks she might be right.

As they walk through Ton DC, Clarke understands why she wants them gone.  These people live peacefully in their wooden lodges and the concrete remains of buildings. They are at peace.    

There are children play fighting, there are people laughing, there are dogs and pigs and horses.

They live quiet but fulfilled lives. And all of it would change if her people came with their guns and with their ideals.  They would try to ‘fix’ everything.  They would try to impose their beliefs on these people. 

They would see them as inferior.

She wants to have faith in her people. She wants to say with certainty that no harm would come to Lexa’s people and that they could go on living their lives, that nothing would change, but she can’t. 

Lexa looks relaxed and she bows her head and smiles at the people passing by.  Her hand rests easily on her sword and she walks almost lazily.

She looks proud.

Lexa’s war paint forms three streaks down her face. They almost look like tears. And Clarke wonders where the tears came from.

When Lexa catches Clarke examining her carefully she tilts her head in question.

“The streaks,” Clarke motions to her face.

“They’re for my father, my brother, and my mother.” Her voice betrays so little emotion but her jaw clenches and Clarke knows better then to further enquire about them.

She doesn’t have to ask.

“Heda! Heda!” They hear from their right and look to see a young boy with light hair and dark eyes running towards them.

“Axel!” A woman yells, running behind him, a terrified look coloring her face.  He’s running at Lexa with open arms and then he leaps. Lexa’s ready for it and opens her arms, catching him easily.  She hoists him up and rests him against her hip.  The boy’s eyes go wide and he stares at her in wonder.

Clarke notices that silence spreads amongst the villagers.  People have stopped what they were doing to see the situation unfold. Their mouths hang open and their eyebrows shoot up.  They look at Lexa intently, hopefully, fearfully.

“Hello, Axel.” Lexa says with a smile tugging at her lips.

“My apologies, commander. I am so, so sorry. I just let him go for a second and-“ The woman sputters out, dropping on her knees in front of Lexa. The commander waves her off and turns back to the boy.

She’s scared, Clarke realizes. Why?  Why would this woman be afraid of a boy wanting to hug Lexa? What kind of commander is she?  Clarke saw firsthand how cold and demanding Lexa could be. Her voice didn't waiver when she told Indra to kill the guards and she didn't bat an eye as she threatened to slaughter all of Clarke's people. 

“How old are you, Axel?” The woman asks and her voice is softer than Clarke’s ever heard it. 

“Just finished my fourth year.” He answers proudly and puffs out his chest.  He’s looking to impress her and it makes Clarke smile.    

“You’re growing into a fine young man.” Lexa answers and the boy brings his hands up to his face, trying to cover his blush. He murmurs a ‘thank you’ and wraps his arms around Lexa’s neck, pressing his cheek against hers. 

He's soft and he's young and he's unbroken.  And Lexa wants nothing more than to guarantee he can stay that way as long as possible.  He reminds her of why she does what she does and who she does it for. 

“Would you like to watch me spar?”  He shoots up and nods eagerly, turning to his mom.

“Mom, can we please?”  His eyes pleading and Lexa offers her the woman a hand, helping her off her knees.  She bows her head and stutters before nodding.  Lexa sets Axel on the ground and offers him a hand.  He grabs it eagerly and then looks at Clarke.

"Hi, Axel. I'm Clarke."  She says, making sure her voice sounds as friendly as possible.  He looks a bit frightened of her and looks up at Lexa, eyes questioning.

"Clarke is a friend.  You'll like her."  The commander says and Axel nods before reaching out and offering her a hand.  She takes it and he grips her hand tightly, leading the way to the training grounds.

Lexa doesn't want to think about how much they look like a family, how in another life maybe they would have been.  And when she sees Clarke looking at her in her peripherals, she knows the sky girl is wondering the same. 

./././././././././././././././././././././

Octavia’s stick has been replaced with a sword, a real sword. Her light blue jacket has been abandoned and now she models a torn up black one. Her flowing hair has been braided in similarly intricate braids to Lexa’s.  She looks more like a grounder than a sky person.

Lincoln is circling her. He’s stripped down to a dark t-shirt and Clarke sees the sweat dripping down his neck.  Octavia’s shirt is soaked in the front and she’s sporting a dark bruise on her cheek. 

“Lincoln.”  Lexa calls and he turns to her automatically.  Octavia takes the opportunity to catch him off guard and kicks his feet out from under him.  He falls to his knees before her and she places the knife to his neck.

“Good.”  Lexa says, pleased with her performance, and Octavia’s eyes bulge out of her head with realization. 

“You’re- you.” She bows her head and Clarke tries to stifle a laugh.  She's never seen Octavia as someone for much respect for authority, at least on the ark.  She doesn't take too fondly to the council members.  

Lexa waves her off before turning to Lincoln, “You and me.”

He laughs as Lexa takes off her shoulder plate and unbuckles the sword on her back.  

“Last time we sparred we both ended up in the healer’s den.” 

“Let’s not have a repeat of that then,” she smirks as she draws her blade. 

She doesn’t want to underestimate Lexa but Lincoln is twice her size and he’s strong, so strong.  Maybe Lexa had the skill to beat everyone in the ark but with Lincoln, Lexa has no chance.

“Commander?”  Octavia asks, standing next to her and Clarke nods quickly, not taking her eyes off Lexa. She feels Octavia's gaze on her face.  She wants more of an explanation but Clarke shakes her head, "Later."  To her surprise, Octavia accepts that and nods, averting her sights to the match in front of them. 

"My boy is about to take down your girl." It's such a childish thing to say and Clarke has to refrain from rolling her eyes. Octavia calling Lexa 'her girl' makes Clarke's stomach flutter and she likes the sound of that a little more than she's willing to admit. 

"My girl is about to take down your boy." She counters, suddenly having full faith in Lexa. 

She wonders when, in the last couple hours, Lincoln became Octavia's boy. And she wonders how Bellamy feels about that.  He's sitting off by himself a couple feet away.  He smiles when he sees Clarke and waves.  She waves back before casting her sight back to Lexa and Lincoln.  

They face each other and bow before Lincoln quickly swings.  Lexa easily catches his blade with her own and kicks him in the gut.  He stumbles back momentarily and Clarke wonders how it’s possible for a body so small to have that much power.

Lincoln fakes left before delivering a blow to Lexa’s side and Clarke winces, remembering Lexa's broken ribs.  There’s a flash of pain on the commander’s face but as soon as it appears it’s gone. 

They dance and stride around each other and Clarke barely sees anything but the blur of two bodies and the clashing of metals.

She turns to see both Octavia and Bellamy starring at her in wonder.

She’s incredible.

Lexa backs away momentarily and offers him a smirk. It looks a lot like it’s over. And then she’s running towards him at full speed.  She fakes a swing and when he goes to deflect, she ducks and hits his thigh with the hilt of her sword before placing it to his neck.

A crowd has formed, no doubt to watch the commander in action. People are cheering and clapping and Octavia and Axel are the loudest of them all.  The commander then grins, takes a quick bow, and offers Lincoln an arm.

Clarke vows to never underestimate her power. 

“And that’s why she’s the commander.” Octavia says and she looks as captivated as them all, admiration clearly present in her voice.

“Octavia,” Lexa’s calling now and Octavia nearly trips over her feet running to her.

“Yes, Heda?”  She asks and earns an approving smile from Lexa.

“You and me.  Axel over there came for a show.”  The boy cheers happily as his mother looks on gratefully.

They face each other and bow. They’re in for a long day. Clarke knows Octavia will not go down without a fight.  It’ll take many bruises before she backs down.  She decides that Bellamy has the right idea and walks towards him.  

“Lexa’s the commander,” Clarke starts, sitting down next to the boy, who is twiddling a dagger in his fingers.

“Yeah, I figured that much.”  He answers, not taking his eyes of Lexa and Octavia.  She was smart and she was cunning and she was strong.  He kicks himself for not seeing it sooner.  The way she held her head up, the way she commanded a room, he should have known. 

“She wants us to leave and move south or to give up all our weapons.”

“And if we don’t?” He turns to her, eyes searching and when Clarke doesn’t answer, he nods in understanding. 

“Maybe we should give up our weapons.” He says after a while. Lincoln had been kind to them. He’d cleaned them up and offered them clothing. He’d told them about a day in their lives and to Bellamy, it sounded almost compelling. 

“What?” Clarke asks in disbelief at how easily Bellamy suggests it.

“They don’t live bad lives, Clarke. They train and they hunt and they’re able to put food on the table.” At the end of the day, he has to do what’s best for Octavia and he’s not sure a life of exile with the sky people is that option. Here she could train, maybe even under Lexa, and she could become strong.  The grounders could offer protection that the sky people simply couldn't.  It's not like they'd be missed anyway and it's not like they owe anything to the council. 

On the ark, they’re nobodies, criminals.  Here, they would be free. 

“The council won’t go for that.”

“Look at what we could have.” He says, waving his hands in the air.  And as Clarke looks around she sees a tightly knit community of people willing to fight for each other.  They all gathered to watch Lexa spar and they admire her.  They have food and they have water and they smile and they laugh. They have houses and they have little shops and Clarke wants it, she wants all of it. 

“Even if we gave up our guns, you think it would be that easy? That we could just assimilate?  That we could just become grounders?”

She can't see her mother running through the forest with a spear, nor can she see Chancellor Jaha relinquishing his power to Lexa. 

“What choice do we have?” He pauses, “Look, Clarke, the life we had on the ark is gone.  I think it’s time we begin to accept that.”

Clarke nods and looks away because he's starting to sound an awful lot like Lexa. 

./././././././././././././././././

As they sit around the fire and drink moonshine, Clarke can’t help but think about how normal this feels. She doesn’t feel like an outsider. She doesn’t feel like a sky person amongst grounders.

Octavia and Lincoln are sitting across from them, talking in hushed voices.  He’s got an arm draped around her shoulders and she’s leaning into him. He follows her every word.

Even Bellamy seems to be enjoying himself, finding the company of a slender woman.  He’s waving his arms animatedly and she’s smiling, shaking her head at his antics.

They look, dare Clarke admit it, happy.

“We are not the savages you think us to be.” Lexa quips from beside her, reading Clarke’s expression.

And Clarke’s not sure if it's the commander talking or the girl.

“This is nice.” Clarke says and she means it, she really means it. 

“My whole life, I’ve only known war. I don’t want these children to know war. I don’t want Axel to know war. It’s why I need your people to leave.”

Clarke nods.  She doesn’t want to argue about this.  She doesn’t want Lexa to disappear and the commander to return. She wants to enjoy this night for it could be the last night she’ll ever have with Lexa.

The thought doesn’t settle well in her stomach.  She doesn’t want to think of tomorrow. She doesn’t want to think of leaving. She looks around, eyeing Lexa’s tent.

“Why do you live in a tent?” She asks, seeing villagers retreat to their houses.  Lexa looks at her with amused confusion.

“You’re the commander.  Shouldn’t you have a palace or something?” She clarifies. 

At this Lexa chuckles and Clarke pats herself on the back for getting at least a slight laugh from Lexa. 

“This is not my home, Clarke. Polis is. That is where my quarters lie.” She stops and her smile fades, “As commander I control the armies.  There was a threat in the area, a war.”

There are so many questions running through Clarke’s head she’s not sure which to ask first.  What is Polis and where is it?  Though she doubts Lexa would disclose any information on the whereabouts of her people.  She wonders how many people answer to Lexa and she wonders how someone so young became the commander. 

“War?” Is what she settles on. 

97 years of draining her people. 97 years of committing unfathomable acts.  97 years and the Mountain Men didn’t deserve to live. They didn't deserve to survive, she has to remind herself. 

“There were people, similar to yours, technologically capable.  They captured my people and drained them of their blood, of their bone marrow. They turned them into monsters, into reapers. It took 97 years and 12 clans to finally bring down the mountain.”

Clarke expected Lexa to look proud of herself.  She expected the commander to smile at her accomplishments but Lexa doesn’t. She says what she says with a heavy heart and through clenched teeth. 

And Lexa’s eyes darken with a burden Clarke would rather not know.  She wonders how many lives the commander has taken.  She wonders how many lives the commander ended with the very sword she carries on her hip, and how many more with her bare hands. How many men has she sent to die?

“Tell me about the war.” 

“This is my home, Clarke.  These are my people and I will not hesitate to do anything in my power to protect them, even if it means killing yours.” Lexa deflects. It tumbles out of her mouth and she can’t look at Clarke as it does.

And suddenly Lexa looks exhausted, she looks tired. And Clarke bites her tongue, she doesn’t question any further.  She doesn’t want to exhaust her any further.

She wants to make it go away. She wants Lexa to smile again and she wants to hear her laugh.   

She takes the cup of moonshine from Lexa’s fingers and takes a long sip.  A little liquid courage never hurt anyone.  She swears Lexa smirks as she takes the cup back and finishes it.

“Perhaps we should take this conversation elsewhere.” Clarke says confidently, feeling the warmth spread through her body.

Her eyes drift to the tent and Lexa nods, standing and leading the way.  Clarke stands, ignoring the questioning looks she receives from Bellamy and Octavia, and follows Lexa into her tent.

She’s nervous.  She shouldn’t be nervous.  She’s fallen asleep with Lexa before.  Tonight shouldn't be different but it was. This was a bed and this was candles and this was the commander. 

“Bellamy and Octavia are staying with Lincoln. You can stay there if it is where you feel more comfortable.” She’s giving her a way out but Clarke shakes her head quickly, almost too quickly and Lexa smiles.

She hands Clarke long dark pants and a dark shirt. She wonders if the grounders ever wear bright colors.  She has yet to see that. Lexa turns around and begins to strip herself of her armor then clothing, giving Clarke the opportunity to change. She wants to look when she hears the clothing dropping to the floor but she refrains. 

And when Lexa turns around and Clarke sees her, she smiles. She looks young again. Her war paint is washed off and Clarke thinks she likes her better this way.

“What?” Clarke asks when Lexa’s eyes drift down her body, taking in her appearance.  She can’t ignore the lightness in her chest at the sight of Clarke in her clothing.

“I like you in my clothes.”  She answers quietly, before walking over to the bed and lying down on the far side, allowing Clarke to make her own decisions.

Clarke's heart almost stops at her confession.  Lexa tries to say it nonchalantly, she tries to make it seem like an offhanded comment but it's not.  It's serious and it's the most she's gotten from Lexa. 

Any hesitancy she held is washed away when she reminds herself that in the morning she departs for the Ark. She walks over quickly and settles herself facing Lexa.  

She’s beautiful.  And so, so young.

Lexa’s skin is clear and it looks soft and she longs to touch it.  She needs to touch it. She reaches out slowly, giving Lexa enough time to pull away, and places a hand on her cheek. Lexa’s eyes drift close and she inhales deeply.

And when she sees Clarke’s eyes land on her lips, she allows her own eyes to drift to Clarke’s lips.  She memorizes the light pink color and she etches every crease into her memory. 

And when Clarke’s fingers trace her lips, she catches her breath.   

Lexa's lips are soft under her fingertips and she wants to feel them.  She wants them on her lips and on her neck and burning into her skin. 

Lexa's looking at her as though her heart might stop if something doesn't shift between them. And Clarke's own heart is racing, soaring, as she leans in slowly and her eyes flutter shut when she feels their lips press together.

Lexa’s soft and she’s gentle and Clarke feels like she’s going to melt.  And maybe it’s the moonshine but she swears she’s never felt more careful hands tangle in her hair, she’s never felt more tender lips against hers.  She feels her heart quicken and she feels the warmness spreading through her body.  There’s no urgency to it, no haste. It feels like they have the rest of their days.  But they don’t because in the morning, Lexa will stay and Clarke will leave, and this will end.

And when Clarke realizes this she pushes into Lexa, pressing her body flush against hers and traces her lip with her tongue. 

Lexa’s never felt weaker in her life. She doesn’t push back. She doesn’t fight for dominance. She’s seen enough war. She’s fought enough battles.  She lets Clarke lead. And she lets Clarke in. 

As their lips move against each other Lexa feels herself slipping.  She feels herself falling.  And now she knows.  She knows why this is weakness.  She knows why men and women die for this. 

Why they kill for this.   

And when Clarke pulls away and her eyes are wide, Lexa swears she could drown in them.

She’s seen the ocean plenty of times but she’s never seen it like this.  Clarke eyes are searching for meaning, for a future. 

“I’ll take you to see the ocean one day,” comes out as a whisper and Clarke wonders if it’s a promise. She wonders if it’s something Lexa has the ability to promise.  There’s nothing in her voice that indicates she’s lying.  But this is Lexa speaking, not the commander. And they have different priorities. They have different obligations.

They have different loyalties.

“You deserve to see the ocean.”  Lexa says it like it’s the simplest thing in the world. Like there aren’t any barriers between them.  Like they don’t come from two different worlds, two different sides of the battlefield.

Right now, there are no sky people.  There are no grounders.  It’s just Clarke and it’s just Lexa.  And Clarke has never wanted anything more than to see the ocean with Lexa. 

Lexa's mother always told her everyone was deserving of love.  She promised her tenderness and love and happiness. Maybe feeling Clarke’s fingers on her skin, maybe feeling Clarke’s lips against hers, showing her gentleness she hasn’t felt in years, maybe this is what her mom promised. 

And then they came for her.

They took her away.  From her village, from her family, from her friends.  They trained her and they made her cold and they told her love was weakness. 

“Don’t go anywhere.”  Clarke says, seeing the distant look clouding Lexa's. And as soon as it appears, it’s gone. And the girl is looking at her in wonder.

“Who are you?”  She asks again. 

And when Clarke leans in and kisses her, Lexa wants nothing more than to spend the rest of her life finding out. 

./././././././././././././././

The sun is shining through the thin hides of Lexa’s tent and Clarke can’t admit how much she enjoys this. She can’t admit how she wants nothing more than to stay in bed with Lexa. 

She thinks she could live like this. She thinks she could wake up in Lexa’s arms every morning.  She could eat breakfast with Bellamy and Octavia and Lincoln.  She could train with them.  And she could walk through the village by Lexa’s side.  She could see the ocean.  She's seen it form the ark.  It's vast and mysterious and beautiful, oh so beautiful. 

She could have all of it. 

She could. 

It would be easy.  She could deliver the message to her people and return to Ton DC. Maybe Bellamy is right. Maybe the old world is gone and maybe all the preconceived notions they held are gone, maybe her people need to adapt.

Maybe if she can convince Kane to see thing in Lexa’s light.  He’d understand. He’d sympathize with Lexa.  Maybe if they give their weapons up they can live like Lexa and her people do. They could have peace.  And they could have homes and children and laughter.  Maybe Lexa would even help them train or help them build a village. 

Maybe they could become one people. 

She feels Lexa stir.  The woman nuzzles her face into the crook of Clarke’s neck and breathes a good morning. It sends shivers through Clarke’s body and she scooches further into Lexa.

“Did you sleep well?”  Lexa murmurs, tightening her arm around Clarke's waist. Clarke swears they’re just two girls in a bed. 

“Better than ever.” She replies and it’s the truth. 

Clarke turns around to face Lexa, and is met with a loopy smile.  The girl leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to the corner of Clarke’s mouth.  Clarke can control the grin that easily spreads across her face.  She feels her chest swell and is about to press their lips together once more when the tent flap is pulled and sunlight blinds her.

And there stands a woman.  Clarke jerks away from Lexa and the girl looks annoyed at most, propping herself up on her elbows to see who has intruded. 

The woman wears only what Clarke can describe as a crown of branches on her head.  Her eyes are dark, smoldered in war paint, and her cheek bones sharp.  Her hair is long and dark except for the blonde tips.  She looks a warrior.

“Chon bilaik?” She spits, walking over to stand at the edge of the bed.  Lexa rises, seemingly unconcerned with the woman in front of them.  Clarke feels mortified.  She feels like a kid caught with her hand in the proverbial cookie jar. 

“Anya, gon.” Lexa says calmly but makes no move to get up off the bed. If these are the last moments she is to share with the sky girl, she'll be damned if she lets anyone interrupt. 

“Chon bilaik?” The woman hisses again, her eyes dangerous on Clarke.  She looks ready to attack, ready to spring and Clarke thinks Lexa won’t let any harm come to her. Thinks.  Her embarrassment has quickly turned into nervousness as she realizes the woman is waiting for her response. 

Clarke notices she doesn’t bow, she doesn’t pay her respects, she doesn’t treat Lexa like a commander.

“Skai raunon,” Lexa answers and the woman’s eyes shoot open and she growls.  

“You need to leave. Now.”  She’s reaching for Clarke’s arm, no doubt to pull her from the bed but Lexa is quicker and she has a hand around Anya’s wrist before she has the chance to grab Clarke.

“No.”  Clarke can see the fire behind Lexa’s eyes.  She’s furious and Clarke knows she won’t let any harm come to her. Knows. Anya looks like she's going to try again for Clarke, before she tightens her jaw and draws her hand back.

“This is dangerous.  She is dangerous.”  Lexa turns to look at Clarke and she doesn’t correct Anya. Instead, she nods and Clarke feels her heart drop. She doesn't want to be a liability. 

“People are talking, Lexa.”  Clarke wonders if those people include Bellamy and Octavia.  She wonders what they think about her spending the night in the commander's tent.  

Lexa’s standing now and walking over to the table. She grabs her armor and chest plate and starts putting in on at a leisurely place.  She grabs a torn up leather jacket and walks towards the bed with it, handing it to Clarke.  She doesn’t look at her as she does it and the sky girl feels her heart sink even further.

“Do you have any idea how this looks? Allowing the enemy into your tent? Into your bed?” She spits the last part, walking to stand in front of Lexa, and the way Lexa’s fists clench, Clarke swears she’s about to swing at the taller woman.

“Know your place, Anya.” It’s curt and it’s cold but Anya doesn’t back down, she stands her ground, almost as if she’s challenging the commander.

“I leave you for a couple weeks.” She says, shaking her head but there’s mirth in her voice. And then just as quickly as the anger arrives, it’s gone and Anya's pulling her into a tight hug.  It’s quick but it’s familiar.

“Clarke, this is Anya.”  The woman looks her up and down and raises a brow at Lexa and Clarke tries not to blush under her scrutinizing gaze. She waves weakly, putting her arms through Lexa's jacket.

She wonders if the commander takes many women. She wonders if this is a scene Lexa has seen played out before.  The thought of Lexa waking up next to another woman and holding her close makes Clarke nauseous and she quickly pushes the thoughts out of her head. 

It’s not her place, she reminds herself.  

“Ai hop yu no fault.”  Anya once again turns serious and Clarke watches as something resembling concern spreads across the woman's face. 

“It is.”  Lexa answers, her eyes locking with Clarke’s and the sky girl has never wished she knew their language more than now. 

“Hodnes laik kwelness.” The woman pursues her lips. But this isn’t love, Lexa tells herself. This isn’t love. She’s not falling in love with Clarke and she never will.  She’s just a body.  She’s just comfort.

And Lexa hopes if she repeats it again and again, she’ll believe her own words.

“Nou get yu daun.” Lexa rolls her eyes at Anya's patronizing tone, because she knows.  She knows better than anyone.  She’s reminded constantly by the decisions she’s made. 

“Why don’t you join us breakfast, Clarke of the sky people?” Her voice is less harsh this time around and Clarke figures this is the closest she'll get to an apology from the older woman. 

Clarke should be preparing a pack and collecting clean water for their journey back to the ark.  She should be finding Bellamy and Octavia and saying her goodbyes and leaving and yet, she’s still here.  She’s still being lead to the dinning area by Lexa and Anya.

She spots Bellamy and Octavia sitting with Lincoln and the woman from the other night.  When they see Clarke, they smile and wave but make no move to get up.  She doesn’t want to rush them, she decides. The mood is lighter now and she watches Anya and Lexa stealing food off each other’s plates. 

Lexa catches her staring and offers her a slight smile.

It’s a smile filled with potential. It’s a smile that begs for more time. And Clarke wants nothing more than to give into its demands.  She wants to kiss Lexa again.  She needs to kiss Lexa again but instead, she settles for placing her hand tentatively on Lexa's knee.  The girl's eyes drift down and Clarke almost pulls away but then Lexa's hand is on top of hers.   

“I have a surprise for you.”  Anya says, grinning at Lexa and Lexa’s eyes leave Clarke's, meeting Anya's. 

“What surprise?” She asks suspiciously, eyes narrowing.

Clarke watches Anya’s eyes land on something behind them and Lexa turns around quickly, her hand falling from Clarke's.  Her eyes widen and her mouth opens before it quickly curls into a smile.  She’s on her feet in a matter of seconds.

And when Clarke turns around, she sees her. And God, she’s beautiful. She might be one of the most beautiful women Clarke’s ever seen and her eyes are for Lexa, only Lexa.

And when Lexa’s standing in front of her, eyes crinkling and her teeth gleaming, she only says one word.

“Costia.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm back!
> 
> Sorry it took a while. Good news: I have the next chapter half done. 
> 
> Things are going to get a bit more exciting now so I hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are much appreciated. Thank you so, so much for all the feedback. It has been lovely waking up to comments and kudos. 
> 
> My tumblr is justmenotwe.tumblr.com if you'd like to chat or have any questions!
> 
> Translations:  
> Chon bilaik - who is she  
> gon - leave  
> Skai raunon - sky person  
> Ai hop yu no fault - i hope this isn't a mistake  
> Hodnes laik kwelness - love is weakness  
> Nou get yu daun - stop worrying


	7. Stay

Lexa brings her arms around the woman’s neck and the woman wraps her arms around Lexa’s waist.  Costia all but clings to her and Clarke starts to think she has no intention of letting go.  Her heart drops as she watches Costia’s finger ghost over Lexa’s bare arm.  And Clarke can’t look away.  She feels jealousy spread through every inch of her body and she tries to fight something so petty, but Costia is everything she is not. 

Costia is long legs and olive skin and green eyes. 

She’s the forest personified. 

And Clarke doesn’t like how she touches Lexa nor does she like how Lexa responds to it, she welcomes it.  She reminds herself that she doesn’t own Lexa, that Lexa is in no way hers.  Yet, she finds comfort in the fact that it was her in Lexa’s bed last night.

“Join us,” Lexa’s voice is soft and a delicate smile is present on her lips.  She motions towards their table.  Lexa sits back down next to Clarke and when she notices her discomfort, her inability to meet her eyes, she seems confused by it. She places a reassuring hand on Clarke’s knee and Clarke relaxed slightly. 

“Clarke, this is Costia.  An old friend.” There’s a fondness in her tone and Clarke tries to tell herself that that’s all Costia is but "old friend" rings with implications of a past.

The woman smiles and it’s a genuine smile, it reaches her eyes.  She doesn’t seem to carry the burden any of the other grounders do.  She doesn't seem to wish Clarke any ill will. 

"Hello, Clarke." She says warmly and Clarke feels safe and she feels comfortable.  She waves in response, not trusting her voice. Costia turns to Anya and wraps her arms around her, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek. 

Anya rolls her eyes before grumbling, “Yeah, yeah. Nice to see you too.”  Costia doesn’t seem to mind and instead laughs.  It sounds almost like wind chimes.

Lexa watches Clarke observe Costia and she squeezes her thigh in reassurance, hoping Clarke understands there is nothing she needs to concern herself with.

“How’s my mother?” Lexa asks finally.

Clarke suddenly feels incredibly lucky to be in this company.  She doubts Lexa would ever speak so openly about her mother in front of people she didn’t fully trust or care for.  Costia seems to realize this too because her gaze flickers from the commander to Clarke and then back, she raises an eyebrow before answering.

“She is well.  I check on her ever week, as promised, and bring her whatever she needs.” She says slowly, still unsure whether she should be sharing such sensitive information in front of this pretty stranger from the sky.

Anya mentioned men and women who fell from the sky some time ago; there have been rumors among villages, too. She never thought Lexa would let them live let alone take one for herself.

“And for that I am forever in your debt.” The commander answers gratefully and Costia can’t help but laugh.

“You don’t have to be so formal all the time, Commander.” Costia teases and Clarke swears she’s flirting. Lexa laughs and Anya joins her, and for a second they all look just like young women, like friends.

They jokes easily through the rest of dinner and Clarke finds it easier and easier to open up.  What she finds harder is disliking Costia. She’s kind and she asks Clarke questions that Anya seems to roll her eyes at.  When breakfast starts dying down, Lexa sighs, signaling her shift and her face hardens. 

“I know you’re not here for pleasure, Costia. What is your business?” Clarke hears the change in tone, she hears the commander taking over.

“The Ice Nation.” And for the first time since Costia sat down, her smile vanishes. 

“Lincoln, Indra.”  Lexa calls through clenches teeth and within seconds they’re standing behind Costia and Anya.  Indra places a hand on Anya’s shoulder and Lincoln leans down, pressing a kiss to Costia’s cheek before moving to stand behind her.

She’s among advisors now.  War advisors.  And it terrifies her to no end.  They look formidable and she hopes to whatever divine force there is, that this war council will never deliberate on the fate of the sky people.

“Clarke, leave us.”  Lexa doesn’t meet her eyes.  Her arms are crossed and she’s looking at her fingers, deep in thought. Clarke nods without a second thought and goes off to find Bellamy and Octavia.  

“What are you going to do with them?” Costia asks, finally voicing what everyone’s been wondering. Clarke and Lexa's interactions were playful, light, and Lexa kept her hand on Clarke's leg all through breakfast.  It wouldn't take a genius to put a finger on it: the commander was falling.  

“They either leave and move south or they turn in their weapons to me and keep the ark as their shelter.” It’s a generous offer, even for Lexa, Costia knows that and yet, she wonders if there is any way they can be of use. 

“Why not slaughter them all.” Costia frowns at Indra. She’s an elder and she’s strong. She’s a brilliant tactician and a skilled warrior and yet she lacks empathy.   

“You cannot slaughter them all.” Costia says firmly, hoping she still has some influence over Lexa but the commander waves her off.

“We do what we must.”  She responds and feels the disappointment radiating off of Costia. After all these years, she’s still an idealist through and through.

“The Sky People are the least of our problems. “ Anya says, feeling the tension between Costia and Lexa building. She remembers there was a time Costia had great influence over Lexa.  Anya doubts Lexa would be as merciful as she is had she not met the other girl. It was Costia who taught her compassion. But that is only a portion of who, as commander, Lexa could be.  She can’t be the forgiving and loving leader Costia wishes she was. 

They all have their role.  They’re all necessary and they all contribute to the commander in their own ways.  Where as Indra and Anya are lethal and realistic, Costia and Lincoln are gracious and idealistic. She needs them all. They bring her balance.

“They sent missionaries for your mother.” Costia says slowly and Lexa’s hands clench into a fist.  They’ve already taken her father and her brother, was that not enough?  Did Nukka really need her mother too?

“We took care of them.” Costia continues and Lexa has never felt more grateful.  Even if her mother does not want anything to do with her, even though they haven’t spoken in years, there’s comfort in knowing they still walk the same Earth.

“We believe the Ice Nation is preparing for an attack. The Queen has been sending scouts to all clans, looking for support to overthrow you as coalition commander.” Anya speaks up.

“Have they found it?”  Lincoln asks, visibly anxious.

“No,” Anya shakes her head, “I visited the northern and western clans, they stand by you.”

“And the south?” Lexa asks.

“They stand by you, commander.” Indra answers and Lexa nods in approval. 

“This coalition is priority.  It cannot fall.”  It was painstaking work forging the coalition.  12 clan leaders all with different beliefs and desires, different cultures and different enemies.  Making allies of clans that have been at war for 97 years was not a painless feet.   She scarified her brother and her father for this coalition.  And if it fell, their deaths would have been for nothing. 

“Commander, I hate to be the one to say it but I don’t think this coalition can go on with Queen Nukka sitting on the throne.” And coming from Lincoln it means a lot. He’s as much of a pacifist as a grounder can be.

“We need to dispose of her, let someone else rule the Ice Nation.  She’s been a nuisance for years, it’s time we end this.  She was given a chance at peace through the coalition and here she is, still greedy for power.” Indra argues. 

And Lexa feels the weight of war once again resting on her shoulders.  Not again, not this soon.  She thinks of Axel and thanks the Gods he’s too young to fight in armed combat. 

“And if we do dispose of her, what of her people?” Anya asks.

“We spare the people.  We will not slaughter a whole clan.” Costia says before Indra has the chance to say the opposite.

“And what of those people?” Anya challenges.

“We install someone with allegiance to the Woods Clan.” Lincoln suggests.  

They can't.  They can't just take their pick and place an invader on the throne. 

"The Prince." Costia says, suddenly. 

And if anyone hates Queen Nukka as much as Lexa does, it's her banished son. 

"Roan?"

"Yes, we're... familiar." Costia finishes lamely.  When she was held by the Ice Queen only one person came to her aid, only one person dressed her wounds and made sure she was fed.  She owes him a great debt, although he would never collect.  Her escape was only possible thanks to him.  

She’s not sure forcing the Ice Nation to assimilate with the Trikru is the best of decisions.  The Ice Nation has their own set of customs, their own Gods. People tend to react negatively when their feel their identities are being threatened.  They become resentful and then they revolt.  She doesn’t want to have to crush rebellions to her rule simply because of different beliefs.

 

Familiar will have to do. 

She needs Costia to be queen. Their eyes meet and Lexa tries not to look desperate. 

“I don’t want to be queen, Lexa.” Costia says quietly, her gaze dropping down to her fingers. And no one argues against it.  No one tries to convince her further.  They understand why.  They all grew up with Lexa, they’ve all seen the decisions she’s had to make, the hardships she’s had to face, the pain she’s felt.

They've seen Lexa being stripped of her own idealism. 

And Lexa, well, she wouldn’t wish this life upon anyone.

“First we need to get rid of her,” Anya reminds them, “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

Lexa nods and breathes in deeply and runs a hand through her hair.  Her advisors look at her eagerly.  And she nods slowly. 

“Send word to the remaining 11 clans, a coup is coming."

/./././././././././././././././././././././././

“Heard you spent the night in the commander’s tent.” Octavia is the first to bring it up and of course she is.  Bellamy doesn’t say anything from his spot on the grass but a smirk does play at his lips. 

Clarke doesn’t answer and instead swings quickly at Octavia and misses.  She resists the urge to stomp her foot.  It’s been at least 10 minutes and she’s yet to land a blow to Octavia, who keeps expertly stepping out of the way.

“So, what’s going on with you two?” The younger tries again, wiggling her eyebrows. Clarke wishes she had a clever response, something to shut Octavia up for good but she doesn't.

“Nothing,” Clarke grumbles as Octavia easily deflects her swing.  

“Come on, Clarke,” It’s Bellamy now, “It looks like she has a thing for you too.  She let you sit at the special table.” And before Clarke has the chance to ask what the “special table” is Octavia whacks her on the shoulder. 

“Ow!” She complains as the younger girl grins.  

“How about I make you a deal. I win, you tell me. I lose, you don’t.” Octavia smirks confidently and Clarke wants nothing more than to wipe that stupid smirk off her face.  She wishes Lexa was here to put her in her place. 

“That’s hardly fair.”

“You’re right, she'd kick your ass. So you might as well just tell us.” Bellamy shrugs. 

“It doesn’t matter.” Clarke lies. She doesn’t want to make this any harder than it has to be.  If she says it out loud she can't take it back.  If it leaves the realm of her mind it becomes real.  

“It does matter.” Bellamy challenges. 

“We’re leaving tomorrow.” Clarke says, dropping the stick and plopping down next to him. 

“I’m not leaving.” Octavia says, her gaze flickering from Clarke to Bellamy.  He stands automatically.

“What?”  Bellamy exclaims, “What do you mean you’re not leaving?” He's not angry, just confused.  

“I’m going to ask permission to stay here. And I’d like for you to stay too.” She says.  She's a Blake first and she'd follow Bellamy to the ends of the Earth but she can see herself here.  She can no longer imagine life on the ark.  She doubts the council would ever allow her to be part of the guard and she wants to be someone.  For the first time in her life she wants to matter. 

“Octavia, we can’t just leave our people.” He argues weakly but not even he buys his argument. In reality, he has no ties to the ark.  Sure, he'd miss Finn and Raven but he'd get over that eventually.  

“They’re not ‘our’ people, Bel. They locked us up, they killed mom. That’s not ‘our’ people. They might be Clarke’s people but they’re not ‘ours.’” And Bellamy finds himself nodding.

It’s her mom’s life on the line. It’s Kane’s.  It’s Finn’s and it’s Raven’s.  It wouldn’t be right not to warn them.  It wouldn’t be right to leave them.  And yet, the more time she spends here, the more time she spends with Lexa, the less of a pull she feels towards what she should consider home.

 ././././././././././././././././././././././

Lincoln stalks through the woods expertly without making a sound.  Octavia tries to follow in his footsteps, she tries to be as quiet as him, but she makes noises here and there.  She’s already scared off two deer.  Indra scolded her but Lincoln wasn’t upset. 

He shrugged, rolling his eyes at Indra.

"Look where you're stepping. Place your toes, then the ball of your foot down before your heel."

He could have reprimanded her, he could have snarled and sent her back to camp but he didn’t, even when Indra was ready to do so. 

He's attractive, objectively speaking, Octavia supposes.  His silence could be interpreted as disinterest but he's perceptive and there's a kindness to him Octavia's never known before.  He let Octavia have his bed of furs while he slept on the floor by Bellamy. And that’s probably one of the sweetest things a near stranger has ever done for her.  Had her brother not been there should would have told him not to be ridiculous, that they can share the bed. 

“So, what’s Lexa’s story?” She asks quietly, hoping Indra won’t hear.  Octavia wants to know everything about her. She wants to know how she became such a great warrior and how she became such a young commander.

“Our people are lucky to have her. She brought us peace.” He says quietly, admiration evident in his voice.

“How do you know her?”

“We grew up together, in the same village.  Lexa and I and the two women sitting at their table, Costia and Anya.” Their lives in Arling were simpler ones, ones that Lincoln looks back upon with strong feelings of nostalgia.  He could have stayed, maybe taken up a role of leadership in the village as Costia did, but when Lexa asked him to accompany her to Polis, how could he refuse?

“Can I ask you something?” She asks, biting her lip. Maybe this isn’t the best time but it’s a question she’s wanted to ask since they’ve arrived. 

“Of course.”

“Do you think she’d let me stay?” At this Lincoln’s movements stop and he turns to Octavia, eyes searching. The girl is eager to learn and he’s never seen anyone like her.  She’s determined and she doesn’t back down.  He could see himself growing fond of her. 

Hell, there’s already a part of him that has.

As for Lexa, he could see her struggling with the decision.  And yet, there's something that tells him she'll say yes. 

“You’d have to speak to the commander directly.” He says and when her face falls he adds, “But I do believe she’d let you, yes.”

She doubts the ark would even notice their disappearance.  And even if they did, they wouldn’t mind.  They wouldn’t lose anyone valuable.  Bellamy is almost convinced.     

A gentle hand on her arm brings her out of her thoughts and she turns to see Lincoln with a finger to his lips.  He points ahead of them and surely enough, a couple feet standing between the trees is a deer.

Octavia quickly turns around and hushes her brother and Echo before turning to watch Lincoln. He draws his bow and Octavia can’t help but focus on how his muscles contract as he pulls back.

He releases and the arrow glides through the air, easily finding its target.  Indra nods in admiration. 

“Teach me to do that?” Octavia asks with a smile and he smiles back nodding his head.  Before he has the chance to answer something catches his eye: fire.

He shushes them all and Octavia freezes when she follows his gaze.  There, around the fire, sit two men.  She’s not sure she could even call them men, they might be younger than her. 

They’re wearing dark blue clothing lined with white furs.  They don’t seem aware of their presence as they pass a jug back and forth, laughing loudly.

“The Ice Nation,” Indra whispers before turning to Lincoln, “The commander will want them alive.”

And just like that she’s running towards them, her trained footsteps silent on the forest floor. Lincoln purses his lips and chases after her.  Ice Nation scouts this close to TonDC means nothing good.  And the fact that the Ice Queen sent more, even after the disappearance of others, shows her determination.

It takes a couple seconds for Octavia’s feet to start working but as soon as they do, she’s off. She hears Bellamy call after her but she ignores it.  She draws the blade Lincoln has provided her with and joins the two warriors.

Indra and Lincoln both have their swords pressed to the neck of the boys.  They look startled to say the least and Octavia understands why. Indra is shouting quickly and ferociously at them and she hopes she’ll never become the recipient of Indra’s sharp tongue.

./././././././././././././././.

Lexa’s in the process of showing her how to shoot an arrow when they hear the commotion.  Her hands are on Clarke’s hips and the sky girl wonders if the grounder chose this activity for this very reason.  Her hands drops and her head turns to see the hunting party return. On Lincoln’s shoulder there’s a deer but Indra and Octavia are leading two captives through camp.

Their cloaks give them away instantly. Indra kicks one of their feet out and Octavia does the same to the other one.

“Come.” Lexa starts walking in their direction, Clarke hot on her heels.  She stands next to Bellamy and the woman she’s learned to be Echo. 

The commander doesn’t say anything as she comes to stand in front of the white haired man.

“What is your business with the people of TonDC?” Her voice is dangerous and Clarke’s eyes rest uneasily on the sword at her hip. When the man fails to respond she draws it, slowly and meaningfully.  She presses it to the man’s neck and Indra grabs his hair, pulling his head back in order to give Lexa access to his throat.  He doesn’t look afraid and Clarke thinks he should be.

“I’ll ask again.  Did the Nukka send you?” When he doesn’t respond Lexa’s sword glides against his throat and his body falls limp to the ground. Clarke’s seen people die before. She’s seen her father die but she’s never seen death like this, death so tangible. 

Lexa doesn’t bat an eyelid and Clarke doesn’t want to admit how much that terrifies her.  And Lexa’s calmness is confirmation that this isn’t her first kill. She wonders if Lexa were to slit her throat, would her face also betray no emotion?     

Lexa’s not wearing her armor and she’s not wearing her war paint and Clarke can no longer pretend that the commander and Lexa are separate beings. 

Lexa then moves in front of Octavia, who puts on a brave face and pulls back the man’s head, just as Indra did before her.  She feels her hands shaking and if Lexa sees it, she doesn’t acknowledge it.

Clarke feels a hand grasp hers and she realizes it’s Bellamy, his eyes trained on his sister.  His younger sister, who has never killed anything, who has never seen death.

Lexa presses her blade to the throat of the other boy. Octavia could let him go. He could run and maybe he could get away.  She wouldn’t be responsible for his death that way.  And though that thought crosses her mind briefly, she pushes it back. She doesn’t know much about the Ice Nation but she trusts Lexa’s judgment.  Lincoln explained briefly that the Trikru has no greater enemy than the Ice Nation.  Her eyes flicker quickly to him and he gives her a tight-lipped smile.  Her eyes are filled with questions unspoken and he nods, he’ll fill in the gaps in the story tonight.  

“Lexa’s a great commander because she’s ruthless.” Clarke hears from beside her. Between gripping Bellamy’s large hand tight enough to cut off circulation, and keeping her eyes trained on Lexa, she hadn’t noticed Anya and Costia coming to stand beside them.

It sounds a lot like praise.

“I don’t think I could do it.” Costia says, biting the inside of her cheek before turning to Clarke, “She might not show it, but it pains her too.” 

“Stop, please!” It’s the younger boy. His accent is thick and his voice betrays his youth.  He tries to get up but Octavia holds steady and Indra place a hand on his shoulder, keeping him on his knees. 

Lexa doesn’t at all seem phased by his pleas and instead pushes the blade further into his neck, this time drawing blood. He screams as the blood starts dripping from the wound and onto his cloak.  

Clarke doesn’t think his screams will ever leave her mind.  

“Your allegiance is to me first and to your queen second. Is that understood?” Lexa’s voice is calm, calmer than it should be.  Clarke feels herself shaking and it’s only Bellamy’s hand that keeps her together.

“She’s going to spare his life.” Costia says and it sounds more like a prayer than a fact.

“Don’t count on it, Cos.” Anya says, a slight smirk forming at her lips. 

Lexa nods at Indra and with Octavia’s help they pull him to his feet. 

“Thank you, thank you,” The man repeats but his thanks is premature.  Before he utters it the third time there is a blade through his chest.  A gasp falls from Clarke’s lips and she hopes no one heard it. He falls to the ground with a dull thud and the village is silent.  Lexa gives the two bodies a long look before kneeling down and wiping the blood off her sword on their clothing.  She secures it back on her hip and turns around, heading towards her tent.

Clarke watches the blood oozing from the wounds and staining the dirt.  She feels numb, as though her mind still hasn’t registered what occurred.

“Told you.”  Anya grins, not at all affected by it all.  Indra doesn’t look distressed as she and a large, tattooed man grab the two bodies by the legs and begin to drag them off. The villagers don’t look phased and neither do the children.   

Clarke watches Lincoln jog over to Octavia. She’s still standing there, unmoving, looking at the bodies being dragged away.  

“You were very brave.” She hears him say and Octavia looks at him, her eyes shimmering. 

“Come.” He says, offering her a hand and she takes it easily, allowing herself to be led in the direction of his tent.

Costia pushes past Anya and walks furiously to Lexa’s tent.  Anya doesn’t seem impressed by her behavior but ignores it and goes to help Indra.

“You okay?” She hears from beside her and realizes she’s still holding Bellamy’s hand.  She squeezes it gently before letting go.

“I don’t know.” She answers truthfully.  It's still Lexa and she knows that shouldn't be the case.  Any normal person would run the other way and all Clarke wants to do is comfort her. 

Murder is wrong.  Killing is wrong.  And yet, she doesn't hate Lexa and that's frightening. 

./././././././././././././././././././././././

“You could have let him live,” Costia shouts upon entering Lexa’s tent.  The commander doesn’t acknowledge the girl and instead, wrings out a rag and starts wiping off the blood.

“You know damn well that I couldn’t.” She responds calmly.  This was a common occurrence.  Whenever she made a difficult decision that Costia disagreed with for moral reasons, she’d end up getting yelled at for it. 

“You could have-“ 

“Could have what?” Lexa cuts her off angrily, “Could have offered them a life here?  Could have taken them prisoner?  Could have what?  Sent them back so they could report on my activities as well as the presence of sky people in my village?”

Lexa stops after her last point and Costia’s eyes widen.

“Are you concerned with the safety of the sky people or Clarke?”  Costia asks and Lexa knew she would.  She has a knack for these sorts of things and Lexa doesn’t doubt she knew of Lexa’s feelings the second she sat down at the breakfast table, not to mention Anya most certainly filled her in on their night activities.

“Love is weakness.” Lexa responds cooly and Costia rolls her eyes.

“Don’t give me that.” She snaps and finally she has Lexa’s undivided attention, “Don’t give me all that shit Anya and Indra have been feeding you.”

Lexa doesn’t respond. Love, even fondness, leads to irrational decisions and she doesn’t have room for error. She has learned that the hard way.

“What the hell happened to you, Lexa?" The dark haired woman demands. And it hurts to hear that more than Lexa would ever admit.  Costia knew her before all this, before she became commander.  Hell, Costia was her first, she knows everything.

“Costia, I’m commander first.” She says weakly. She's tired of having the same argument over and over again. She's tired of Costia's disappointment and her disapproval. 

“No,” Costia says, walking to stand in front of her, “You’re human first.”

Lexa bites the inside of her cheek because Costia is close to tears and she’s the one to blame. And she wants nothing more than to break down and tell Costia everything.  She wants to tell Costia that she wants the sky people to live, and that she wants Clarke to stay, and that she's sorry she killed those men, but that's a door she can't open. It's easy to break down, it's easy to cry and scream, what's harder is putting yourself back together. And so Lexa has vowed never to break again. 

“I-“ Before she can respond, the tent flaps are pulled open and Clarke walks inside.   Lexa clears her throat and straightens up.    

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt anything, “ She looks down at her hands, unsure of what sees just walked into, “I can leave.” 

Lexa looks defeated, tired, exhausted, and Costia looks angry, furious even.  She turns around but before she can make her way out, Costia speaks up.

“No, I was just leaving.  Remember that, commander.”  Her voice isn’t exactly pleasant and Lexa clenches her jaw. The way she says “commander” sounds more like an insult than a respectable title. 

“Clarke,” She says, liking the way it tastes on her tongue.  She’s not sure there’s another Clarke amongst her people, “Would you like to go for a walk?”

Clarke nods and this time when she walks out of the tent, Bellamy is sitting at the fire alone.  She wants to ask how Octavia is but she thinks she understands. And now, as he’s looking up there’s just a hint of disapproval in his eyes.  It’s almost as if he doesn’t want Clarke to be alone in Lexa’s company.

Clarke quickly looks away.

There is a thin line between being merciful and being weak and right now, Lexa is tip toeing that line.  Her people come first. Always. No woman can nor will ever change that.

Yet, as they walk through the now dimly lit village Lexa finds herself wanting more.  She wants to walk Clarke through the streets of Polis.  She wants to show her where she grew up.  She wants a future that she knows isn’t guaranteed to her. She was never meant to fall for anyone, not Costia, not Clarke.  Her life, her love is dedicated only to her people.

“I’m sorry you had to see that, Clarke.” And she means it, “It’s a choice I had to make as commander.”  She wants Clarke to understand that her life is more than just death, that she wishes for more than just bloodshed. 

“I know, Lexa.” Clarke sighs and she reaches for the commander’s hand. The torches of the city behind them now. 

This is Lexa's world and if her people worship her as much as they do, if she's indeed a great commander, then who is Clarke to question her?  Maybe the lines have blurred.  Maybe morality isn't as black and white as she once thought it to be. 

Lexa easily intertwines their fingers and leads Clarke further into the forest.  For all she knows Lexa could be trying to get her far enough away from TonDC to kill her but there’s no part of her that believes that to be the truth.

This is trust, Clarke thinks.

Lexa leads them to one of her favorite spots. It’s a meadow. It’s nothing special to her people, not really.  But it sure is beautiful during the night.  She sits in the grass, and leans her back against a fallen log. 

“Look up.”  Lexa smiles and when Clarke does she sees the sky like she’s never seen it before.  She sees what Lexa has been seeing for years.  She sees where she came from and well, it’s beautiful.  There are millions, billions of stars and she knew that, she did, but seeing them from Earth is a completely different experience. It’s breathtaking.

Lexa watches the stars reflected in Clarke’s eyes and she wants to remember this moment forever.  Because sitting here in the meadow, with Clarke’s hand in her own and her head pointing towards the sky, she’s never felt more content. 

And it makes Lexa think that maybe she can have both, maybe she can have her star and her people.  Maybe the Trikru can benefit from an alliance with the Skaikru. Maybe if they’re heading to war, maybe their weapons and their medical expertise can be of use.

Nukka wouldn’t expect guns, she wouldn’t expect the numbers.  And then what? What of the Skaikru after the war? Would they live side by side? Would they become a clan and the alliance of the 12 would become the alliance of the 13?  Lincoln seems to have taken a liking to Octavia and Echo to Bellamy.  If they can accept the Skaikru, maybe others could too.  There was little opposition and question to the arrival of those three.

It’s a long shot but if the Skaikru agreed to fight alongside the 12, maybe they could find a way to coexist. Something for something. 

“What if you were born on the ark?” Clarke asks quietly, her head leaning on the log, still looking at the sky.

She looks beautiful in the moonlight and all Lexa wants to do is kiss her lips. She doesn’t answer because she doesn’t know how to. She wouldn't be commander, first of all.  She'd be just a girl. 

“We would have grown up together. We would have went to the same school and we would have become friends and then..”  Clarke stops.

“And then?” Lexa asks, her heart feeling light in her chest.  Clarke shakes her head before turning it to look at Lexa.

In her eyes, Lexa sees the desire for lives not lived and it makes her heart ache.

“Tell me of the sky.” Lexa says, leaning against Clarke’s shoulder.

“It was cold and empty.  I felt alone.” She says and Lexa tries to imagine it. She tries to picture the coldness and the darkness of it.  She doesn’t understand space, not really.  She’s seen pictures of stars and constellations, of planets, in old books they found at Mount Weather.  

“Do you still feel alone?”  She asks, looking up at Clarke.

“Not since I met you.”

Lexa’s breath catches and she swears she’s never heard more beautiful words.  She feels Clarke’s words in her whole being and Lexa feels the sky in her veins. And the way Clarke is looking at her right now, no one has ever looked at her like that. 

She captures Clarke’s lips in a fiery kiss because Clarke makes her _feel._ And she hasn’t felt in so long. Her teeth graze Clarke’s lip and when a moan escapes Clarke’s lips, Lexa feels it set her body on fire. She’s never heard a more beautiful sound.  Clarke’s tongue finds its way into her mouth.  Lexa refuses to break the kiss as she swings a leg over Clarke’s hips, straddling her.

Clarke leans up, wrapping her arms around Lexa’s body and pulling her as close as possible.  Lexa’s hands tangle in her hair and it’s not enough.  She needs more, she needs to feel Clarke’s skin against hers.          

Clarke pulls away momentarily and she sees the lust in Lexa’s eyes, the need, the desire.  Her cheeks are red and her mouth is slightly open and she’s stretching her neck, hoping to once again feel Clarke’s lips on hers.  

“Let's go back.”  And that’s all all Lexa needs. Faster than Clarke thought humanely possible Lexa is on her feet, offering Clarke a hand.  She pulls the blonde to her feet and starts leading her back to the tent.  Her pace is quick and her breathing still heavily.

Lexa doesn’t let go of Clarke’s hand as they walk through the village nor does she let go when they pass Anya and Costia. She doesn’t even acknowledge them. It’s only when they near her tent and she sees Octavia sitting against the post, does Lexa slow.

Octavia’s eyes flicker to their intertwined fingers as she rises from the ground.  There’s a spark of recognition in her eyes and she nods apologetically as they near her.

“Heda, ai laik Okteivia kom Skaikru en ai gaf un hear.” She repeats the words Lincoln’s taught her with confidence.  And Lexa, though interrupted, can’t find it in herself to be annoyed.

Octavia speaks with her voice steady and her head held high, she then bows her head in respect and waits for Lexa to speak. The commander reluctantly lets go of Clarke’s hand and raises a brow in question.  Clarke doesn’t respond instead she’s looking at Octavia with disbelief. 

“What business do you have, Octavia of the Sky People?” Lexa inquires.

“Heda, I wish to pledge my allegiance to the Trikru. I wish to serve you and only you.” If Lexa’s taken back by Octavia’s words she doesn’t show it.  Clarke on the other hand is shocked.  She would have expected Bellamy to talk her out of it.  She looks around for him and she finds him where she left him, sitting by the fire. When their eyes meet, he nods in approval. 

It’s an unprecedented situation to say the least and the whole village is watching, Lexa is aware of the eyes on her. Lexa scans the camp quickly, her eyes meeting Anya’s, then Costia’s, and finally Lincoln’s.  Her eyes convey a warning: “she’s your responsibility” and he understands, nodding quickly and accepting the terms.

“You may stay, Octavia.” She says finally and a grin spreads across the young girl’s face as she launches a triumphed fist in the air.

“Mochof, Heda.” She says bowing before speaking again, “And my brother?”

“He may stay.”

“And Clarke?” Octavia asks and at this Lexa’s throat tightens because she’d like nothing more.

“And Clarke.”

“Yes!” And just like that Octavia is running towards Lincoln at full speed.  She launches herself into his arms and laughs as he catches her easily and spins her around.

Clarke is the first to retreat into the tent and Lexa follows suit quickly.  Clarke’s silent as she walks towards the bed of furs and sits down. The playfulness of earlier is gone and Lexa walks over to sit beside her.

“Stay.”  She’s doesn’t want to let the word out but it rattles through her lungs and spills out of her mouth.  How can one word carry so much weight?  She’s loved and she’s lost so much and she doesn’t want to lose anymore.

She dares herself to look at Clarke and the sky girl is looking forward, her expression blank but Lexa sees an internal war behind her eyes. 

“My people, they’re not so different than Octavia and Bellamy and me,” She sounds so small, so unsure of herself, “Please don’t sentence them to death.”

And there’s nothing more she wants to do them to throw her arms around Clarke, kiss her sadness away and promise her their safety. If Octavia is willing to embrace their ways, who’s to say the rest or at least some of the sky people aren’t?

If she makes this offer she cannot retract it. She has to stand by it. Anya and Indra won’t like it. They’ll call it weakness but they can’t deny the help of the sky people would guarantee their victory in the event of war. And if conflict breaks out between the Trikru and the Skaikru, they'd be fighting a two front war and Lexa knows how dangerous that is. There are tales, from the days before the war, of unconquerable rulers falling simply because of this mistake. 

“The Ice Nation has become a bit of a nuisance. It might come down to war and if you’re people are willing to stand with the coalition, there might be a place for them among us.”

Clarke’s head snaps up and for the first time she seems hopeful.

“We’ll help you.  We’ll fight for you.” She’s sure she can convince the council of that.  Better to fight alongside the grounders against a common enemy than against them. Anya's words echo in her head, "Lexa's a great commander cause she's ruthless."  It would not lead to a positive outcome for her people.

“Okay.” Lexa agrees and it catches Clarke off guard. She looks up and in Lexa’s eyes she sees something ineffable, something she's never seen before. 

Okay. It's such a simple word and yet it means the world. She rises and stands in front of Lexa, moving closer until her thigh is between Lexa’s legs.  She places two hands on either side of Lexa’s face and leans down to capture her lips in a kiss.

It’s the softest thing Lexa has ever felt in her life.

Clarke gently pushes Lexa back onto the furs and straddles her.  She sits on top of Lexa’s hips and grabs the hem of her shirt, pulling it over her head and tossing it to the floor.  She hears a gasp escaping Lexa’s lips and when she looks down to meet Lexa’s gaze, Lexa’s looking at her through hooded eyes.  Her eyes explore every inch of exposed skin and then Lexa reaches up, resting one hand on Clarke’s hip and places another on her bare stomach. 

And Clarke can't help but wonder how a killer's hands can be so gentle.

She feels Clarke shiver beneath her touch and Lexa feels her hands shaking. She glides her palm up Clarke’s stomach and over the valley of her breasts.  Her touch is light and if Clarke wasn’t watching her hand she’s not sure she’d know whether or not Lexa touched her.  Lexa’s hand lands on the back of Clarke’s neck and she gently pulls her down. Clarke molds their lips together and kisses her slowly, letting herself believe she has all the time in the world.

Lexa captures Clarke’s top lip between her lips and bites gently.  Clarke pulls back then, grabbing Lexa’s arms and pulling her into sitting position. She grabs Lexa’s shirt and pulls up.  Lexa lifts her arms and Clarke lifts the shirt, discarding it next to hers.  

And she swears, Lexa was sculpted by the Gods.

Clarke’s mouth goes dry. 

Lexa’s abs are well defined and she has a beautifully done tattoo on her ribs.  It’s a tribal tattoo of sorts and it follows the indentations of her ribs.

There are scars too and one day Clarke will ask about each and every one of them, one day she'll kiss each and every one of them.  There’s a particularly long one under Lexa's left breast, stretching across her ribs and Clarke leans down to kiss the length of it.

She places kisses on exposed skin and allows her lips to graze Lexa’s collarbone.  She feels Lexa shiver beneath her when she sucks lightly on her neck.  Lexa moans and reaches up to tangle her hands in Clarke’s blonde locks. Lexa pulls her back up and fits their lips together, it’s more frantic now and when Clarke feels skin against skin it only excites her more.  She pushes into Lexa, slipping her tongue in her mouth.  Lexa’s hands are everywhere.  On her back, slipping slightly into the waistband of her pants, ghosting over her stomach.

Clarke leans back and unclasps her bra.

Lexa looks as her hungrily, and pulls her down quickly. She brings a nipple to her mouth and sucks on it lightly.  Clarke’s hands find Lexa’s braids as the commander circles the flesh with her tongue. When Clarke feels teeth graze the sensitive flesh, she feels the ache between her legs.  Lexa pays the same attention to the other nipple before bringing Clarke’s neck to her lips and sucking.  She bites hard enough to leave a mark and Clarke wonders if that’s her intention. 

Clarke closes her eyes and lets the euphoria take over.

“Lexa, please.”  At this point she’d beg.  Lexa’s mouth is hot on her chest and then she’s sitting up. Clarke watches the muscles of Lexa’s arms as strong arms wrap around her back and she flip them over.

Clarke feels the wetness pooling between her legs.

“I need you.” She says again as Lexa hovers over her. Lexa sits back and unwraps her binder. Clarke doesn’t take her eyes off her and when Lexa’s done, Clarke reaches up to cup her breasts.  Lexa allows her a second before grabbing Clarke's hands and pinning them above her head.

“Oh my god,” is the only thing that escapes Clarke's lip as Lexa slides a thigh between Clarke's legs.  Lexa leans down and when Clarke feels their skin touch, she lets out a whimper and clenches her eyes shut. 

“Say you’ll stay,” She hears Lexa whisper pleading in her ear and Clarke nods quickly.  It’s not fair, not really.  She’d agree to anything right about now but when she opens her eyes and she sees Lexa above her, stripped of all titles, stripped of all pretense, she knows her answer.

“I’ll stay.”

./././././././././././././././././././././.

She wakes up to fingertips on her stomach and lips on her shoulder.  Clarke pulls her in closer and Lexa revels in the feeling of their bare bodies flush against one another. Her body aches and she’s tired, spent from the night before, but she’s never felt this happy before.

Clarke pepper kisses against soft skin and Lexa turns around to face her, wanting to feel those lips against her own. When she turns around she’s met with tired eyes and a smiling mouth.  She leans in and presses a gentle kiss to Clarke’s lips.  Lexa tries to wipe the smile off her face but she can’t seem to fight it. 

“You’re beautiful.” Lexa says quietly and it’s the most honest she’s ever been. She has no doubt in her mind that, before the war, people used to write books about beauty like Clarke's. From golden deserts to blue oceans, she could have brought men and women alike to their knees. 

In hindsight, she should have known better than to expect anything.  She should have known perfect moments are fleeting and when the tent flaps rip open, the paradise they built just hours before burns to the ground.

“Are we going to make a habit of this?” Lexa growls and reaches up to cover herself and Clarke with the furs. Her annoyance fades quickly when she sees the look upon Costia’s face.  Her eyes shift from her to Clarke and her bottom lip trembles.  Anya, on the other hand, looks furious.  Her eyes are blazing and she has war paint smeared over them.

She’s in battle gear and Lexa’s heart sink.   

She's not ready to rise from this bed and face another threat.  She's not ready to rise from this bed at all.  All she wants to do is replay the events of last night in her head and repeat them today. It's too soon.  

“What.” She asks, feeling the dread beginning to settle.  She breaks away from Clarke's arms and sits up, immediately missing the warmth of her embrace. She expects Anya to tell her that the Ice Queen has started mobilizing her troops, or worse, that she's already attacked. 

What Anya tells her is much worse. 

“It’s the Sky People,” Costia starts, looking at Clarke uneasily, there's sadness in her eyes. Lexa deserves someone and she doesn’t want Clarke taken away from her, not when they just found each other. 

“They set fire to TonPenn.” Anya finishes gently, taking the burden off Costia's shoulders.

Clarke deflates completely. Any small sliver of hope there was for the survival of her people, gone.  Any hope for an allegiance, gone. Any hope for her and Lexa, gone. 

Lexa’s silent but her eyes are screaming. She's furious and she's drowning.  

Just like that, any trace of her Lexa is gone. She's replaced by a woman foreign to Clarke, a woman with cold eyes and barred teeth that seek nothing but blood.  

And Clarke swears, Lexa will kill them all.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! 
> 
> I do apologize that it's been almost two weeks. I've had a busy couple of weeks. School and work and all that fun stuff. 
> 
> I did make up for it though with a hella long chapter so I do hope you enjoy! 
> 
> Thanks for all the comments and kudos, they mean a lot!
> 
> As always, if you wanna chat or yell at me here's my tumblr: justmenotwe.tumblr.com


	8. Aches and Pains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovely people!
> 
> Thank you for the overwhelmingly positive response to this story. Bet you thought this fic was never getting updated, huh? I lost hope for a while, too. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope ya'll enjoy this!

“How many dead?”

“Thirty-seven.”

Lexa is off the bed in an instant, wrapping covering around her breasts.  The love bites disappear under the white covering and all traces of the night before disappear as Lexa pulls trousers over her legs. 

“Send riders to the 12 clans, tell them to ready their armies.” She snarls at the two of them and Anya nods, turning on her heel and leaving them be. 

Lexa says nothing as she sits down in front of her mirror and starts applying her war paint.  With every stroke of her fingers, her face grows more and more composed, she grows more and more detached. 

Clarke’s frozen, watching the woman helplessly.  There’s nothing. Nothing to say, nothing to do. 

Costia’s still standing there, watching Lexa with poignant eyes.  She sees what Clarke sees: Lexa’s hands shaking.  She crosses the room and attempts to steady them.  She reaches and Lexa flinches.

“Don’t.” It’s curt and it’s cold and it’s terrifying.  It stops Costia dead in her tracks. 

Clarke swears she can hear Lexa’s bones creak with exhaustion as she stands up and sighs.  And Clarke doesn’t know if she’s ever seen anyone so young look so old. 

She looks at the floor at Clarke’s feet for a second and Clarke almost begs her to say something, before her jaw sets and she turns her nose up, and walks out.

Costia stays. 

She doesn’t say anything – doesn’t offer any sort of comfort – as she walks to the side of the bed and with her back to it, slides down to sit on the floor.  With her head in her hands, she cries, and Clarke knows she’s not crying for her people.

She imagined the warmth of the sun on her skin and she imagined fresh air in her lungs - real sun and real air.

She imagined cool rain drops soothing warm skin on a particularly humid day. 

She imagined falling in love, sometimes with a boy, sometimes with a girl, and walking through green forests hand-in-hand.  She imagined a modest, humble life.

She imagined what her mother told her of: peace, prosperity, hope, and new beginnings.

She never once imagined plummeting down to Earth and being thrown straight into conflict.  She never imagined her people failing to learn from their mistakes. 

She never imagined having the most powerful woman on the world whimpering under her; never did she imagine hearing “Clarke” on the lips of a killer.

Never did she imagine fearing for the safety of a woman who very well may be the harbinger of her people’s destruction.

She could have never imagined Lexa.  

She’s been trying to remind herself that her people are not the victims, they are the perpetrators.  They did this, they brought this upon themselves and yet Clarke cannot condemn them.   

She cannot denounce them.

The silence is unbearable and it hangs between them, broken only by Costia’s quiet hiccups. 

“What is she going to do?” Clarke finally cracks, not sure if she wants to know the answer, not sure Costia knows anymore than she does.

“I don’t know.” Costia answers truthfully, not looking up.  A couple years ago she might have answered with “she’ll raze Camp Jaha to the ground,” but this Lexa is different, she’s older.  She’s survived war, she’s survived death.  She’s suffered and she’s learned. “She will show them mercy.” 

What does mercy look like for those who set fire to a village of innocents?  Thirty-seven dead.  It was mercy, after all, that resulted in the death of those thirty-seven.

She lies back and closes her eyes and all she sees is thirty-seven.  All she sees is red, angry flames consuming a village not different than Ton DC.  All she sees is children choking on onyx smoke; all she sees is children burning. 

She opens her eyes.   

“I don’t know that they deserve mercy.”

././././././. 

It’s silent as they ride out towards the ark.  No one dares speak, not Indra who always has something aggressive to add, not Anya who always seems to have a snarky comment, not Lincoln who could stop wars with the softness of his voice. 

Lexa feels uneasy.  She wants to say something, to Anya or Lincoln at least but the lump in her throat won’t let her.  She let it happen.  She did this.  She should have dealt with the problem right away.  She should have – she should have… It does her no good to dwell in the past, she reminds herself. 

All she can do now is move forward and – and what? 

If she lays waste to Camp Jaha hundreds of innocent people will die.  She'd be a hypocrite, sentencing all to death for the decisions of a few, but her people would rally behind her and find pride in another military victory.  She could subdue Azgeda for the time being and bring her people restitution.  

If she kills them, the headache that is Skaikru ends today.

The weight of the Mountains pushes on her shoulders.  Men, women, children, all killed by her hand.  

She’s not sure her back can hold the weight of the deaths of another people.

There’s Clarke and there’s Octavia and there’s Bellamy.  Would they demand to die with their people?  Or would they stay?  Would she have to be the one to pierce their hearts? 

Would her sword be the one to cut through the very skin her lips touched the very night before?

She feels the familiar taste of bile building in her throat and she swallows it down. 

But if she does let them live, if she only demands the heads of those responsible, what guarantee does she have that they will obey her?  What guarantee does she have that one day they won’t turn against her, leading in more loss of life for her people?

././././

Lexa hasn’t spoken since they left camp.  She’s been looking ahead, eyes far away, fixed on nothing in particular.  Her hands hold her reins loosely and she’s leading her horse forward somewhat unconsciously.    

“Commander, let us fill up our canteens” Anya breaks the silence and Lexa nods, making no move to get off her horse.

Anya dismounts and grabs both her and Lexa’s canteens, offering her a slight nod as she does so. 

Lexa doesn’t look at her.  

She looks haunted.

Anya hasn’t seen her look that way in months, not since the mountain fell.  Not since she pulled the level at Mt. Weather and irradiated level 5, not since Lexa killed a people. 

Sometimes it’s difficult to image a less callous Lexa, a Lexa full of wonder and hope and _life._

But Anya remembers.

She remembers being three and seeing her for the first time – just a baby in her mother’s eyes.  She never cried, just observed with large, curious eyes.

She remembers being thirteen and watching a young Lexa, who dreamed of greatness, with oversized armor hanging off her shoulders.  She challenged her to duels constantly and landed on her ass every time but it never discouraged her.

She remembers being eighteen and begging Costia to walk by during their training sessions.  Lexa had turned into a fire warrior but her gaze would always stray and Anya would win, every single time. 

They were young and free and happy.

It hurts because no matter how many times her thoughts drift to those times, it always ends the same. 

She always remembers being nineteen and hearing hooves on the ground and shouts in the village.  She remembers watching as guards knocked down the door of Lexa’s home, restrained her father and her brother, and escorted her away from her family, away from her home, away from everything warm and comfortable. 

She remembers riders from Polis showing up at her own door weeks later.

She remembers Lexa’s hollow cheeks and dead eyes.  She remembers Lexa collapsing in her arms late that night, sobs rackling through her small figure.

 _If this is greatness, I do not want it._  

It still hurts and Anya figures it will never cease hurting. 

She walks through the brush with their canteens and leans down in the creek to fill them up.  The water is starting to cool this time of year.  And even though she wishes the circumstances were different, she's glad to be back in Ton DC. 

It's then that she hears the forest floor speak.  

“I hear you, you know.” She says loud enough for the “spy” to hear but quietly enough so that the rest of the party doesn’t.  Her back is turned and she’s hunched over the creek but she hears twigs snapping under the weight of the figure.

Skaikru, without a doubt.  Even Azgeda knows how to navigate the forest without a sound.  

Anya spins around, dagger in hand, and sees a woman with long dark hair pulled into a tight ponytail, crossed arms, and a frown on her face.  She doesn’t seem the least bit concerned that she’s come face to face with a grounder.  Anya slips her dagger back into its pouch and looks at the woman expectantly. 

“Where are Clarke and Bellamy and Octavia?” She huffs and Anya can’t help the smirk that comes across her face.

“Aren’t you a bit far from home?” She asks, turning back around and topping off the canteens before screwing the lid on tightly.

“You didn’t answer the question,” she huffs, not letting up. She's slight but has a fire to her.  

“Your friends are safe but your people are not.  I suggest you hurry back to camp." She should turn her into Lexa.  They should take her as prisoner but for some reason she’s enthralled by this strange, somewhat childish, creature.

“I’m not interested in going back there without my friends.” And suddenly she's a little less childish and a little more loyal, a little more admirable. 

“I can't decide if you're brave," The dark haired woman looks on proudly, "or just plain stupid." 

Her face deflates before Anya continues, "You know all I need is a couple seconds to have you on your back.” 

Raven can’t help the way her eyebrow shoots up.  The woman’s dark eye makeup accentuates her cheek bones and the double entendre does not fall on deaf ears. 

“Sounds like a good time.” Comes out of her mouth before she can bite her tongue.  She curses herself momentarily but it’s not her fault it’s her nature tendency to flirt with anything that moves.

Anya can’t help the chuckle that bubbles in her throat, “And here I thought your people lacked a sense of humor.”

Before Raven can retort, they hear shouts in the distance.  Anya watches as the dread spreads through the girl’s body as she finally realizes she is out of her depth, alone in the forest surrounded by the enemy.  

“Hide in that thicket and don’t come out until we leave.”

./././././. 

They approach Camp Jaha on horseback at full gallop.  She quickly identifies shooters, sitting atop the wall.  When the Sky People see them, they start yelling commands.  She vaguely hears “grounders” and “there’s here” and “it’s her.” 

They stop a few meters away from the gates and wait for the leadership to come out.  It doesn’t take long for Kane, Abby, and Jaha to emerge from camp, surrounded by 5 heavily armed men.  They point their guns at her but she feels very little concern for her safety.  Around her, her warriors unsheathe their weapons. 

As they approach, the recognition and shock on their faces becomes more evident.  Kane looks at her with wonder and admiration while Abby and Jaha in fear.   

She gets off her horse and takes even strides towards them – Anya, Indra, and Lincoln at her side.

Kane’s eyes dance between the three behind her and finally settle on her face, wide with shock.  The last time he saw her she was a hopeless and useless young girl and now, she’s a God. 

"Marcus," She offers him a quick nod, which he returns slowly, before she turns her attention to the Chancellor. 

“You’re the Commander?” Jaha asks, his voice dripping with disbelief and arrogance.

With black kohl spread across her cheeks and a sword at her hip – another attached at her back – she’s dangerous.  In their eyes, she’s the savage who has been killing their people since the day they landed on the ground. 

"You burned one of my villages to the ground. Thirty-seven people died in the attack. How will you answer for your crime?"

She always does this.  She always asks how the guilty plead.  She always asks what they offer in return, whether or not they regret their actions. 

Kane’s head snaps to Jaha, “you did what?”

“We were looking for our people; the ones you took.”

"The ones who came willingly,” she corrects.

“Where is she?”  Abby’s fear is palpable and Lexa figures, from the dark circles under her eyes, that she hasn’t slept since Clarke went missing.  She wonders if her mother missed her like that once. 

"Clarke is safe,” she says mostly for Abby’s sake before turning back to the chancellor, “as are the others. They will be free to return to you once the massacre has answered for. Bring me your guilty and I will spare the rest of your people.”

“What will happen to them?” Jaha asks.  He looks composed but Lexa doesn’t miss the way his voice shakes and it looks like she just found her culprit. 

“They will suffer thirty-seven deaths.” It flows off her tongue like a prayer, one she has repeated too many times for it to mean anything.  

"And if we refuse?"

Lexa smiles then, sinister and void of amicability. 

"The innocent will pay for your crimes.  I will kill your daughter first,” she says, looking straight at Abby, “then the boy and his sister.  I will make you watch as I skin them alive, as I take their eyes, then their hands, then their feet.  Then I will watch as my army slaughters all your children first, then your women, then your men.  Finally, I will come for you and by that time, under the weight of all those you let die, you will beg me to end your lives.”

Silence. 

She feels the eyes of her warriors on her.  She feels Indra’s approval and Lincoln’s surprise.  She feels Anya’s pain.    

"You have three days to surrender the guilty."  

./././././././

She's barely keeping up.  The torches of the riding party have almost disappeared in the distance and Raven wills herself to walk faster, to run faster, but her leg stops her from doing so.  

She limps on, reminding herself she won't survive in the forest in the middle of the night alone.  No Earth Preparation Class on the Ark could prepare her for the real thing.  The dread is starting to set in as she hears howling from a distance and she trips, hitting her knee on something hard and she curses out loud.  

She curses her leg and she curses herself for sneaking out of camp, for leaving the comfort of her bed and Finn and everything familiar.

This isn't how it's supposed to end.

“You having a hard time keeping up?” She hears and she shouldn't be relieved but she is.  The woman doesn’t seem angry she's being followed, just amused as she stands above her. Raven wonders if she knew she was being followed the whole time.  And while Raven knows she probably shouldn’t push her luck with the Grounders, if she hasn’t killed her yet she doubts her life is in danger. 

“I want to see my friends.” Raven says from the ground and the woman purses her lips in thought before nodding and offering a hand.  Her palm is rough, from years of training, Raven imagines.  She pulls her to her legs easily.  Raven kicks herself for wobbling but when the woman's arms slide around her waist to steady her, she stops complaining then and there.  

“Anya.”

“Raven.”

She starts walking then and Raven's heart sinks until the woman sighs and looks over her shoulder.

"You coming or what?" She asks and Raven nods quickly, limping as quickly as she can.  If the woman notices, she doesn't mention it.

Instead she whistles, loud and clear and the torches in front of them stop moving.  They catch up and the grounder look even more terrifying in torchlight.  The shadows bounce off their faces and they look like the killers Jaha made them out to be.  She avoids looking them in the eyes, instead electing to look at Anya. 

Their eyes follow her every movement but they say nothing.  She watches a young woman cock her head in confusion at Anya before sucking her teeth and looking away.  She looks awfully familiar and then it hits her.  It’s Lexa, the grounder girl from the holding cell.  

Anya leads them to a horse and Raven is in awe.  She’s only seen pictures of them but it’s a beautiful creature, bigger than she expected.  The woman – Anya – expertly kicks a leg over the mare and then offers her a hand.  Raven grabs her by the forearm and the woman swings her onto the beast.  It takes her a second to find her balance. 

"Don't look down." The woman murmurs in her ear. 

Raven tells herself she doesn't enjoy the warmth of pressing against Anya's front. 

 ./././././. 

She left what seems like hours ago and Clarke hasn’t moved from her position on the bed.  She hasn’t dressed yet, she hasn’t eaten, and she hasn’t spoken.

The tent has grown dark and neither her nor Costia has made the effort to light the torches and the candles in the tent. 

She prefers the darkness, anyway.    

They hear shouting then, some sort of commotion in the village and Clarke forces herself off the bed when she hears someone shout “Heda.”

Costia helps her dress, pulling her shirt over her head and handing her a pair of Lexa’s trousers that fit snug on her hips.

The first thing Clarke sees is Lexa sitting regally on her horse, as the villagers crowd around her, greeting with bows and cheers.  She nods at her subjects and if Clarke didn't know her, didn’t how her nostrils flared and her jaw clenched, she would have thought her to be completely fine.

Clarke knows she’s hurting.

Lexa’s clothes are free of blood and she takes that as a good sign.  

And then she sees her - Raven.  She's sitting on a horse, with Anya behind her and Clarke's having a hard time understanding Anya's choice to bring her and Lexa's decision to allow such. 

She sees from the corner of her eye that Octavia and Bellamy are already running to her, helping her off the horse and throwing their arms around her.  

Clarke pushes through the crowd with every intention to greet Raven but then her eyes meet Lexa's and she freezes.

Lexa doesn’t offer her anything.

She doesn't look furious and she doesn't look angry.  She looks exhausted as she slides off her horse, declines dinner, and walks away slowly in the direction of her tent.  Clarke’s heart is pounding in her ears and her palms are swearing.  Lexa walks right past her, eyes not meeting hers, but their hands brush as she passes and Clarke can’t breathe.

Costia's eyes are glued to Lexa, begging to be met, but Lexa doesn’t oblige and while Clarke expects Costia to follow her, she doesn’t.  Instead, she sighs and leaves Clarke and approaches Anya.  She can't hear the exchange but Anya must have said something sarcastic because Costia - for the first time today - smiles and shakes her head.  

They look too human for Clarke's taste and she looks away. 

"Clarke!" Raven exclaims as soon as she sees her and throws her arms around her.  It catches her off guard.  Raven and her were never close but she supposes the threat of mass genocide brings people together. 

"What are you doing here?" She asks, looking Raven over for injuries.

"The hot one let me tag along."

Anya's eye brows perk up and she spares them a look but says nothing. Costia on the other hand is laughing, really laughing.  And Clarke’s not sure she can even produce the sound anymore. 

How can anyone suffer like they have and still know laughter and kindness and love?

“Did you know that Grounder chick is here?” Raven asks and then Octavia and Bellamy are laughing along and Clarke cannot help but admire the resiliency of humanity. 

A smile spreads across her face and she automatically feels guilty.  Out here they’re laughing, and in there Lexa is weeping.

././././././

She walks through the flaps of Lexa's tent in time to see her wiping the thick war paint off her cheeks.  

“If they do as I’ve asked, your people will be spared.  Pray they make the right choice.” Is the first thing she says to Clarke.  No greeting and it feels uncharacteristically cold.

“What did you ask for?” She asks, still standing at the exit, meters away from Lexa.

It feels like worlds.

“The lives of the guilty for the lives of the living.”

“That’s –”

Just. Gracious. Fair.

“Reasonable,” she finally concludes and Lexa nods.  And Clarke wants to cry because Lexa is all too rational, all too merciful, and all too good.  Clarke wants to cry, not for her people, but for the girl under the war paint, the girl who carries the lives of all her people, the girl turned legend; the girl turned God.

"Clarke?" Lexa’s standing then, her voice wavering and it does nothing but encourage the tears welling in her eyes.

She tries to swallow the sob down but it rattles her chest and breaks free.

Lexa’s not a God, she’s just a girl, she’s just skin and flesh stitched together by idealism and promises and hope. 

"I'm sorry that – “

She’s sorry the girl was chosen for greatness and she's sorry she lost her family because of it.  She's sorry she's meant to be a legend, a myth, an abstract being that can feel no pain or suffering, that cannot show the world how much she grieves. 

She’s sorry she turned her world upside down. 

Lexa's in front of her then, green eyes searching.  She reaches for her, just her fingers, and pulls Clarke to the bed of furs.  She sits down next to her and brushes the tears away with her thumb, leaning in and pressing gentle kisses where they fall.

She catches herself then and looks ahead, eyes refusing to meet Clarke’s.  She looks down at their hands and draws circles into her palms. 

“I’m the one who’s sorry.” She murmurs, watching her pointer finger trace the veins in the back of Clarke’s hand.

And Clarke’s not sure what she’s sorry for.  She’s not sure if Lexa’s sorry they’re in this situation or she’s sorry for demanding Jaha’s head or for all the pain and sadness in the world.

And whatever it is, Clarke just wants to forgive her, wants to hold her and grant her forgiveness, grant her the absolution she needs to lift the weight off her shoulders.

When Lexa finally looks up, she looks guilty and drained and distressed.

“I told your mother I’d kill you first.”

It aches. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated.  
> Also, check out my new Politician AU called "House of Woods." 
> 
> I am accepting prompts. Leave them in the comments or find me on tumblr @ --> justmenotwe


	9. Kom Trikru

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, 
> 
> As always, sorry it took so long... on the bright side, I am determined to see this story to the end. Got some pretty cool stuff planned so stay tuned. New chapter out next week. 
> 
> In the meantime, check out House of Woods! Next chapter of HoW will be up this weekend, btw.

She watches from a distance as the Sky kids - with the exception of Clarke, though Anya doesn't need to be told to know where she is - sit around a fire, eating breakfast and without a doubt sharing stories of their times spent apart.    

The girl with the brown eyes – Raven – listens carefully and watches Octavia show off her sword.  Anya automatically recognizes it as Indra’s old blade and she can’t help but wonder what the young girl did to earn her respect.

She hadn’t had the chance to spar with her yet but from Indra’s praise, which was not granted but instead earned, she had great potential.  She was a quick learner and – with the correct training – she would grow into a capable warrior. 

If Indra wouldn’t have claimed her as her own, Anya would have tapped her for second. 

She could have been useful, had she been born on the ground.  It was almost a shame she would die in three days' time.  

“Come on! You try!” Octavia grinned, coaxing Raven to her feet.  Bellamy watched her with careful eyes, not sure if he should intervene or call his sister off, but Raven rises to her feet with minimal trouble and he says nothing.   

The young girl pushes the blade into her friend's awaiting hands and Raven tests out its weight before swatting, somewhat clumsily, at the air in front of her.  She’s off balance and her swing has little power behind it.   

“Looking a little weak there, Rae.”  It’s the boy now, Bellamy.  And Anya is ready to march over there and wipe the smirk off his face, ready to defend Raven's pride, ready to put him in his place for calling the girl weak.  She already on her feet when she hears it - Raven laughing.  Her whole face lights up and she doesn’t look hurt or offended in the least bit, and maybe her skin is a little thicker than Anya originally thought. 

“Come at me, Baby Boy Blake.”  She taunts back, holding the blade high above her head, more confidently this time. 

Bellamy grins as he kicks himself off the floor, staff in his hands. 

Anya wonders if it bothers her – her leg.  She wonders how it happened.  How, in the short time the skaikru has been on the ground, she managed to lose function of her leg.  Was she born such a way?  With the advance technology of the Skaikru, shouldn’t they be able to fix her leg?

Was it her people that did this? 

Anya wonders if she wishes she were different. 

She hears lightly footsteps beside her and she turns her head to watch Costia emerge from her tent, wrapped only in a blanket and nothing more.  It drapes off her shoulder and soft, red love bites cover her shoulder and neck.  

“She’s pretty,” Costia murmurs, settling down next to Anya on the log bench.  Anya says nothing, handing her warm, freshly brewed green tea in a thick black mug.

Costia is quiet for a while, breathing in deeply, feeling the icy air piercing her nostrils and lungs, “Winter’s coming.”

It is.  They will soon have to start scavenging for winter, stockpiling food, and opening more trade with Azgeda.  Their transgressions could have waited until the Spring, though she images it’s a strategic move on their part.  They’re capable fighters in the cold; The Tree People, the Boat clan, and the others, not so much. 

Lexa will soon have to face the queen.  

Costia must have come to the same realization because she shivers and Anya knows she aches.  Every scar throbs, begging to be ripped open and Costia brings her arms tightly around her chest.  Anya seen her do it before more times than she can count.  

She's trying to hold herself together.  

Anya's seen them - the scars; she sees them every night before she falls asleep.  Lexa saw them once and could never again look at Costia without feeling guilty, without feeling responsible.  Even so, Anya figures Lexa sees them every night, too.  

_What if I can't hold myself together?_

_Then I'll hold you together._

Anya sighs, remembering her promise, and reaches over and pulling the blanket more securely over Costia’s shoulders before snaking an arm around her waist and pulling her in close.  The girl leans into her touch and rests easily against her shoulder, her breathing slowly evening out.   

She’s familiarity. 

She’s comfort.

She’s home when the world around is nothing but jaded and harsh. 

She's the only person, aside from Lexa, who has seen her vulnerable, who has seen her crying, who has seen her begging, who has seen her break.  

She's the only person Anya allows herself to be intimate with because sometimes all she needs is to be held by someone who doesn't think her impenetrable.  Costia gives more than she takes and she's so fucking gentle, it breaks Anya's heart.  After everything that's been done to her, after all she has suffered, she is anything but cruel; she is anything but callous.  

Costia is anything but the world. 

She's a wonder. 

“Why’d you let her come?” The girl's soft voice brings her out of her thoughts.  She looks down and is met by green - curious, never judgmental.    

“Lexa got herself a pet, I figured it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t have one.”  It’s such an Anya response and Costia doesn’t reply verbally, placing her head back on Anya's shoulder.  Even with her eyes out of view, Anya knows the younger girl is rolling her eyes. 

Anya doesn’t mean it, not really, and Costia knows that.  She knows her well enough to know when she’s being defensive, to know when she’s avoiding something. 

It’s then that Raven looks up and her eyes jump between Anya and Costia.  She purses her lips and something akin to disappointment spreads across her face.  She quickly looks away.  

Anya tells herself it’s not blighted hope.   

“How is she?” Anya knows Costia is no longer talking about Raven.  She hears the pain in her voice, the pain she only reserves for Lexa.  And Anya feels the familiar pang in her chest. 

Costia deserves so much more than this world has given her. 

_We all do._

Soft finger tips trace the winding tattoo on her inside forearm.

How has this world not turned you into a monster, Anya wants to scream.  Why did it turn me into a monster, she wants to ask.  

She doesn't. 

“You still care for her.”

 _You still love her._  

“I will always care for her.”

_I will always love her._

“I’m sorry.”

She’s not sure what she’s apologizing for.

_I’m sorry I’m not Lexa._

_I’m sorry you have to watch her love another._

_I’m sorry you were born into darkness when you deserve nothing but the sun._

She feels Costia shake her head but she says nothing, her eyes falling upon the Commander’s tent.  Anya knows all too well what she’s nostalgic for. 

Costia's longs for Lexa and home and youth. 

Anya yearns for the same.   

././././.

In Ton Arling she knew summer nights and drinking moonshine with Anya and Lincoln.  She knew Costia’s lips on her own and her mother scolding her for not finishing her chores.  She knew showing up to class late with love bites on her collarbone.  She knew Anya's laughter, loud and hearty.  

A life where war and death were nothing more but conversation topics between elders.  It never touched her.  None of her friends died warriors, she was never stripped of a mother or father. 

But like every kid, she dreamed of glory.    

She dreamed of greatness. 

She dreamed of being a warrior, a conqueror; she dreamed of dying a martyr. 

Alexandria the Great. 

Anya dreamed of being a war hero, of saving her people from the Mountain Men.

Lincoln dreamed of bringing their people lasting peace.

But they were just that - dreams.  They were dreams never to be fulfilled, ones visited and laughed about over dinner, ones to be shared with her own children years down the road. 

The dreams faded though, and the older she grew, the more content she was growing up a fisherman's daughter.  She hoped for different things then.  She hoped for a good crop yield, she hoped for good health, she hoped war wouldn't touch their home.  

Instead she dreamed of love and hoped for peace.

It seems war found her instead. 

Between night fall and dawn, any traces of the Commander disappear and only Lexa remains.  She was coaxed out of her armor with gentle kisses, soft fingers, and promises of forgiveness.

The numbness of the night dissipates slowly and with every kiss she melts, starting to feel again.

The tears stream down Clarke’s cheeks slowly and Lexa wipes them away.

“I’m sorry Earth isn’t what you expected,” Lexa whispers to her in the darkness as she kisses a pure, unscarred shoulder.   

Clarke cries harder and the only thing Lexa can do is cradle her to her bare chest and press kisses to the side of her hair.  She murmurs songs Anya used to sing to her whenever she felt herself limping under the weight of her title.

They don’t speak after that; they don’t say a word because _I told your mother I’d kill you first_ still lingers between them.   

When the sun rises, peaking through the hides of the tent, Clarke rolls over to the side and starts getting dressed.

Lexa can’t take her eyes off her as she binds her breasts and slips on a pair of Lexa’s trousers.  She keeps her own jacket, looking like a synthesis of old and new, of ground and sky. 

And it’s as painful as it is poetic.

“What happens now?” Clarke asks, sitting on the edge of the bed and pulling boots over her feet.

Lexa wishes she had a ready answer. 

“It depends,” is all she can muster, lying back and starring at the thick hides lining her tent.  It was getting cold.  The clans are in need of preparations for winter.  She would probably travel to each of them and see what they could provide and what they required for the long winter months ahead.

She would have to calm Azgeda or prepare for war. 

A war on two fronts, even with the support of 11 clans would not be wise.  She knows what history says about fighting two front wars and it’s not a mistake she’ll willing to make. 

The Skaikru relinquishing their guilty would be preferable, beneficial even.  They would assimilate to an extent and still retain most of their autonomy.  They would have to be helped in their transition and in surviving their first winter. 

The Queen would be far less inclined to attack knowing Skaikru is in the side of the coalition, maybe even a part of it. 

And if they didn’t… well, she didn’t want to think about that. 

“Depends on the decisions of my people?” Clarke asks, her eyes momentarily giving in and allowing themselves to drift over Lexa’s uncovered body, the valley of her breasts, the muscles of her stomach contracting as she props herself up on her elbows, the sex between her thighs…

“Yes,” Lexa clears her throat, eyes on Clarke’s lips.  She doesn’t shy away from Clarke’s gaze.  Instead, she sits up and grabs the back of Clarke’s neck pulling their lips together.  The blonde gasps, giving Lexa the chance to slide her tongue into her mouth. 

She revels in it, she needs it, just for a second.

Lexa didn't understand it - not fully - her feelings for Clarke.  She pushed confronting them to the side and she refused acknowledging them.  If she did, if she faced them, if she said it out loud, it was real. 

As long as they existed in the contours of her mind, she could pretend they were nonexistent.  

She feels Clarke tremble as the sky girl reaches out, fingers ghosting over Lexa’s cheek before wrapping around her braid and pulling back.  

A whine escapes as Clarke’s lips attach to her neck, teeth sinking deep enough to draw blood.  Lexa reaches her, attempting to pull the girl on top of her but Clarke places hands on Lexa’s shoulder and shoves her back, hard.

She gets off the bed then, standing up, and wiping her mouth, back turned on Lexa.  

Lexa’s left on the bed, legs spread, breathing heavy.  She closes her eyes, attempting to get her breathing under control. 

Clarke can’t look at her now.  She can’t look at Lexa, bare, vulnerable, open all for her.  She can’t look at the girl while speaking to the Commander.    

“What if they don’t give up the guilty?” Clarke asks, as if nothing between them just transpired.  She refuses to turn around and face Lexa.  Her hands, needing something to play with, fall upon Lexa’s dagger.

Pain shoots through Lexa’s chest and her stomach drops at Clarke’s question. 

_You will die._

The answer goes unvoiced.  She doesn’t open her eyes to look at Clarke.  The thought of Clarke dying by the hand of another infuriated her, enraged her.  She'd burn down villages to find her, too.  

Lexa would start wars for her. 

The Commander, though, cannot and she steadies her jaw and swings her legs over the bed.  She stalks behind Clarke, pressing her exposed front into the girl’s back.  She grips at her hips and placed her chin on the shorter girl’s shoulder, emersing herself in Clarke's scent, in her being, just for a moment, before whispering, “Will you go back to die with your people?”

Clarke hand tightens over the dagger. 

././././././././

Raven is infuriating and a nuisance, not to mention annoying and insufferable.  It only takes one training session for Anya to come to that conclusion.  She has a response to everything and more often than not it’s laced with sarcasm.  

“If you’re going to survive on the ground you need to learn how to defend yourself,” Anya says, easily dogging Raven’s punch.

“Well, if you’d just stop moving…” The girl grumbles and hurls herself forward once again, swinging wildly. 

Anya has to hand it to her, it’s been the better half of an hour and Raven hasn’t let up.  She grimaces and she pants, but she doesn’t give up.

She leaves her right side wide open and Anya takes the opportunity.  She kicks her, lightly on the top of her good thigh and Raven stumbles. 

Her eyes widen and her mouth hangs open, “Did you just kick me?”

“Call it motivation.” Anya meets her surprise with a grin, before adding, “Out there, your enemy moves.”

_And quickly, more skillfully than you._

She’s the enemy.  Anya’s the enemy.  The Grounders are the enemy.  She wouldn’t survive and Anya probably shouldn’t be giving the tools to. 

“I’d kick your ass but I don’t think your girlfriend would like it if I did.”

And there is it.

“Costia is not my girlfriend.”  Anya drops her arms, abandoning her fighting stance and turning her back on her opponent.  

_Never turn your back on the enemy._

Indra’s words echo in her mind.  Her shoulder aches as she remembers Indra cauterizing her wound after she showed mercy and decided to walk away from a young Azgeda warrior. 

She was naïve then. 

She casts the Sky girl a look behind her shoulder before walking over and grabbing a towel and a canteen, handing both to Raven.

“Then what is she?” She pushes and Anya wonders if all sky people are this pushy and nosey or if it’s just this one. 

“She’s familiar.”

Raven grows silent then, more serious than Anya has ever seen her, and Anya swears she sees understanding flash in her eyes.

She says nothing as she wipes the back of her neck with a towel and Anya diverts her eyes from the beads of sweat dripping down, under the front of Raven’s tank top. 

“Comfort, I get that.”  Is all she says and Anya wonders how Raven dulls the pain and if it’s similar to the way Anya does.

She takes a long drink from the canteen before handing it back, her forearm muscles gleaming.  She doesn’t meet Anya’s eyes, “Thank you, for this.  For doing this with me, I mean.”

It doesn’t come out easily and Anya swallows down whatever emotional response may come along with it, but the meaning isn’t lost on her. 

Raven’s not used to it.  She’s not used to asking or receiving help.  Anya can relate. 

“Anytime,” Anya shrugs, taking the canteen from her and Raven looks up at her then, smile spreading across her face and lighting up her dark eyes. 

Anya feels the involuntary but unfamiliar tug at her lips.

Maybe they’re not so different. 

./././././././

Octavia and Bellamy are stacking fire wood when she finds them.  She barely recognized Octavia with the braids in her hair and two steaks of war paint smothered across her face. 

Bellamy, too, has abandoned his guard jacket in return for a thicker, darker one, without a doubt Lincoln’s. 

He smiles as she approaches them.  She launches herself into his arm and though surprised, he reciprocates quickly, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist.

She needs something familiar now, something that reminds her of home and Bellamy is as close as it gets. 

He doesn’t smell like home, not anymore.  He doesn’t look like home either. 

“We need to go back,” she says as she pulls away, her eyes begging, “I’m leaving tonight.”  Bellamy looks at her in confusion, his mouth opening to say something but Octavia cuts him off.

“I don’t owe those people anything, Clarke.” 

“‘Those people’ are our people,” she says, turning to the younger girl, trying to catch her eye but Octavia is having none of it.  She avoids her gaze likes its poison and Clarke knows she won’t get a rise out of someone who feels no attachment, no loyalty, no dedication to their people.    

It’s not what she wanted to hear but it is what she expected.  Octavia has found a home in Ton DC, a home that was never offered to her at the Ark.  She never fell in love with the people of the Ark, she never saw any good in them.

She sees good in the Grounders – in Lincoln and in Indra, even in Lexa.

In the Grounders, against all odds, she was offered a home and going further – a community.  She was offered a new lease on life, where she could do anything and be anyone. 

She didn’t have to be the girl locked under the floor.

She didn’t have to live her life in the periphery. 

“What about you, Bellamy?”

It’s not fair.  She knows it’s not as soon as the words leave her mouth.  He freezes and his eyes are pleading, drifting from her face to Octavia’s and even before he answers, Clarke knows where he stands.

His loyalties don’t lie with her and they most certainty don’t lie with their people; his loyalties lie with Octavia and only Octavia. 

“There are good people in that camp and you both know it,” she pleads, sitting on the dirt in front of them. 

Octavia rolls her eyes, “There are good people here too.” She wipes her hands on her trousers and turns her back on the two of them, muttering something about a scouting mission

And Clarke doesn’t have a response to that because she’s right. 

Bellamy joins her, placing a reassuring hand on her knee.

“I’m sorry, Clarke.” He says quietly and he means it, she knows he means it.  He wrings his hands before starting again, “It’s not safe for you to go back, Clarke.”

It’s the last line that doesn’t make her feel any better.  She pushes it to the side for the time being.  Her mom wouldn’t let her leave, not again.  And if they didn’t give up their guilty, she would die. 

Lexa wouldn’t spare her.

She’s not sure she’d want to be spared.  

He doesn’t mind it; he doesn’t mind the way the grounders live but he also feels attachment to his people.  He feels some sort of pull and dedication to them.  Clarke’s right.  They’re not all bad and the ones who aren’t deserve the chance to live peacefully among the grounders.

Whether the council knows it or not, they need the grounders.  Signs of winter are everywhere and while they have never experienced it, if the chilly mornings are any indication, the sky people are ill prepared for it. 

They’re skilled hunters and right about now he’s guessing the sky people are running low on food.  They’ll run out of ammo soon, too.  And then what? 

There was no way Kane was involved in the decision making process that left a grounder village burned to the ground.  If there was only a way to get Kane out of Camp Jaha, if there was a way to get the innocents out. 

Would Lexa turn them away?  He figures Clarke would know the answer better than he. 

“What if we could get them out somehow?” He asks.  It’s optimistic, really, because he doesn’t know how they would even go about that.  If one of them were to go back, they would surely not be allowed back out, Jaha would not allow it.

“Go on.” Clarke says. 

He scratches his head.  It’s possible, if the grounders had radios.  And with Raven here, she could fix it, right?

“Well, hypothetically speaking, if the grounders had a radio we could use it, right?”

He watches the gears turning behind Clarke’s eyes and then she’s nodding, “Yes, yes.  We need to talk to Kane.”

It’s the closest thing to hope she’s felt in days.  She pushes herself of the ground and grins at the man still sitting.  She leans down, placing a quick kiss to his hair, “You’re the best, Bel.”

And with that she’s off. 

It’s a long shot.  If the grounders even have a radio, they need to radio in to the right person.  If they get anyone but Kane, the plan will very likely go to shit. 

./././././

Clarke spots Raven with none other than Anya.  They’re walking relatively close and Anya seems to be showing her around town square.  Raven seems genuinely interested, walking up to every booth, ever table. 

The first thing she notices is Raven’s grin and the next is Raven’s limp.  She hadn’t noticed it the night before and there’s no way it’s a training injury.  It’s something more permanent.

She’s close enough now to hear them. 

They’re standing in front of a booth with bows. 

“Heya,” Anya says quietly and the man bows slightly before Anya but she doesn’t notice, eyes on Raven. 

Raven notices. 

She notices how people straighten their back when Anya comes near.  She notices how they observe her, reverence and admiration in their eyes. 

Raven wonders if she bears a similar expression.    

She wonders who Anya is, really.  And why these people look at her with such awe.

Anya has been nothing but helpful, but not patronizing and Raven can’t help be appreciate it.  After… her injury people on the Ark started treating her as if she was incapable of making her own decisions or doing simple, mundane tasks. 

Her fingers glide over a particularly beautiful bow.  It’s carved out of dark wood and has designs carved into it.  Raven’s fingers tighten over it and she picks it up, aiming at the targets in the distance.

Anya reached for an arrow and hands her one.  Raven looks at it sheepishly before admitting, “I’ve never done this before.  I’ve never even seen it done.”

Anya nods stretching out her hand for the bow.  Raven hands it to her and Anya expertly places the arrow on the string, pulls back and hits the furthest of the three targets in the dead center. 

People clap but Anya says nothing, her face remaining expressionless as she hands it back to Raven.

The girl nods, determination coloring her features and mimics Anya’s movement. 

“Pard ai, Onya, ba laik yu sure em ste klir gon her kom do bilaik?” _Pardon me, Anya, but are you sure it is safe for her to do that?_

The man looks uneasy as he says it and Raven stops at the unfamiliar tongue.  He’s talking about her, if his eyes are any indication.  Her leg, specifically. 

Anya turns to him, eyes narrowing.  She steps close to him and by the fear that flashes in his eyes, the sky girl can see he’s quickly regretting whatever it is he said.

“Hod yu teina.” _Hold your tongue._

The man nods, swallowing hard.

Anya turns to her then, “widen your stance.”  She places a leg between Raven’s and pushes her good foot back, fixing her stance.

“Keep your elbow straight,” she says, firm hands finding her elbow and pushing it up into place.

“Three fingers,” she says, mouth close to Raven’s ear and the girl forces herself to contain her shiver.

“What.” 

“Hold the string with three fingers.” Anya clears her throat and Raven swears she sees the beginnings of pink coloring Anya’s cheeks. 

Anya backs away then, giving her space.  Raven takes a deep breath, suddenly aware of the eyes on her, the eyes on them.  It’s not just the man selling the bows, it’s all those in the square, it seems, that have turned to watch her fail.  

No, she corrects herself, to watch her succeed. 

She pulls the arrow back, aiming for the closest target.  She struggles getting the string all the way back, realizing Anya made it look incredibly easy.  Years of strength training, she images. 

Another deep breath.

And she releases.  It’s not a bullseye, not by any means but she hits the outer circle.  And for her, that’s a victory.  She hears clapping behind her and it’s the man Anya reprimanded that starts it, the rest of the villagers following suit. 

When she turns to face Anya, the older girl has the closest thing Raven has seen to a smile on her face. 

Anya reaches into her pocket and pulls out a small baggie, handing it to the man.  The contents clank and jingle in his hands as he opens it and his eyes widen.  

“Mochof, mochof.” _Thank you, thank you._ He repeats it several more times, bowing his head before them. 

Anya says nothing as she grabs several arrows and a leather quiver and hands them to Raven, pushing them into her arms before the girl has time to protest. 

“It’ll come in handy.”

It’s then that Clarke decides to make her presence known, pushing through the crowd that has formed. 

“Anya, Raven,” she greets the two before turning to Raven, “I need to speak with you. Now.”

Raven looks to Anya, who just shrugs and waves them off, turning to the bow salesman and starting a conversation in the foreign tongue. 

“Where the hell have you been all day?” Clarke asks and it’s not the most tactful way she could have gone about it.  She doesn't have the right to ask, not really.  She knows that.  Besides greeting Raven, she has yet to give her the time of day.  

“With Anya,” Raven answers frowning and crossing her arms in front of her.  

“Why?" It comes out before she can stop it.  What she really means is how.  How has Raven managed to spend a day with Anya.  How it is that Anya has allowed the villagers to see them together.  To be see interacting with Skaikru, and from the look of it - enjoying their presence, it would be an insult in her eyes.  

And she feel guilty because part of her doesn't want Raven to get along with the Grounders.  She needs someone on her side, someone to fight for their people.  It's not Octavia and it's not Bellamy.  She thought Raven wouldn't be so easily compromised.  

She understands.  God, she understands because all she wants to do is fall into Lexa's embrace.  All she wants to go is visit foreign clans and explore unknown lands and see the ocean.  

“Excuse me?” Raven asks, as she clips her quiver on her back. 

“Nevermind, it’s not important," she drops it, "Raven, hypothetically speaking, if the grounders had old radios and walkie talkies somewhere in camp could you repair them?”

“I only studied space engineering for 4 years.  I’m only the youngest space –”

“In under two days’ time?” Clarke cuts her off because of course Raven is more than capable of fixing a radio but she needs to hear it.  She needs some good news.  Some hope that maybe Lexa won't lead to the destruction of her people.  That maybe the person she has shared a bed with won't lead to her own death.  

“Yes.”

Clarke's reaction is almost automatic.  She sighs, taking a deep breath and her shoulders fall.  

“I have an idea."

././././././

When her and Raven return to camp there is some sort of commotion in the square.  Octavia, dressed in full grounder gear, is on her knees in front of the Commander.  Her sword is driven into the ground in front of it and both her hands rest on it, her head held down. 

She's bowing.

Lexa’s not looking at her though, she’s looking at Costia.  Her face betrays nothing - she looks indifferent, bored even - but Clarke doesn’t miss the way Lexa’s eyes drift to Costia’s collarbone and neck taking in the red marks before her eyes fall on Anya, standing to her side.

She wonders if this was Costia's idea.  

It couldn't have been Indra's, who was gone most of the day, and it's obvious from Lincoln and Anya's expressions, who flank the Commander on either side, that they had absolutely no prior knowledge of Octavia's plan.  The villagers murmur quietly amongst themselves, watching intently.  

“I swear allegiance to you, Heda.  I vow to take a life with you.  I am the solider of the Commander of the Blood,” the girl says, eyes at Lexa’s feet.

The girl on her knees is either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid, Lexa has yet to decide. 

Costia’s gaze is begging, begging her to accept Octavia’s offering.  Lincoln beside her is panicked, hand on dagger, eyes jumping from the Commander to the girl on the ground.  Indra is there too and while the older woman is usually composed and stone faced, her eye brows knit just slightly.    

She hasn’t taken the younger girl as her second, not yet, but she has expressed interest.  Her knowledge of Skaikru could prove useful.  Trained by the right mentor, she could prove to be an asset. 

“Ai badan yu op en nou moun.” _I serve you and no other._

And there it is – the sacred oath.

No doubt something she picked up from Costia and Lincoln.  Costia looks almost guilty while Lincoln's biting his lip, anxiously awaiting her decision.  There’s something in his eyes, something deeper, something that goes beyond craving, beyond infatuation. 

Is it…   

She spots Clarke in the crowd, holding the new Skaikru girl’s hand tightly, eyes wide. She's scared for her friend.  She's seen the power of Heda, she's seen Heda execute people without blinking an eye.

“Will you fight for me even if it means the destruction of your people?” Lexa asks, placing a resting hand on Octavia's shoulder.  The girl doesn't flinch under her touch; she doesn't move an inch.  

“You are my people, Heda.”  She says it loudly, meeting Lexa's eyes.  And Lexa believes her.  She believes that Octavia has found a home among her people, a home that she will fight to protect.  In the forest she has found solace from the confines of the ark.  In Lincoln, something deeper, something real.  

Gasps and murmurs erupt from the crowd as they await the verdict. 

If she accepts her, she must accept all Sky people who wish to join her people.

Yet, if she rejects her, she loses Lincoln.  She loses Clarke, too.  She rejects her and she throws away any belief that Trikru and Skaikru alike may live together in a peaceful and symbiotic relationship.  

She stands nothing to gain from rejecting her allegiance.  Her people will follow her regardless, she knows that.  Some may be hesitant to accept Skaikru as their own but they must.

It is the only way.   

“You may rise,” her voice rings out, powerful and firm.  Everyone falls silent, all eyes on her.  Octavia stands, meeting her eyes and in them Lexa sees nothing but hope, nothing but dedication, nothing but promise.

This is their future. 

“Oktevia kom Trikru.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt me on tumblr @ justmenotwe
> 
> Thanks for reading! And thank you for all the comments and kudos!


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